Posts Tagged ‘television’

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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A slight break from the usual today.

Never one to hide from controversy, I want to open up a discussion on a subject that has over the years been debated intensely but never proved conclusively.

Let me set the scene.

Peter Falk as Columbo

One of the most enduring characters on television has to be Lieut. Columbo, the short, disheveled, cheap cigar smoking, eccentric detective of that name, who by persistence, dogged investigation of the clues and a deceptive intelligence, always managed to get his man, or his woman.

Now I know you could have driven Columbo’s beat up Peugeot through some of the holes in the plot lines, but that aside, Peter Falk’s unique interpretation and portrayal of the character always made for enjoyable TV watching. Even the repeats, of which there have been many over the past three decades or so.

Columbo's old battered Peugeot cabriolet

There’s no argument, or there shouldn’t be, as to Falk’s acting ability. Although known by a lot of people only as Columbo, he also played many other roles both on the big screen and on television.

But Falk also had a disability. He lost an eye due to a childhood disease and as a result for most of his life he wore a glass eye.

And that gets us to the great debate I was telling you about in the intro to this post.

In the Columbo series, there is nothing in the scripts that indicates that Lieut. Columbo had been injured as a policeman or in an accident.

So the big question is, as Lieut. Columbo, was Falk’s glass eye a glass eye, or was it a glass eye playing the part of a real eye?

glass eye

I used to think that we were the only people whose minds were warped enough to think up a question like this, but apparently others have been asking the same question and I have even on one occasion heard the subject mentioned on TV.

So what is the answer?

Do you know, or do you have an opinion one way or the other?

If you have, please let me know. There are already far too many uncertainties in the world at the moment. One less would help things along greatly!

Thanks.

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“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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I remember on this day last year starting out with great intentions of doing a Star Wars based post in tribute the day that has become known to many as ‘Star Wars Day’ because of the pun on the memorable phrase coined in the movie series “May the force be with you”.

Unfortunately I failed miserably last year because the post ended up as one about a guy who had built himself a really cool looking laser gun based on the phasers from Star Trek, not Star Wars. (Here’s the link if you missed it –  click here)

So time to make amends.

may the 4th be with you

Taken together the Star Wars series of movies has to be one of the most watched and highest grossing ever in the history of the cinema, if not THE greatest. The original 1977 movie itself has been estimated to have taken $2,710,800,000 in today’s inflation adjusted terms.

On top of that it has spawned a plethora of merchandising material from t-shirts to robots to gadgets to almost everything that could be seen in the movies themselves, and then some!

Top of everyone’s list has to be a lightsabre – I have never met anyone who has seen Star Wars who didn’t want to be the proud owner of a light sabre, including me.

From the first time you saw the flash of light and heard that ‘hummm’, way back in 1977, in Obi-Wan Kenobi’s bungalow, even though you didn’t really know what it was, you still knew you wanted one – needed one!

Well for a bit north of $100 now you can own one, the Star Wars Force FX Lightsaber! It has the light, it has the sound, and it looks the part – well almost.

lightsaber_extended

From the sublime, however, we also have the ridiculous.

Somewhere out there is that great Universe you just know that at least one moron has subjected their poor dog to the indignity of a Star Wars suit. Poor mutt, even the look on its face says it all.

star-wars-at-at-dog-costume

And there are lots of other stuff in between, including these

145560_f520

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  star-wars-chopsticks

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 Star-Wars-themed-Evian-bottles

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star-wars-watch_12

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star-wars-gadgets-mods-darth-vader-clock-2

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r2-code

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sony_dev-5k

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lego-stars-wars-table-soccer

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lego-star-wars-chess-set

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han-solo-desk-2

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Finally, an interesting little piece of trivia that would just as easily have taken its place in one of my ‘Did you know factoids’. 

Star Wars fans were not the first to introduce the line “May the fourth be with you”. When the recently deceased Margaret Thatcher was elected Britain’s first female Prime Minister on May 4, 1979, her party placed an advertisement in The London Evening News that said “May the Fourth Be with You, Maggie. Congratulations.” This reading of the line has also been recorded in the UK Parliament’s Hansard.

