“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”
Yesterday’s post was about how a few idiots had met their demise, or failed to, when they attempted to kill themselves. Today the theme is continued with another curious case, but one of the accidental variety.
I must say this was a new one to me. Just when you think you’ve heard of everything something new and unexpected turns up. This time it turned up in Thailand.
“The government must crack down on this disgusting craze of ‘Pumping'”, a spokesman for the Nakhon Ratchasima hospital told reporters. “If this perversion catches on, it will destroy the cream of Thailand’s manhood.”
He was speaking after the remains of 13 year-old Charnchai Puanmuangpak had been rushed into the hospital’s emergency room.
“Most ‘Pumpers’ use a standard bicycle pump,” he explained, “inserting the nozzle far up their rectum, giving themselves a rush of air, creating a momentary high. This act is a sin against God.”
It appears that the young Charnchai took it further still.
He started using a two-cylinder foot pump, but even that wasn’t exciting enough for him, so he boasted to friends that he was going to try the compressed air hose at a nearby gasoline station.
They dared him to do it, so, under cover of darkness, he snuck in.
Not realizing how powerful the machine was, he inserted the tube deep into his rectum, and placed a coin in the slot (of the machine, I think).
As a result, he died virtually instantly, leaving passers-by still in shock.
One woman thought she was watching a twilight fireworks display, and started clapping.
“We still haven’t located all of him”, say the police authorities. “When that quantity of air interacted with the gas in his system, he nearly exploded. It was like an atom bomb went off or something.”
“Pumping is the devil’s pastime, and we must all say no to Satan,” Ratchasima concluded. “Inflate your tires by all means, but then hide your bicycle pump where it cannot tempt you.”