I Suppose I Should Be Doing These On A Punday Not A Thursday

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

 .

I got an email recently from Paul Ryan (well, probably one of his little helpers) inviting me to some kind of election shin-dig they were having. How he got my email address I don’t know because I haven’t signed up for anything even resembling political.

Whoever wins, we get the same people really in charge. There can be no doubt about that after Obama’s four years of “no we can’t” and changing nothing of consequence.

And then there was the debate in Denver. By all accounts a win for Romney and a lackluster performance by Obama. A CBS News poll of “uncommitted voters”, gave Romney 46% as opposed to 22% for Obama (with 32% calling it a tie).

Not that performance in debates count for much in the long run, but this one has made an “unshakable” lead for Obama into a much closer competition – until the next debate anyway – which might turn what has been a relatively dull campaign into something more exciting. Don’t hold your breath, though.

 

Meantime we have much more important things to investigate and to lighten the mood.

Yes, from pundit to punday, another excuse for more bad jokes, using the clever ploy of the pun.

Can you take it?

If you can, then enjoy.

 

 

You feel stuck with your debt if you can’t budge it.

 

 

Is the Local Area Network in Australia – the LAN down under?

 

 

Every calendar’s days are numbered.

 

 

A lot of money is tainted – taint yours and taint mine.

 

 

A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

 

 

He had a photographic memory that was never developed.

 

 

Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.

 

 

Are Santa’s helpers subordinate clauses?

 

 

Acupuncture is a jab well done.

 

 

Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I’ll show you A-flat minor.

 

 

Seven days without a pun makes one weak.

 

 

When the actress saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she’d dye.

 

 

When a scientist was doing a large experiment with liquid chemicals to try to solve a problem he accidentally fell in and became part of the solution.

 

 

If you leave alphabet soup on the stove and go out, could it spell disaster?

 

 

After they bought a water bed, the couple started to drift apart.

 

 

To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

 

 

The best way to communicate with a fish is to drop them a line.

 

 

Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat.

 

 

Rabbits like their beer brewed with a lot of hops.

 

 

Once you’ve seen one shopping center, you’ve seen a mall.

 

 

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17 thoughts on “I Suppose I Should Be Doing These On A Punday Not A Thursday

  1. I have to honestly say that most of these puns are new to me … so hey … great finds … or is it groans?

    As far as the debate, I didn’t watch … surprising for a political pundit as myself, …. so … and no offense … I will rely on my research through the fact checkers.

  2. Not sure if you’ve used (or heard of) this one: “He’s got a mind like a steep trap – rusted shut.”
    A friend and I did something along the lines of the “drifting apart” thing – we were filling a couple’s waterbed, got to BSing, forgot to check for a while and came back to a pregnant waterbed – the thing was over 3 feet tall in the middle! OOPS! 😀
    Maybe someday I’ll tell you of my adventures with April 31st. (Yes, that is NOT a mis-type. 😉 )

      • Believe it or not, I actually got into a just-short-of yelling match with a reservations clerk, until dawn finally broke through my thick skull. She kept telling me I couldn’t book a flight on the 31st of April, and I couldn’t figure out why, because my calendar clearly showed an April 31st! Fortunately, once I explained the problem, she got a good laugh out of it, and graciously accepted my profuse apologies.
        Moral? Check the accuracy of a small-run privately-produced calendar BEFORE using it to book flights! 😀

        • Great 🙂
          I’ve always thought that it would be a good idea if on leap years we all got an extra day and could use it whenever we needed to instead of at the end of Feby. Maybe you were way ahead of me!

      • I’ve seen pranks like that. Ours was unintentional, we just weren’t paying attention. Of course, this one had to have an anti-backflow valve, so we had to keep the valve open (like deflating a beachball, by partially collapsing the output tube) while also moving the hose around outside the window, to hide all the water. We eventually broke down and told the couple, and they forgave us. Last I knew, that same mattress had lasted over 2 decades, so it must’ve been good stuff! 😀

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