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“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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I thought we were coming to an end of these, but it seems there are still a few more intellectual gems to be discovered.

Have a look at this latest selection from the quiz show contestants who should have stayed at home.

Enjoy.

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Q:  In botany, what is the scientific term for a plant that lives for more than two years?

A:  A tree

Yosemite NP - Giant Sequoia - California Tree

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Q:  What “E” is the world’s highest mountain?

A:  Everglades

everglades-np

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Q:  George Bernard Shaw called this condition “the greatest of evils and the worst of crimes.”

A:  What is marriage?

marriage-cartoon

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Q:  Name a country in South America

A:  Africa

A:  Rio De Janeiro

A:  Spain

A:  Fiji

A:  Armenia

A:  Saudi Arabia

south-america

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Q:  Name something you squeeze

A:  Peanut butter

peanut-butter

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Q:  Name a planet you recognize just by looking at a picture of it

A:  The Moon

moon

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Q:  Name something you often misplace in your car

A:  Steering wheel

steering wheel

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Q:  Besides an airplane, name something man-made that flies

A:  A jet

cartoon jet

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Q:  Name something that doesn’t work without water

A:  Ice cream cone

icecream_cone.

 

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Q:  Name a noisy bird

A:  Chipmunk

chipmunk

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Q:  Name something a duck and a chicken have in common

A:  They quack

quack s doodle doo

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Q:  Name a happy occasion where you feel a little let down when it’s over

A:  Funeral

Cartoon funeral

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Q:  Name a male dancer

A:  Betty Grable

betty-grable-jukebox-75

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Q:  The birthday that men dread the most

A:  Their wife’s

wife's birthday

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Q:  Name a children’s story about an animal

A:  David and Goliath

David Goliath cartoon

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Q:  Something that’s murder to clean up when you spill it           

A:  Blood

blood_spill1

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Q:  Name a measurement of time

A:  Watch

hourglass

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Q:  Something associated with Cuba

A:  It’s in South America

cuban-cigar

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Q:  Name a movie with the word “King” in it

A:  King Dracula

dracula

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“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Regrettably I think we are coming close to end of my supply of stupid quiz show answers. It has been a good series and actually lasted a lot longer than I first thought. And some of them have been very amusing as well. All in all it has been well received.

I’ll call this the penultimate selection. It may contain some repeats, but they made me laugh when I read them again and if they do that then I hope they may do the same for you too.

Enjoy.

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Q. What “U” are the Eastern Europeans who originated the tradition of painting Easter eggs?

A.  Yugoslavians

set-of-painted-easter-eggs

Q.  What “S” is the nearest star to the earth?      

A.  Saturn

Q.  Name a drink you recognize by its smell      

A.  Potatoes

potato-pete

Q.  Something a husband and wife should have separate of       

A.  Parents

Q.  Name a hobby people take up for the thrills involved

A.  Stamp collecting

stamp collector dilemma

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Q.  Name a word that starts with the letter Q      

A.  Cute

Q.  Name a signer of the Declaration of Independence   

A.  Thomas Edison

Edison

Q.  Something that lets a burglar know that a house is unoccupied         

A.  No people in the house

Q.  Like “sugar bowl”, a bowl that’s named for the substance it contains

A.  Toilet bowl

toilet bowl

Q.  Name a fictional island        

A.  Rhode Island

Q. Name one of Santa’s reindeer

A.  Nixon

cool-cartoon-santa-and-reindeer

Q.  Name a beverage you stir before drinking    

A.  Water

Q.  Name the heaviest item in your house

A.  600 pounds

woman-on-scale

Q.  Something starting with “egg”          

A.  Excellent

A.  Eggland

Q.  Name an actor who played a gangster

A.  Al Capone

al copone

Q.  Name a character from the movie Aladdin    

A.  Jihad

Q.  Name something with claws 

A.  Christmas

claws

Q.  A man’s name that starts with the letter “P”   

A.  Porcupine

Q.  Name a pie that does not contain fruit

A.  Lemon Meringue

lemon-meringue-pie

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Q.  Name a room in the house where the family gathers  

A.  Bathroom

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“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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A few people have asked me if the quiz show answers that I use on the fasab blog are all genuine or did I make some of them up for comic effect.

