“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”
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Pun day!
Twenty more examples of word play to make you smile or groan, or maybe even both.
Enjoy!
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No matter how hard I try, I simply can’t figure out
what’s the opposite of ironing.
It’s depressing.
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What’s the difference between mountains and hills?
Mountains tend to get high, but hills are less inclined
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After criticizing yet another outfit, my wife said she
was going to leave me due to my poor dress sense.
“Please baby” I pleaded. “I can change.”
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Doctor Who started working for our road repair company today,
his first job was to fill in potholes.
“Tardis”, I told him.
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Pepperami..
What Sgt Pepper served in.
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Did you hear about the guy who was so stupid
that when they gave him enough rope,
he shot himself.
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The blow hard bloke next door says his car is more powerful than mine
and that he would easily beat me in a race.
He’s all torque.
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I’ve been caught up in a race row.
I don’t care what he says, I won fair and square.
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People often tell me I have very little patience.
But that’s probably because I’m a doctor specializing in dwarfism.
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A friend of mine accused me of plagiarism.
I didn’t know what that meant, but I took his word.
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I saw that the latest remake of the Dukes of Hazzard includes
a scene where Bo and Luke install a talking car alarm.
I’m not sure that’s going to go down well,
General Lee speaking.
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The wife used to work on a maternity ward.
It was labor-intensive.
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My new neighbor works in a board game factory.
His job is to take small wooden cubes and engrave them.
I don’t like him…
He’s dot a dice person.
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I stopped at a hotel last night called
“The good, the bad, and the ugly.”
It was a Best Western.
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I once met a really stupid bloke on a Greek island.
He was a Cretan.
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At an awards dinner last night,
I just finished enjoying some middle eastern dip
when I was called up to accept my award.
It was post hummus.
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A few weeks ago, 1,400 people were killed in Syria by a chemical attack.
It almost became Obama’s road to Degasmasks.
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I can never wear my lucky golf socks again.
I got a hole in one.
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And since we are almost at the end of today’s post,
I have to announce that unfortunately tonight’s
Self Harmers Anonymous group
has been cancelled due to staff cuts.
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An African lady called Betty came into my restaurant
and asked “Is there any chicken on the menu?”
I replied “No black Betty, it’s ham or lamb.”
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fasab 
Actually, the gas attack DID become Israel’s road to Degasmasks, as they’ve been handing them out ever since. What a cool country – you have to serve in the military, you have a wonderful climate, there’s ALWAYS a banker or lawyer around, and they shoot off fireworks every night! (Yeah, I always wanted to be banned by the Israeli government. This should do it! 😀 )
And if you were caught in a race row, shouldn’t you have posted a picture of a boat? (Yeah, I know, they’re pronounced differently. I speak both American AND British! 😉 )
Hmmm, I guess you just had to stick your oar in 🙂
I prefer ping pong to rowing, though I have a recurring neck injury. So either way, I get stuck up a crick without a paddle. 😉
(“Row, row, row your boat/ Underneath the stream./ Ha, ha, I fooled you/ I’m a submarine!”)
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ….. It’s Friday and these aren’t supposed to be here!
LOL Welcome back to Punsville!
Another great bunch!
Thanks again, glad you enjoyed them.