Beware, Idiots At Work!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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This is a short selection of stories taken from the internet. I have no idea whether they are true or not, but they are amusing, and as we know, stranger things have happened.

Enjoy.

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We had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us that one of our problem was that we did not have a ‘large’ enough motor on the opener.

I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower.

He shook his head and said, ‘Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.’

I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4.

He said, ‘NO, it’s not. Four is larger than two…’

We haven’t used Sears repair since.

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My daughter and I went through the McDonald’s take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter.

She said, ‘You gave me too much money.’

I said, ‘Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back.’

She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request.

I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said ‘We’re sorry but we cannot do that kind of thing.’

The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change.

Do not confuse the clerks at McD’s.

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I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road.

The reason: ‘Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don’t think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.’

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My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for ‘minimal lettuce.’

He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce.

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I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, ‘Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?’

To which I replied, ‘If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?’

He smiled knowingly and nodded, ‘That’s why we ask.’

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The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it’s safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine.

She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for.

I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.

Appalled, she responded, ‘What on earth are blind people doing driving?!’

She was a probation officer in Wichita , KS

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At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker. She was leaving the company due to ‘downsizing.’

Our manager commented cheerfully, ‘This is fun. We should do this more often.’

Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the- headlights stare.

This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.

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I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the sake of her life, couldn’t understand why her system would not turn on.

A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs office, no less.

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When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it.

We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver side door.

As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked.

‘Hey,’ I announced to the technician, ‘Its open!’

His reply, ‘I know. I already got that side.’

This was at the Ford dealership in Canton , MS.

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And finally!!

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When I left Hawaii and was transferred to Florida I still had the Hawaiian plates on my car, as my car was shipped from Hawaii .

I was parking somewhere (I can’t remember) and a guy asked me “Wow, you drove from Hawaii to here?”

I looked at him and quickly said “Yep. I took the Hawaii/San Francisco Bridge”.

He nodded his head and said “Cool!”

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10 thoughts on “Beware, Idiots At Work!

  1. I want to take the Hawaii to Florida bridge! How cool would that be. I bet if the Jan Brewer knew about it she would build a wall with razor wire on top, Rick Perry would help!

    I loved these, thanks.

  2. Reporting as ordered by Herr Frank over at AFrankAngle.
    I’ll give you one from my dad’s days working as a telephone installer. A woman reported trouble with a telephone in her house (back in the day when the Bell System took care of your handsets). My dad arrived, went to the phone, picked it up, and it dripped water.
    Water?
    My father asked why the phone was dripping. The woman stated that the pamphlet that came with it said it should be washed off occasionally, so she threw it into the sink after washing her dishes, and let it soak for HOURS.
    Ya gotta give Western Electric credit – the phone worked fine after it was dried off.
    And then there were the protests following activation of the 911 system in Chicago, when people couldn’t find the number “11” on their phone dial……. 😀

    • Hey John, Frank mentioned that you might call in.
      Great to have you on board and thanks for your comment/contribution.
      Hope you enjoy the blog. Feel free to plunder the archives any time.

  3. These are great, but – ok – confession time. I once rang my mother from my cell and asked if I’d left my phone there because her’s was the last place I’d been and I can’t seem to find my phone. The silence on the other end of the line was deafening….

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