It’s not that I would be beyond doing things to get a laugh sometimes, but to answer the question for everyone who considered it:

Yes they are all genuine answers.

Yes, people are genuinely that stupid.

Yes, it’s hard to believe but it’s true.

Still not convinced?

Need evidence direct from the horses’ mouths?

Grab yourself a nice cup of coffee and take 15 minutes or so to watch the video.

Enjoy (and never doubt fasab again…… well not all the time.)

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“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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I’m not sure how many more of these quiz show answers are left in the archives, but there are enough for today’s selection.

It doesn’t seem to matter what subject the questions are about, you are still almost guaranteed that a quiz show contestant will not only know nothing about it, but will come up with the most irrelevant and absurd answers.

Enjoy.

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Q:  Who played agent 007 in the 1989 film Licence To Kill?

A:  Err…………James Bond?

licencetokill

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Q:  With whom did Britain go to war over the Falklands?

A:  Err   .          .          .

Q:  It s a South American country.

A:  Iran.

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Q:  Name a domestic animal.

A:  Leopard.

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Q:  Name a game you can play in the bath.

A:  Scuba diving.

scuba diving in the bath

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Q:  How many strings does a guitar have?

A:  Err   …Four.

Q:  It s the number of wives that Henry VIII had   .          .          .

A:  Oh! Five.

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Q: Name a prime number between 20 and 40.

A: Between 20 and 40?

Q: Yes.

A: 7. 

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Q: After his abdication, King Edward VIII of England became known as the Duke of where?

A: Duke of Earl. 

darts-duke_of_earl

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Q: Who wrote Hamlet?

A: Um, MacBeth.

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Q: What insect is commonly found hovering above lakes?

A: Crocodiles.

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Q: Name an animal whose eggs you probably never eat for breakfast.

A: Hamster.

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Q: What creature squirts a smelly, unpleasant fluid at its enemies?

A: A snake.

Q: No, I’ll give you a clue — it’s black and white.

A: A bee!

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Q: Which character narrates all but four of the Sherlock Holmes books?

A: The Pink Panther.

Pink_Panther_by_HypnoRukia

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Q: What is the capital of Australia? And it’s not Sydney.

A: Sydney.

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Q: We’re looking for a four-letter answer here. Shakespeare said that this by any other name would smell as sweet.

A: Soap?

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Q: The four Gospels of the New Testament are attributed to Matthew, Mark, John and who?

A: Joe.

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“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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It’s Monday and that means some more quiz show answers.

I can’t make up my mind if they are getting worse every week, but they don’t ever seem to improve much that’s for sure!

Enjoy.

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Q: What hard cheese derives its name from the city of Rome?   

A: Swiss

swiss cheese

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Q: Who are the cartoon mascots of Rice Krispies cereal?           

A: Crispy & Crunch

snap crackle pop

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Q: In religion, the Jehovah’s Witnesses distribute Awake and what other magazine?         

A: MAD

watchtower

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Q: What stock symbol does International Business Machines trade under?          

A: NYB

ibm-logo-3

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Q: What former child actor played the sympathetic Cornelius in the original “Planet of the Apes”?

A: Gary Coleman

Cornelius

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Q: In 1994, what sporting event was canceled due to a player’s strike?    

A: China

new china logo

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Q: What “T” is both an item of underwear and a rising column of warm air?         

A: Turtle

cartoon_turtle

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Q: The name of what ceremony of the installation of a new monarch comes from the Latin for “crown”?   

A: Head           

queen

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Q: Which US state is home to the Boston Symphony Orchestra?

A: Boston

boston map

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Q: What cast member of “The Carol Burnett Show” played the title character on NBC’s “Mama’s Family?” 

A: Mama

mamas family

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Q: Which figure skater was implicated in the 1994 attack on Olympic teammate Nancy Kerrigan? 

