It’s International Litarasy Day 2day

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Final Pun Day.

For this January that is. I hope I didn’t get your hopes up .  🙂

Here we go.

Enjoy or endure!

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rofl

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The Inventor of the jug died today.

Tributes have been pouring in.

jug

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I asked my friend if he is a compulsive shouter.

The answer was a resounding yes.

compulsive-shouter

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Caught a bloke in the changing room earlier,

holding my jacket saying he thought it was his!

I think he was trying it on.

hip-hop-man-holding-jacket-12834831

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I don’t like my wife going out drinking

with the girls from the nail bar.

They always end up getting hammered.

nail bar

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This girl, Rene Wals, is obsessed with me.

She keeps sending me emails.

She works at GoDaddy, but I think she’s a moron

— she spells her name “Renewals.”

GoDaddy-Email-Login

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The first rule of Palindrome Club is

si bulC emordnilaP fo elur tsrif ehT.

Palindrome Club

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Is a woman who can’t have a baby,

unbearable, impregnable or inconceivable?

woman who can't have a baby

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My girlfriend was complaining

that I never buy her flowers.

I didn’t even know she sold them.

woman selling flowers

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My wife asked me how much I like

the new GPS she bought for me

I replied, “Well, I’d be lost without it.”

new GPS

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I think I first realized that my drinking

had got out of control when my doctor

referred me to a Bacardiologist.

Bacardi

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I call my weed “The Quran”

Because burning that shit will get you stoned.

burning weed

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My wife found out that I’d been moving her

bookmark forward a few pages every night.

She really lost the plot.

bookmark in book

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I was checking out this blonde girl,

when the librarian said,

“Sir, we only lend out books in here.”

librarian

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Girlfriend: You have to make a choice,

it’s either me or your career as a news reporter.

Me: Well, I’ve got some news for you then.

news reporter

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A teacher asks her class

“Can anyone tell me the name of Robin Hood’s girlfriend?”

Little Paddy raises his hand and says

“Yes Miss, it’s Trudy Glen.”

“No Paddy, the answer is Maid Marion.”

“But Miss, what about the song?

Robin Hood, Robin Hood, riding Trudy Glen.”

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= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

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Can You Handle The Quiz?

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Hi and welcome to another week.

Today’s quiz has a few questions that I think you will find quite challenging, plus one or two that you should breeze through with ease.

But the only way to find out is to have a go.

And remember, as always, if you get stuck, you can find the answers waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay down below, but please NO cheating!

Enjoy and good luck.

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Quiz 07

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Q.  1:  What goes up and down, but still remains in the same place?

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Q.  2:  Who directed both JFK and Nixon?

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Q.  3:  Before being harvested and sold, an individual cranberry must bounce at least how many inches high to make sure they aren’t too ripe?

           a)  2 inches            b)  3 inches            c)  4 inches            d)  5 inches

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Q.  4:  What World War II British naval intelligence officer wrote the children’s story ‘Chitty-Chitty-Bang-Bang’?

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Q.  5:  Who is the only US President who was never elected as either President or Vice President?

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Q.  6:  The ‘H-3’ and the ‘H-4’, built in 1757 and 1759 were mechanical wonders.  Who constructed them both and what were they used for?  (A point for each correct answer and a bonus point if you get them both correct.)

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Q.  7:  What does the term ‘Cornucopia’ mean?

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Q.  8:  To nearest 1000, in the year 1800 how many wild turkeys were there in Turkey?

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Q.  9:  The two oldest universities in Europe are both found in which country?  

           a) France              b) England              c) Italy              d) Greece

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Q. 10:  Who was the tallest President of the United States and who was the shortest? (A point for each correct answer and a bonus point if you get them both correct.)

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Q. 11:  In which 1949 movie did Sir Alec Guinness famously play the role of eight different members of the D’Ascoyne family?

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Q. 12:  Who won this year’s (2014) Formula One World Driver’s Championship and what was his nationality? (A point for each correct answer and a bonus point if you get them both correct.)

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Q. 13:  ‘Fionn mac Cumhaill’, ‘Bergrisar’, ‘Daityas’, ‘Patagons’ and ‘Nephilims’ are all examples of what?

