“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”
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Exit signs may well be on the way out, but thankfully a bit of word play isn’t.
Welcome to pun day.
Enjoy or endure!
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Isn’t it odd that the word “sneaky”
doesn’t have some silent letters in it?
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Every time the fishmonger lost his knife it always
turned up in the last plaice he looked.
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Bill: “I think my decision to become a vegetarian
was definitely a missed steak.”
Ted: “I couldn’t agree more.
Perhaps we’ll meat again some day.”
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You know, when you think about it,
velcro is a rip off.
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Did you hear about the new porn search engine?
It’s called “go ogle”.
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I had my paper ripped up in front of me
and was thrown out of my Xerox Engineers’ exam today.
One of the invigilators caught me not copying.
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I’ve broken a few hearts in my day,
which turned out to be a good thing.
It made me realize that being a
cardiologist just wasn’t my thing.
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Psychologists say that the left half of the brain
is responsible for kleptomania and numeracy.
So it really is the taking part that counts
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A gold nugget walks into a bar.
The bartender says, “A U get the hell outta here”
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Did you hear about the contortionist
who got arrested for indecent exposure.
He’s worried he’ll have it hanging over
his head for the rest of his life.
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There was a knock on my door and when
I opened it a pollster was outside.
She said, “Do you like tents?”
“No,” I replied. “Why?”
“Well,” she said. “We’re canvassing the whole area.”
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I’ve just seen some new door bells in the
January sales at prices you just can’t knock.
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My friend was telling me that this Christmas just passed,
his girlfriend got naked, covered herself in wrapping paper,
and waited for him on his bed.
What a great way to present yourself.
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My wife said I needed to bond with my son.
So I had him make me a martini, shaken, not stirred.
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One of our friends has been dressing up as ‘Wolverine’
every day for the last week and we’re getting a bit worried about him.
I asked him if he thought he really was ‘Wolverine’.
“Nah.” he said. “It’s just a huge act, man”.
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fasab 
The ‘go ogle’ cartoon made me laugh! I wonder how many people end up in the wrong place because of that little mix-up. I’m too chicken otherwise I’d try 😉
I think you got the best of the bunch there. 🙂
😀
Just heard a great saying–I think its been out there: “The grass is always greener over the septic tank.” I thought it was funny. 🙂
Funny and probably true as well 🙂
Couple of chuckles there & a couple I had to read over more than once to get them!
I know, some are a bit more obscure than others 🙂