“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”
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Another short selection of punny jokes today.
Strong language warning on one of them for those likely to be offended by such things.
Enjoy!
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What banned weapon can you use to kill slugs?
A salt rifle.
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If you owned a secret, underground fajita shop, would you keep it under wraps?
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I dated a girl from the Phillippines, she was a contortionist.
I called her my ‘Manila folder’
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I couldn’t understand why my mobile’s battery always seems to be flat.
Then I realized had it been any other shape, it wouldn’t fit in my phone.
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I knew a man who killed himself with a cyanide capsule.
That was a bitter pill to swallow.
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Some people think animal puns are not funny in any neigh, sheep or farm.
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I hate puns about perforated things – they’re tearable.
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You would think that these herbs & spices puns would have died out by now.
But no, they just keep on Cumin.
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Paddy goes into a hardware store & asks to buy a sink.
“Would you like one with a plug?” says the assistant.
Paddy replies, “Don’t tell me they’ve gone electric!”
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Woman goes into a butcher’s…
“I’d like an oxtail please”.
“Certainly”, replies the butcher,
“Once upon a time there was an ox…”
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One day I phoned with the spiritual leader of Tibet.
He sent me a large goat with a long neck.
Turns out I phoned Dial- a- llama.
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Coffee isn’t my cup of tea.
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I took my wife to the doctor yesterday, he examined her and said, “I’ll be perfectly honest… I don’t like the look of her.”
“Yeah, I know what you mean,” I said, “but she’s a good cook and the kids think the world of her!”
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I bought a Valentine’s Day card for everyone at our local Tourette’s Society.
It’s the thought that cunts.
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“Doc, I can’t stop singing ‘The Green, Green Grass of Home.’’
“That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome.”
“Is it common?”
“Well, it’s not unusual.”
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fasab 
With some of my friends if they make a statement, “Can you tell me?” I’ll say sure, “Once upon a time in a far, far land…
🙂
Punny jokes, indeed. Thanks for the Tom Jones videos – I remember the young Tom Jones! Where did the years go? What fun!
Always liked Tom Jones, great voice. Thanks for the comment.
Not your best crop – & because of the “c” word I won’t be giving you a like either. But please keep them coming!
Well, at least I did warn you.
Yes you did & thank you for that.
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