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Q. 14:  What does ‘IMAX’, as in the large screen IMAX Cinemas stand for?

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Q. 15:  Which boxer’s first professional fight was against Tunney Hunsaker, Police Chief of Fayetteville, West Virginia, on October 29, 1960?

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Q. 16:  Which Portuguese-born navigator was the first European to cross the Pacific Ocean?

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Q. 17:  Who was the first Twitter user to reach 20 million followers?

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Q. 18:  Which martial art takes its name from the Japanese for ‘way of the sword’?

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Q. 19:  What color is ‘Absynth’?

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Q. 20:  Which popular singer and movie star had a ‘secret love’ in 1954 and in which famous movie did it feature? (A point for each correct answer and a bonus point if you get them both correct.)

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ANSWERS

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Q.  1:  What goes up and down, but still remains in the same place?

A.  1:  Stairs!

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Q.  2:  Who directed both JFK and Nixon?

A.  2:  Oliver Stone.

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Q.  3:  Before being harvested and sold, an individual cranberry must bounce at least how many inches high to make sure they aren’t too ripe?

           a)  2 inches            b)  3 inches            c)  4 inches            d)  5 inches

A.  3:  The correct answer is c)  4 inches.

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Q.  4:  What World War II British naval intelligence officer wrote the children’s story ‘Chitty-Chitty-Bang-Bang’?

A.  4:  Ian Fleming, much better known as author of the James Bond novels.

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Q.  5:  Who is the only US President who was never elected as either President or Vice President?

A.  5:  Gerald R Ford, who became the 40th Vice-President when Spiro Agnew resigned the position and who subsequently became the 38th President of the USA, when he took over the job after Richard M Nixon resigned.

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Q.  6:  The ‘H-3’ and the ‘H-4’, built in 1757 and 1759 were mechanical wonders.  Who constructed them both and what were they used for?  (A point for each correct answer and a bonus point if you get them both correct.)

A.  6:  John Harrison.   H-3 and H-4 were the first successful maritime chronometers.

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Q.  7:  What does the term ‘Cornucopia’ mean?

A.  7:  Literally ‘Horn of Plenty’, used as a symbol of abundance.

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Q.  8:  To nearest 1000, in the year 1800 how many wild turkeys were there in Turkey?

A.  8:  The correct answer is ‘None’, the wild turkey it is a native North American bird.

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Q.  9:  The two oldest universities in Europe are both found in which country?  

           a) France              b) England              c) Italy              d) Greece

A.  9:  Many people think it is England with the famous Oxford and Cambridge Universities, but the correct answer is  c) Italy.  Parma (1065 AD) and Bologna (1119 AD)

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Q. 10:  Who was the tallest President of the United States and who was the shortest? (A point for each correct answer and a bonus point if you get them both correct.)

A. 10:  Abraham Lincoln was the tallest at 6′ 4″, and James Madison was the shortest at 5′ 4″.

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Q. 11:  In which 1949 movie did Sir Alec Guinness famously play the role of eight different members of the D’Ascoyne family?

A. 11:  Kind Hearts and Coronets.

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Q. 12:  Who won this year’s (2014) Formula One World Driver’s Championship and what was his nationality? (A point for each correct answer and a bonus point if you get them both correct.)

A. 12:  Lewis Hamilton who is British.

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Q. 13:  ‘Fionn mac Cumhaill’, ‘Bergrisar’, ‘Daityas’, ‘Patagons’ and ‘Nephilims’ are all examples of what?

A. 13:  Giants.

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Q. 14:  What does ‘IMAX’, as in the large screen IMAX Cinemas stand for?

A. 14:  IMAX stands for ‘Image Maximum’.

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Q. 15:  Which boxer’s first professional fight was against Tunney Hunsaker, Police Chief of Fayetteville, West Virginia, on October 29, 1960?

A. 15:  Cassius Clay. (Sorry, but you do not score a point if you only said ‘Muhammad Ali’, he did not change his name until 15 years later after converting to Sunni Islam in 1975.)

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Q. 16:  Which Portuguese-born navigator was the first European to cross the Pacific Ocean?

