Shock Headline: Rising Numbers Are On The Increase.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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But no shock that today is another Pun Day!

Enjoy or endure!!

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rofl

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Just opened my Electric bill and my Water bill at the same time.

I was completely shocked.

Utility-Bill

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The man who invented Velcro has died.

RIP

Velcro

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Keifer Sutherland was held up by Homeland Security

when he flew into LA airport for the

filming of the first episode of a new TV series.

They asked him the purpose of his visit and he said,

“I’m here to shoot a pilot.”

Keifer Sutherland with gun action shot

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My great uncle was so stubborn,

when he died, he left a won’t.

so stubborn

.

“You make a very good cuppa,” she said.

“It’s my special tea,” I replied.

cup of tea

.

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I fell down a really deep dark hole today.

I just couldn’t see that well.

well

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There are countless films without Dracula in them.

dracula risen-fangs

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Just read a really sad story about how

blind people get used to new surroundings…

Touching stuff.

blind people touching

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I’ve decided to stop wearing my glasses.

It makes me look harder.

Worker looking forward, covering eyes from the sun

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 A rule of grammar:

double negatives are a no-no.

The-Simpsons-s11e06-Hello-Gutter-Hello-Fadder

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So here I am trekking through the woods……

hang on, bear with me

trekking through the woods

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Weighing an elephant is just like weighing a human.

But on a much bigger scale.

Weighing an elephant

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I asked my boss if I could leave half an hour early the other day.

He said, ” Only if you make up the time.”

I said, ” OK. It’s 35 past 50.”         

time-management-clock

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I work in McDonald’s and a customer was rude to me today,

so I got him back by not putting any Coke in his drink.

Just ice was served.         

glass of ice cubes

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Brian May is a slightly more optimistic version of Brian Cant.         

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