“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”
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The clue is always in the title.
Today is Pun Day, so brace yourself for more word play and silly jokes.
Go on, you know you love ‘em.
Enjoy or endure.
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Can you tell me what someone from Corsica is called?
Corsican!
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My mum was getting annoyed because of her job sewing things.
I said, “You seamstressed.”
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“Timmy , your homework assignment was to read War and Peace.
Why haven’t you read it?”
“Sorry Miss. It’s a long story.”
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There was this group on Facebook called
‘Help the children in Africa who are suffering from the heat’.
So I became a fan.
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I invested $1000 in some American shares…..
It made a lot of cents.
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I was on a cruise ship which had both sides labeled as starboard.
Something wasn’t right.
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Don’t bother entering the Repairman Of The Year Award
– it’s fixed
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I fell out of a 600 story building and lived.
It was a library.
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Everyone who tastes my homemade wine says it tastes horrible.
I think it’s just sour grapes.
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What do you have
if you have a cricket ball in one hand
and a cricket ball in the other?
A really big cricket!
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I got myself a new toy – it’s a laminator.
Basically, it’s a machine that kills baby sheep.
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My girlfriend left me the other day.
Accordion to her I make tune many musical puns.
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A guy walks into the psychiatrist
wearing only shorts made from Bubble wrap.
The psychiatrist says,
“Well, I can clearly see you’re nuts.”
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What’s the fastest way to get stoned?
Be a woman in Iran.
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“The total cost would be £3000,” said the funeral director.
“That includes digging the grave.”
“Is that the whole thing?” I asked.
He replied, “Yes, that’s the hole thing.”
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The hole thing? Really! Smiles!
Yeah, I know, I know, making fun of a grave situation 😉