A. 16:  Ferdinand Magellan (1480 – 1521).

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Q. 17:  Who was the first Twitter user to reach 20 million followers?

A. 17:  Lady Gaga.

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Q. 18:  Which martial art takes its name from the Japanese for ‘way of the sword’?

A. 18:  Kendo.

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Q. 19:  What color is ‘Absynth’?

A. 19:  Green.

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Q. 20:  Which popular singer and movie star had a ‘secret love’ in 1954 and in which famous movie did it feature? (A point for each correct answer and a bonus point if you get them both correct.)

A. 20:  Doris Day and the movie was Calamity Jane.

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Let’s Not Have A Barney About These Facts.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Hi, and welcome to the fasab blog.

Today is fact day with another random selection of hopefully interesting things to learn.

Enjoy

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did you know1

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In gangster slang, a boxing match

that is fixed is called a ‘barney’.

boxers

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In 2009, one of the twelve surviving copies of

Edgar Allen Poe’s first book ‘Tamerlane and Other Poems’

was sold at Christie’s Auction House for $662,500,

a record price paid for a work of American literature.

Tamerlane and Other Poems

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Isaac Smith was a commissioned officer in

the Royal Navy and the cousin of Captain Cook,

with whom he explored the then-New World.

Smith also became the first European to arrive in eastern Australia

and the first man to create survey maps of various Pacific islands and coastlines,

including Tierra del Fuego in South America.

Despite all his pioneering in the world of exploration

he is best remembered as the last survivor

of James Cook’s first voyage in the South Pacific Ocean

aboard the HMS Endeavour, from 1768 to 1771.

Midshipman_Isaac_Smith

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Research suggests that dark chocolate boosts memory,

attention span, reaction time, and problem-solving skills

by increasing blood flow to the brain.

Dark chocolate can also improve the ability

to see in low-contrast situations (such as poor weather)

and promote lower blood pressure.

Yum!

dark chocolate

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On average, 35 meters of hair fiber

is produced on the adult scalp.

Really???

shaved_head

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Ant colonies range greatly in size from

a few dozen individuals to many millions of ants.

The largest ant colonies are called ‘supercolonies’ that create

giant ant hills sometimes thousands of miles long.

The largest supercolony covers over 3,700 miles,

and has over 1 billion ants.

african_ant_hill

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Most toilets flush in E flat.

toilet

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The largest building in the world by volume

is The Boeing Everett Factory, in Everett, Washington,

which was originally built for the construction of the Boeing 747.

It has a volume of 472,370,319 cubic feet (1.7495e+7yd³)

and an area of almost 100 acres (40 ha 4685.6m2).

The Boeing Everett Factory

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Oak trees can live 200 years or more.

angel-oak-tree-l

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Astronaut John Glenn is a decorated World War II veteran,

one of the first American astronauts in history,

and one of the epic Mercury Seven.

Glenn was also the first American astronaut to orbit the Earth

and the fifth astronaut in history to go into space.

At the age of 93 he’s the last remaining astronaut of the Mercury Seven

and one of the very few surviving astronauts (American or Soviet)

of the Space Age that began in the late 1950s.

John Glenn

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A less successful astronaut was a Chinese man called Wan Hu,

a sixteenth-century local government official during the Ming Dynasty,

who had ambitions to travel to the Moon by means of a

special chair he designed with 47 attached rockets.

After lighting the rockets,

instead of shooting the ambitious government official into the air,

the rockets exploded, killing him.

Wan Hu

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When Pluto was first located by Clyde Tombaugh in 1930

it was just given the generic name Planet X.

It was named ‘Pluto’ by an 11-year-old girl,

Venetia Burney of Oxford, England.

Venetia Burney of Oxford, England

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Want somewhere quiet to eat?

Then try Nicholas Nauman’s restaurant called ‘Eat’

in Greenpoint, Brooklyn, New York,

which features nothing special except for the fact

that you cannot speak while dining there.

Apparently it was inspired by his life-changing stay

at a Buddhist monastery in India,

which made him want to create a place

where people could enjoy silence.

