A Different Sort Of Quiz Today

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

.

To give you a bit of a break from the normal quiz day – yes, I’m still watching the World Cup football and the final was yesterday. Well done Germany, commiserations Argentina. 

So instead here is one taken by other people.

Twenty questions from a SAT Science Exam and, as well as being amusing, it is also a good commentary on  the state of the education system these days.

.

Quiz 03

.

Q: Name the four seasons.

A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

.

.

Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.

A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.

.

.

Q: How is dew formed?

A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

.

.

Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?

A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.

.

.

Q: What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on?

A: If you are buying a house, they will insist you are well endowed.

.

.

Q: What are steroids?

A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.

.

.

Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?

A: He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.

.

.

Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.

A: Premature death.

.

.

Q: What is artificial insemination?

A: When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow.

.

.

Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?

A: Keep it in the cow.

.

.

Q: How are the main parts of the body categorised? (e.g., abdomen.)

A: The body is consisted into three parts – the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels, A, E, I, O and U.

.

.

Q: What is the Fibula?

A: A small lie.

.

.

Q: What does “varicose” mean?

A: Nearby.

.

.

Q: What is the most common form of birth control?

A: Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium.

.

.

Q: Give the meaning of the term “Caesarean Section”

A: The caesarean section is a district in Rome.

.

.

Q: What is a seizure?

A: A Roman emperor.

.

.

Q: What is a terminal illness?

A: When you are sick at the airport

.

.

Q: Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?

A: Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas.

.

.

Q: What does the word “benign” mean?

A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.

.

.

Q: What happens to your body as you age?

A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.

.

———————————————————————-

.

Comments are welcome. If you would like to make one on this post this is the place to do it.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s