A: Monica Lewinsky

Monica Lewinsky

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Q: In nature, most unripe fruit is which color, purple or green?    

A: Plum

cartoon plum

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Q: What was the name of Madonna’s concert tour in 1990?        

A: Blond Tart    

Madonna

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Q: The name of which small, wingless, jumping insect precedes “bite”, “collar”, and “market” to give three familiar terms?

A: Bicycle        

cartoon-flea

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“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Intelligence seems to be the only thing in jeopardy as far as these quiz show contestants are concerned!

Another array of dumb answers to look at.

Enjoy.

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Q: On December 4, 1783, George Washington bade his officers farewell at this New York City tavern.     

A: What is the Whiskey-A-Go-Go?

cherry tree

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Q: This term for a long handled gardening tool can also mean an immoral pleasure seeker.         

A: What is a hoe?

hoe

Q: By the 4th century AD, Rome had 28 public ones stacked with rolls of papyrus          

A: What are public toilets?

papyrus

Q: It’s the southernmost city of the continental United States.     

A: What is West Virginia?

west_virginia_map_glass_blowing_cartoon

Q: He was born in India in 1841.

A: Who is Alex Trebek?

Alex Trebek

Q: Hedda Tesman, Helen Alving, Knut Brovik     

A: Who are three people that have never been in my kitchen?

Kitchen cartoon

Q: In which of the three daily meals are you most likely to eat fatty foods?         

A: Meat

meat

Q: Bourbon whiskey is named after Bourbon County, located in what state?       

A: England

Goose-Island-Cherry-Rye-Bourbon-County

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Q: Prior to 1984, what was the last year the United States participated in the Summer Olympics? 

A: 1936

olympic-runner-copyright4

Q: On the middle row of a standard keyboard, what key should your left pinky rest on?  

A: ASDF

Keyboard

Q: What chocolate bar is named after the Roman god of war?    

A: Snickers

snickers

Q: What ‘G’ is a brand of animal shaped cheddar crackers introduced by Pepperidge Farm in 1962?        

A: Oreos

oreo1

Q: How many red stripes are there on the American flag?           

A: 50

American Flag

Q: What ‘H’ is the general term for a six-sided two-dimensional shape?   

A: Trapezoid

Trapezoid1

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Q: According to the proverb, the daily consumption of what piece of fruit keeps the doctor away?          

A: Banana

banana cartoon

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“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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We all happen to be living during a time when there are great advances and changes being made in the way we live our lives. Some of them are to our benefit, other not so much so.

Politically and financially the world is in turmoil. There is an accelerating and inevitable shift of power and influence towards the east, with former great powers like Britain and America declining in their influence and their economic might.

Perhaps that is a natural phenomenon, after all as they say “every dog has its day”, but I happen to believe that a lot of it is due to stupidity and mismanagement allied with a self-defeating philosophy that the west somehow has a duty to police the world and to create nanny states for its citizens where they will neither have to work nor want.

Technologically there have also been many changes and many more to come. During the past twenty years with the advent and growth of the internet everything has changed, from the way we interact socially, to how and where we work, and how we manage our affairs whether that be banking, shopping or whatever.

What a lot of these changes mean is that future generations will have no idea of how our lives used to be. Already many of us who have lived through the changes have forgotten how we used to have to do things. What would it be like trying to explain the ‘old days’ to a generation with absolutely no point of reference to the world we were born into?

To remind you of how it used to be here is a list of some of things we have known and lost, consigned to the rubbish bin of history. Feel free to add your own items to this list of things that your grand-kids will probably never know.

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Libraries as a place to get books rather than a place to use the internet.

Dewey Decimal System

Finding books in a card catalog at the library.

A physical dictionary — either for spelling or definitions.

Reference books such as phone books, encyclopaedias

Finding out information from an encyclopedia.

library_cartoon

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Having to manually unlock a car door.

Looking out the window during a long drive.

Using a road atlas to get from A to B.