The silent dinners became so popular that nowadays,

people have to book their tables in advance.

restaurant called ‘Eat’

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The first toilet stall in a public washroom is the least likely to be used

and therefore also likely to be the cleanest.

first toilet stall in a public washroom

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The character of Michael Myers

was named after the European distributor of

John Carpenter’s previous film,

Assault on Precinct 13,

and apparently this was the director’s way of

saying a kind of weird “thank you” for the

film’s incredible success throughout most of Europe.

Michael_Myers

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End September With Some Facts.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Indeed, what better way to end the month of September than with another random selection of facts.

I’m sure there are at least a few things in this lot that you didn’t know.

Enjoy.

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facts 04

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There are more than 100,000 chemical reactions

happening in your brain every second.

chemical reactions happening in your brain

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The first machine-made chocolate was

produced in Barcelona, Spain, in 1780.

machine-made chocolate

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A blue whale´s tongue alone

can weigh as much as a single adult elephant

which gives you an indication of the size of the former.

blue-whale-tongue-n-elephant

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About 275 million new stars are born everyday.

275 million new stars are born everyday

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Ohio lawyer Clement Vallandigham

managed to shoot himself in a court room in 1871

while demonstrating to a jury how his client’s

alleged murder victim had actually shot himself.

Apparently no one checked the gun.

Clement Vallandigham

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The Chinese language (Mandarin/Cantonese)

has about 50,000 characters.

To read a newspaper you would

need to know about 2,000 of them.

Chinese language

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Gum is not sold in any Disney Park.

disneyland_map

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The word ‘Lukewarm’ is actually a redundancy.

‘Luke’ meant ‘warm’ in Middle English

so ‘lukewarm’ technically would mean ‘warm warm’.

lukewarm

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The most remote island in the world

is the uninhabited Bouvet Island

which lies somewhere between

Antarctica and Tristan de Cunha.

Bouvet Island Location

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Did you know that dolphins are so smart that,

within a few weeks of captivity,

they can train people to stand on the

very edge of the pool and throw them fish?

feeding-dolphins

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‘Linn’s Stamp News’ is the world’s largest

weekly newspaper for stamp collectors.

Linn's Stamp News

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The little lump of flesh just forward of your ear canal,

right next to your temple, is called a ‘tragus’.

tragus

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The United States has never lost a war

in which mules were used.

army mule

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Will Clark of the Texas Rangers is a direct descendant

of William Clark of Lewis and Clark.

Will Clark Rangers Photocard

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Running from 1972 through 1983, M*A*S*H*

was one of the most successful shows on television ever.

It won 8 Golden Globe awards,

14 Primetime Emmy awards,

the 1976 Peabody award

and was the People’s Choice winner

for Favorite TV Comedy five times.

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Pierre-Joseph Proudhon – What It Means To Be Governed.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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I had intended to indulge myself today with a bit of a Sunday Sermon about the increasing intrusiveness of government.

But then I found a quote from a Frenchman named Pierre-Joseph Proudhon and I decided to let him use my pulpit on this occasion.

He didn’t know about the “En ess a” snoopers who have been listening to our phone calls, reading our emails, and spying on the leaders of nations that are supposed to be friends and allies of the United States, because he was speaking about what it means to be governed more than two hundred years ago.

Nevertheless, his words ring eerily true.

Nothing, it seems, has changed.

In fact today’s technology has made things far worse.

This is what he had to say all those years ago….

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To be governed is to be

watched over,

inspected,

spied on,

directed,

legislated at,

regulated,

docketed,

indoctrinated,

preached at,

controlled,

assessed,

weighed,

censored,

(and) ordered about,

by men who have neither the right, nor the knowledge, nor the virtue.

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To be governed is to be at every operation, at every transaction,

noted,

registered,

enrolled,

taxed,

stamped,

measured,

numbered,

assessed,

licensed,

authorized,

admonished,

forbidden,

reformed,

corrected,

(and) punished.

