“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”
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One would hope that libraries, being depositories of knowledge, would be a place relatively safe from the intellectually challenged.
Sadly, stupid people invade every space, libraries included.
To prove the point here is a short selection of actual stupid questions asked of librarians.
Enjoy.
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“Do you have books here?”
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“Do you have a list of all the books written in the English language?”
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“Do you have a list of all the books I’ve ever read?”
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“I’m looking for Robert James Waller’s book, ‘Waltzing through Grand Rapids.”
(The actual title is “Slow Waltz In Cedar Bend.”)
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“Where is the reference desk?”
(Asked of a worker sitting at a desk, over which was a sign saying ‘REFERENCE DESK’.)
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“Can you tell me why so many famous Civil War battles were fought on National Park sites?”
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“Which outlets in the library are appropriate for my hairdryer?”
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“I was here about three weeks ago looking at a cookbook that cost $39.95. Do you know which one it is?”
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“I need a color photograph of George Washington.”
(Other individuals asked for, by other patrons, are Christopher Columbus, King Arthur, Moses, Socrates, and more.)
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“Do you have any books with photographs of dinosaurs?”
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“I’m looking for information on carpal tunnel syndrome. I think I’m having trouble with it in my neck.”
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“Is the basement upstairs?”
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“I am looking for a list of laws that I can break that would send me back to jail for a couple of months.”
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“I got a quote from a book I turned in last week but I forgot to write down the author and title. It’s big and red, and I found it on the top shelf. Can you find it for me?”
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“Do you have anything good to read?”
The response was,
“No, ma’am. I’m afraid we have 75,000 books, and they’re all duds.”
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Dumbass: “I am looking for a globe of the earth.”
Librarian: “We have a table-top model over here.”
Dumbass: “No, that’s not good enough. Don’t you have a life-size?”
Librarian: (pause) “Yes, but it’s in use right now.”
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And finally a joke.
Man goes up to the library reference desk and asks the assistant,
“Do you have a copy of that new book for men with small penises?”
The librarian replies,
“I don’t think it’s in yet.”
“Yes,” the man says. “That’s the one!”
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fasab 
“I am looking for a list of laws that I can break that would send me back to jail for a couple of months.”
Made me chuckle
Beats paying rent I suppose.
And we thought only smart people went to the library. Hairdryer is the winner for me.
Good choice. It’s scary how clueless some people are whether they are in libraries or elsewhere.
I used to talk to a lady at the reference desk at a public library; the tales she told.
I can well believe it 🙂
Hope you’re saving all your pennies – you owe me a screen wash on my laptop from when I spit out my coffee!
Oh dear! Maybe I need a disclaimer with every post just in case.
Oh, this is sad! I thought only more enlightened people went to the library – how stupid of me! Excellent post! Love the search engine. I feel old…
Don’t feel old, feel superior!