Say What You Want, You Really Like ‘Em

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Yes, some of you pretend not to, but come on, admit it, I know you really like these awful jokes dressed up as puns and word plays.

Here’s another lot for you to pretend to hate!

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Bill used to date an English teacher, but she dumped him.

She didn’t approve of his improper use of the colon.

Colon

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What’s better than seeing a woman wrestle?

Seeing her box.

Two Wrestling Women

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I had an appointment at the sperm bank today, but I had to call up to say I couldn’t come.

sperm bank

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I asked a pretty, young, homeless woman if I could take her home, and she said yes with a big smile.

The look on her face soon changed when I walked off with her cardboard box.

homeless-condo

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I had a crazy dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram.

I was like, 0mg!

omg

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My girlfriend just said to me, “Did you know, butterflies only live for two days?”

I said, “Honey, I think that’s a myth.”

She said, “No, it’s definitely a butterfly.”

cartoon_butterfly

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I think jokes about fat people are horrible.

Don’t you think they have enough on their plate?

I beat anorexia

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I shot someone with a starting gun.

I’ve been charged with race crimes

starting pistol

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I got an e-mail saying ‘At Google Earth we can read maps backwards!’

I thought, “That’s just spam.”

spam

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Capitalization is the difference between

“I helped my uncle Jack off a horse,”

and

“I helped my uncle jack off a horse.”

capitalization

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Call it a hunch, but I’m pretty sure I have an abnormal convex curvature of the upper spine.

hunch-back

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My brother came out of the closet today.

I knew I should have used a better lock.

out of the closet

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The other day I saw a man playing Dancing Queen on the Didgeridoo.

I thought, that’s Aboriginal.

Abba cartoon

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7 thoughts on “Say What You Want, You Really Like ‘Em

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