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It is, under the pretext of public utility, and in the name of the general interest, to be

placed under contribution,

trained,

ransomed,

exploited,

monopolized,

extorted,

squeezed,

mystified,

(and) robbed;

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Then, at the slightest resistance, the first word of complaint, to be

repressed,

fined,

despised,

harassed,

tracked,

abused,

clubbed,

disarmed,

choked,

imprisoned,

judged,

condemned,

shot,

deported,

sacrificed,

sold,

betrayed;

and, to crown all,

mocked,

ridiculed,

outraged,

(and) dishonoured.

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That is government; that is its justice; that is its morality.

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The man knew what he was talking about.

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Portrait_of_Pierre_Joseph_Proudhon_1865

Pierre-Joseph Proudhon, (1809 – 1865) was a French politician, the founder of Mutualist philosophy, an economist and a libertarian socialist. He was the first person to declare himself an anarchist and is among its most influential theorists. He is considered by many to be the “father of anarchism”. He became a member of the French Parliament after the revolution of 1848, whereupon and thereafter he referred to himself as a federalist.

(Bio source http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pierre-Joseph_Proudhon )

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Did You Know? – Here Are Some More Things You Probably Didn’t.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Welcome to another fact finding day on the fasab blog.

Fifteen more very random but hopefully interesting facts that you probably didn’t know.

Enjoy.

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did you know4

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If you live in France,

and happen to own a pig,

it is illegal to name it ‘Napoleon’.

pig Napoleon

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50 of the 83 restaurants

featured on Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares

have been sold or shut down.

ramsays-kitchen-nightmares

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In Turkey, it is illegal for a man

over 80 years old to become a pilot.

pilot turkey

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It took 127 beers to make Andre The Giant

pass out in a hotel lobby;

 he was so big, hotel management couldn’t

move him and left him there until the next day.

Andres-Hand-beer

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If you have the plague you are not

permitted to flag down a taxi in London.

London taxi

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If a set of identical twin women

married a set of identical twin men

and subsequently had children,

their kids would genetically be siblings.

nicoleandjaqueline

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Every year Louis Vuitton burns

all of its unsold stock of bags.

Louis_Vuitton_Speedy_Hand_Bags

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It is against the law in Barbados to wear any camouflage clothing,

but, hey, if it’s good enough whose going to notice?

bushgreen camouflage

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Sean Connery wore a wig in every

one of his Bond performances.

Sean Connery James Bond

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Whilst chewing gum in Singapore is not illegal,

importing it, or selling it,

or spitting it on to the pavement definitely is.

Singapore gum sign

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Peter Sellers was paid $1 million for his

part in the movie Dr. Strangelove,

55 percent of the film’s budget.

peter-sellers-as-dr-strangelove

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In Canada stores are not

legally required to accept coins

Canadian-Specimen-Set-Coins

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The United Arab Emirates donated a laptop

to every high school student in Joplin, Missouri,

after the city had been devastated by a tornado.

Joplin, Missouri after tornado

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Astronaut Pete Conrad’s first sentence on the moon was

“Oooh, is that soft an queasy”,

said in order to win a $500 bet.

pete conrad

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And speaking of the Moon,

the Moonwalk predates Michael Jackson by at least 50 years,

having been performed by James Brown, David Bowie,

Dick Van Dyke and Cab Calloway.

(MJ is still the best at it though.)

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Quizday….Err… I mean, Monday 24th June!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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The clue was in the title.

Yes, it’s Monday, it must be quiz day on the fasab blog.

Here is another selection of mind benders.

Good luck and hope you enjoy!

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Quiz 6

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Q  1:  It is called a “ten gallon hat”, but how much does it really hold?

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Q  2:  In what country was paper invented?

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Q  3:  What is the smallest country in the world, with a population of 1000 and just 108.7 acres in area?

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Q  4:  What do Anteaters prefer to eat?

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Q  5:  What is the “thyroid cartilage” more commonly known as?

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Q  6:  In the 1960’s, who was the first rock star to be arrested on stage?

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Q  7:  What is the collective noun for a group of larks?

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Q  8:  What is the only continent that does not have land areas below sea level.

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Q  9:  The more you take the more you leave behind. What are they?

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Q 10:  The police can arrest you for attempting this crime, but strangely not for committing it. What is it?

