Exit Signs Are On The Way Out!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”


Exit signs may well be on the way out, but thankfully a bit of word play isn’t.

Welcome to pun day.

Enjoy or endure!




Isn’t it odd that the word “sneaky”

doesn’t have some silent letters in it?




Every time the fishmonger lost his knife it always

turned up in the last plaice he looked.




Bill: “I think my decision to become a vegetarian

was definitely a missed steak.”

Ted: “I couldn’t agree more.

Perhaps we’ll meat again some day.”




You know, when you think about it,

velcro is a rip off.




Did you hear about the new porn search engine?

It’s called “go ogle”.




I had my paper ripped up in front of me

and was thrown out of my Xerox Engineers’ exam today.

One of the invigilators caught me not copying.




I’ve broken a few hearts in my day,

which turned out to be a good thing.

It made me realize that being a

cardiologist just wasn’t my thing.




Psychologists say that the left half of the brain

is responsible for kleptomania and numeracy.

So it really is the taking part that counts




A gold nugget walks into a bar.

The bartender says, “A U get the hell outta here”




Did you hear about the contortionist

who got arrested for indecent exposure.

He’s worried he’ll have it hanging over

his head for the rest of his life.




There was a knock on my door and when

I opened it a pollster was outside.

She said, “Do you like tents?”

“No,” I replied. “Why?”

“Well,” she said. “We’re canvassing the whole area.”




I’ve just seen some new door bells in the

January sales at prices you just can’t knock.




My friend was telling me that this Christmas just passed,

his girlfriend got naked, covered herself in wrapping paper,

and waited for him on his bed.

What a great way to present yourself.

Woman wrapping paper



My wife said I needed to bond with my son.

So I had him make me a martini, shaken, not stirred.




One of our friends has been dressing up as ‘Wolverine’

every day for the last week and we’re getting a bit worried about him.

I asked him if he thought he really was ‘Wolverine’.

“Nah.” he said. “It’s just a huge act, man”.





7 thoughts on “Exit Signs Are On The Way Out!

  1. The ‘go ogle’ cartoon made me laugh! I wonder how many people end up in the wrong place because of that little mix-up. I’m too chicken otherwise I’d try 😉

  2. Just heard a great saying–I think its been out there: “The grass is always greener over the septic tank.” I thought it was funny. 🙂

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