Can You Believe It? I’ve Run Out Of Puns!!!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Okay, wipe that smirk off your faces.

Of course I haven’t run out of puns. Whoever would believe such a thing.

And just to prove it, here are some more.

Enjoy, I know you will.

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I ate the burger with relish.

Relish_LargeLogo

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Q: Why did Mozart kill all his chickens ?

A: Because all they would say was ” Bach , Bach ………Bach , Bach”

bachbachbach

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You say that this beverage is non-alcoholic.

But where is the proof?

non alcoholic drink

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The best vitamin for making friends is B-1.

vitamin-b1

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When they said I was mad I went out and got drunk.

I guess it was a choice between having a bottle in front of me

or a frontal lobotomy.

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy

.

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When the artist tried to draw a cube he had a mental block.

mentalBlock

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Coffee is for mugs

coffee mug

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Just been on bigbustycoons.com

Damn, those guys have really good bus companies.

bus companies

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My wife shouted upstairs, “The sun’s just come out.”

I thought great, threw on some shorts and

flip flops and shot down the stairs.

I was rather shocked when I got down to find

our lad holding hands with his mate Michael.

out of the closet

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There’s no denying it, Rap is 75% Crap

rap crap

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I just saw an advert for the new film: ‘The Hole – Now in 3D!’

Well, surely it has to be in 3D otherwise it’s just a circle.

3d_hole

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You invented White Out didn’t you?

Correct me If I’m wrong….

whiteout

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A lot of stupid people who don’t keep up with current

affairs still don’t know who Kim Jong Un is.

Duhhh, she is the leader of North Korea.

KimJongUnasWoman

.

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An unnamed weatherman has reacted angrily to being

sacked because he always gives cold gloomy forecasts.

So I guess it’s no more mist and ice guy.

weatherman

.

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Q. What makes a riot?

A. Three dyslexics.

dyslexia

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A colleague just burst into my office

while I was busy working

and demanded to know what an

electrical synapse in the human body was.

The nerve.

neuron

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Did you hear about the guy who got his thrills

by shoving resistors up his bottom.

He definitely sounds like an Ohmosexual to me.

ohm and resistance symbol

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My internet bride got delivered today.

She’s the WiFi always dreamed of.

WiFi Bride

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If you were lost in fog, would you be mist?

lost in fog

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Finally some news from this week on the stock market.

Helium was up, but feathers were down.

Paper was stationary, but pencils lost a few points.

Elevators rose but escalators continued their slow decline.

Switches were off and mining equipment hit rock bottom.

The raisin market has dried up.

Pampers remained unchanged while Sun peaked at mid-day.

Andrex tissues touched a new bottom.

stock_market

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