Getting lost in a world without GPS.

gps_cartoon

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Being able to add and subtract without a calculator

Long division and multiplication

Trig tables and log tables.

Slide rules

Slide Rule

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House phones

Phone books and Yellow Pages.

Rotary-dial telephones.

Pay phones.

Phones with actual bells in them.

Answering machines.

Fax machines.

Not knowing who was calling you on the phone.

rotary_ringing_telephone

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Super-8 movies and cine film of all kinds.

Betamax tapes.

Video tapes and renting movies

Inserting a VHS tape into a VCR to watch a movie or to record something.

Laserdiscs.

8-track cartridges.

8-Track-tape-Player

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Casette Tapes

Vinyl records. Even today’s DJs are going laptop or CD.

CDs and DVDs

Playing music on an audio tape using a personal stereo.

Taping songs off the radio

A Walkman.

cassette tape

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Rotary tuners that scanned the radio dial and hearing static between stations as you went through the ether.

Shortwave radio.

CB radios.

Rotary dial televisions with no remote control. You know, the ones where the kids were the remote control.

Waiting for the television-network premiere to watch a movie after its run at the theater.

old_radio

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DOS.

The buzz of a dot-matrix printer

5- and 3-inch floppies, Zip Discs and countless other forms of data storage.

Booting your computer off of a floppy disk.

Tweaking the volume setting on your tape deck to get a computer game to load, and waiting ages for it to actually do it.

Counting in kilobytes.

Joysticks.

Having to delete something to make room on your hard drive.

Waiting several minutes (or even hours!) to download something.

When a ‘geek’ and a ‘nerd’ were one and the same.

NCSA Mosaic.

Netscape

Alta Vista

Being able to get a domain name consisting of real words.

floppy disk

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Cash.

Writing a check.

Doing bank business only when the bank is open.

Shopping only during the day, Monday to Saturday.

Being able to buy something in Walmart that isn’t made in China

cash

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Privacy.

Being able to take a drive or walk down the street without being surveilled on numerous cameras

Not knowing exactly what all of your friends are doing and thinking at every moment.

big-brother-thought-police-cjmadden

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Carrying on a correspondence with real letters, especially the handwritten kind.

Neat handwriting.

Spelling

Grammar

The fact that words generally don’t have num8er5 in them.

Typewriters.

typewriter

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Putting film in your camera

Sending that film away to be processed.

Having physical prints of photographs come back to you.

Film_Strip

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Vacuum cleaners with bags in them.

Ashtrays

Roller skates, as opposed to blades.

Ashtray

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“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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The answers no one could script, or expect.

More stupidity gone wild when the intellectually challenged make it on to the game shows.

Enjoy.

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Q: Name something you eat too much of

A: ……….food    

food

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Q: Name a country you’d like to visit if you spent a summer in Europe

A: Paris

Paris en Avril

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Q: Name a word that rhymes with coke

A: ……….float

A: Moke

moke mouse mat

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Q: Name something an Indian chief might use

A: Squaw

squaw

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Q: An animal with really good sight

A: Bat

cartoon_bat_by_macki_17-d52noht

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Q: Name a sport in which two people compete against each other

A: Checkers

checkers

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Q: Name something that’s hard to hold on to when it’s slippery

A: A (censored)

censored

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Q: Name a holiday where men buy last minute gifts for their wife

A: Thanksgiving

thanksgiving_cartoon_turkey_pilgrim_keychain

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Q: How long the average honeymoon lasts

A: 2 months

honeymoon cartoon

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Q: Name something people are careful to step over when they’re walking

A: Spit

bystander effect

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Q: Name something that comes in a traveling size

A: Refrigerator

Carrying-A-Fridge

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Q: Name something of yours you hope doesn’t start making noises

A: Your dog

A: Your children

cartoon-boys-with-mischief-on-their-minds

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Q: An animal that begins with “M”

A: Marsupial

cartoon-happy-kangaroo-with-her-joey-in-her-pouch

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Q: What moos?

A: A car

car moo

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Q: Who starred in The Godfather and is also Robert?

A: Marlon Brando

cartoon godfather

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