“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”
.
Exit signs may well be on the way out, but thankfully a bit of word play isn’t.
Welcome to pun day.
Enjoy or endure!
.
.
Isn’t it odd that the word “sneaky”
doesn’t have some silent letters in it?
.
.
Every time the fishmonger lost his knife it always
turned up in the last plaice he looked.
.
.
Bill: “I think my decision to become a vegetarian
was definitely a missed steak.”
Ted: “I couldn’t agree more.
Perhaps we’ll meat again some day.”
.
.
You know, when you think about it,
velcro is a rip off.
.
.
Did you hear about the new porn search engine?
It’s called “go ogle”.
.
.
I had my paper ripped up in front of me
and was thrown out of my Xerox Engineers’ exam today.
One of the invigilators caught me not copying.
.
.
I’ve broken a few hearts in my day,
which turned out to be a good thing.
It made me realize that being a
cardiologist just wasn’t my thing.
.
.
Psychologists say that the left half of the brain
is responsible for kleptomania and numeracy.
So it really is the taking part that counts
.
.
A gold nugget walks into a bar.
The bartender says, “A U get the hell outta here”
.
.
Did you hear about the contortionist
who got arrested for indecent exposure.
He’s worried he’ll have it hanging over
his head for the rest of his life.
.
.
There was a knock on my door and when
I opened it a pollster was outside.
She said, “Do you like tents?”
“No,” I replied. “Why?”
“Well,” she said. “We’re canvassing the whole area.”
.
.
I’ve just seen some new door bells in the
January sales at prices you just can’t knock.
.
.
My friend was telling me that this Christmas just passed,
his girlfriend got naked, covered herself in wrapping paper,
and waited for him on his bed.
What a great way to present yourself.
.
.
My wife said I needed to bond with my son.
So I had him make me a martini, shaken, not stirred.
.
.
One of our friends has been dressing up as ‘Wolverine’
every day for the last week and we’re getting a bit worried about him.
I asked him if he thought he really was ‘Wolverine’.
“Nah.” he said. “It’s just a huge act, man”.
.
=======================================
.
fasab 