It’s Another Word Play Day, So Time For Some More Puns

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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A few more bad jokes wrapped up as puns. I am slightly amazed, but also pleased, that the puns have been received so well by most readers. So it wasn’t only me!  

Enjoy.

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Lightning sometimes shocks people because it just doesn’t know how to conduct itself.

 

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When the cannibal showed up late to the luncheon, they gave him the cold shoulder.      

 

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The experienced carpenter really nailed it, but the new guy screwed everything up.

 

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The one who invented the door knocker got a No-bell prize.       

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Greengrocers earn a meager celery, come home beet and just want to read the pepper, take a leek, turnip the covers endive into bed.

 

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A noun and a verb were dating but they broke up because the noun was too possessive.

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I didn’t want to buy leather shoes, but eventually I was suede.

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For plumbers, a flush beats a full house.           

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A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months. 

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I just got my permit to harvest shrimp in the Antarctic. Now I have a licence to Krill.

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I don’t think I need a spine. It’s holding me back.           

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What did the triangle say to the circle? You’re so pointless.

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Old colanders never die, they just can’t take the strain anymore.

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I probably have blind spots, but I don’t see them.

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After winter, the trees are relieved.

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Calves take well to bottle feeding because one nipple is as good as an udder.

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The shareholders of a compass manufacturer were concerned that the company wasn’t heading in the right direction.

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I’m bad at math, so the equation 2n+2n is 4n to me.

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The lights were too bright at the Chinese restaurant so the manager decided to dim sum.

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The proctologist reassured the patient that his condition could be rectified.

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11 thoughts on “It’s Another Word Play Day, So Time For Some More Puns

  1. Then there was the baker, who quit because he didn’t make enough dough.
    Or to quote the immortal Three Stooges: “Oh, see the deer. Has the deer a little doe?” “Yeah, two bucks! Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.” 😀

    • Little boy comes running into his parents bedroom one stormy Christmas eve night.
      “Mummy, mummy I can hear Santa on the roof!”
      “Don’t be silly,” Mummy replied. “It’s just the rain dear.”
      🙂

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