I’m Beginning To Feel I’m Bean Stalked!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Yes, it’s pun day, the day we all love  –  well most of us do anyway.

Enjoy this latest selection!

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When does a cow make the most noise?

When she’s feeling moooooody!

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I recently found a round, black piece of plastic, with

a hole in the middle and grooves on both sides.

I picked it up and threw it.

It flew for more than 300 yards.

I’m sure that must have been a record.

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There was a ghost at the hotel,

so they called for an inn spectre.

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Me and my friends are in a band called Duvet.

We’re a cover band.

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Messing with your computer’s memory chip

can have lasting RAMifications

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My girlfriend got sacked from work and then lost her appeal.

I only found her appealing because she had a well paid job.

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This one is just messed up.

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I sell balloons for 10p each or if you want them blown up it’s 15p.

I’ve adjusted the price to allow for inflation.

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A picture may be worth a thousand words,

but it uses up three thousand times the memory.

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I lost my mood ring.

I don’t know how I feel about this.

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I beat my wife up this morning.

She got up at 7.30, I was up at 7.

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Why did I divide sin by tan?

Just cos.

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With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.

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I was recently asked about my views on euthanasia.

I said they all look the same to me.

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Nostalgia.

It’s not what it used to be.

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I just received an envelope marked – Photographs Do Not Bend.

The Mailman has, however, proven that they do.

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I fell on my arm and had to have an operation on my funny bone.

I was in stitches for two weeks.

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I’ve just got my son a flat piece of cardboard for Christmas.

Although what he wants with an ex box I’ll never know.

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A man goes home to his wife and shows her his

latest tattoo of a spreadsheet on his chest.

“You’ve really Excelled yourself this time!” she says.

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When a hospital runs out of maternity nurses

do they have a mid-wife crisis?

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