“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”
It happened on 12th December 1998, in Quebec, Canada.
Kevin Mackle, a 19-year-old student, who had been celebrating the end of final exams with friends, managed to kill himself at Bishop’s University while shaking a 420-kilogram Coke machine.
He died beneath the soda machine, asphyxiated, with a blood alcohol level slightly over the legal driving limit.
His last act was committed in vain. “Even as it fell over, the vending machine did not let out a single can,” the coroner reported.
Soda-holics, and particularly stupid ones, take note! The report also states that toppled vending machines have caused at least 35 deaths and 140 injuries in the last twenty years.
Mackle’s family questioned the official version of events, and sued Coca-Cola, two related companies, and Bishop’s University for “gross carelessness.” They even suggested several reasons why Kevin’s death was not his own fault. Shaking coke machines “was common practice at the University.” Furthermore they speculate that unknown persons might have crushed Kevin with the vending machine in a bizarre murder, as it “would be difficult for one person to move” the Coke machine.
As is sadly always the case, in response the company has been forced to add an idiot warning label to their machines. A spokesperson for Coke said that Canadian machines are now labeled with a warning that “tipping or rocking may cause injury or death.” They have also installed anti-theft devices in newer models to keep people from obtaining free drinks.