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Q 11:  On a regular 12-hour digital clock how many times would the same three digits in a row be displayed in one day – for example, 1:11, 11:12, 12:22?

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Q 12:  What country is made up of approximately 7,100 islands?

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Q 13:  The mother of what star of “The Monkees” pop band invented whiteout?

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Q 14:  There are only four words in the English language that end in “dous”. Can you name any one of them? (A point for each.)

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Q 15:  What is the only English word with two synonyms (same meaning) which are antonyms (opposite meaning) of each other?

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Q 16:  In 1865, the U.S. Secret Service was first established for the specific purpose of combating what?

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Q 17:  The first TONKA truck was made when?  In 1937,  1947,  1957,  or 1967?

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Q 18:  Why did the Great Pyramids used to look as white as snow?

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Q 19:  Walter Hunt patented this common household item in 1849 and later sold the patent rights for only $400. What did he invent?

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Q 20:  The most expensive decorative egg that has ever been sold was the “Winter Egg” which went for $5.6 million in 1994. But who manufactured it?

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ANSWERS

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Q  1:  It is called a “ten gallon hat”, but how much does it really hold?

A  1:  A ten gallon hat actually holds three quarters of a gallon.

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Q  2:  In what country was paper invented?

A  2:  Paper was invented early in the second century in China by Chinese eunuch. (I guess he needed something to do!)

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Q  3:  What is the smallest country in the world, with a population of 1000 and just 108.7 acres in area?

A  3:  The Vatican City

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Q  4:  What do Anteaters prefer to eat?

A  4:  Yes, it was a tricky one, Anteaters prefer a meal of termites to ants.

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Q  5:  What is the “thyroid cartilage” more commonly known as?

A  5:  The “thyroid cartilage” is more commonly known as the “adams apple”.

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Q  6:  In the 1960’s, who was the first rock star to be arrested on stage?

A  6:  Jim Morrison of the rock group The Doors.

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Q  7:  What is the collective noun for a group of larks?

A  7:  A group of larks is known as an “exaltation”.

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Q  8:  What is the only continent that does not have land areas below sea level.

A  8:  Antarctica.

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Q  9:  The more you take the more you leave behind. What are they?

A  9:  Footsteps

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Q 10:  The police can arrest you for attempting this crime, but strangely not for committing it. What is it?

A 10:  Suicide

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Q 11:  On a regular 12-hour digital clock how many times would the same three digits in a row be displayed in one day – for example, 1:11, 11:12, 12:22?

A 11:  34 times. These 17 instances will be visible twice in a 24 hour period.  1:11 2:22 3:33 4:44 5:55 10:00 11:10 11:11 11:12 11:13 11:14 11:15 11:16 11:17 11:18 11:19 12:22

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Q 12:  What country is made up of approximately 7,100 islands?

A 12:  The Philippines

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Q 13:  The mother of what star of “The Monkees” pop band invented whiteout?

A 13:  Michael Nesmith’s mother invented whiteout.

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Q 14:  There are only four words in the English language that end in “dous”. Can you name any one of them? (A point for each.)

A 14:  The only four words in the English language that end in “dous” (as far as I know) are: “tremendous”, “horrendous”, “stupendous”, and “hazardous”.

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Q 15:  What is the only English word with two synonyms (same meaning) which are antonyms (opposite meaning) of each other?

A 15:  The verb “cleave” is the only English word with two synonyms (same meaning) which are antonyms (opposite meaning) of each other: adhere and separate.

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Q 16:  In 1865, the U.S. Secret Service was first established for the specific purpose of combatting what?

A 16:  In 1865, the U.S. Secret Service was first established for the specific purpose of combatting the counterfeiting of money.

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Q 17:  The first TONKA truck was made when?  In 1937  1947  1957  1967

A 17:  The first TONKA truck was made in 1947.

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Q 18:  Why did the Great Pyramids used to look as white as snow?

A 18:  The Great Pyramids used to look as white as snow because they were originally encased in a bright limestone that has worn off over the years.

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Q 19:  Walter Hunt patented this common household item in 1849 and later sold the patent rights for only $400. What did he invent?

A 19:  In 1849 Water Hunt invented and patented the safety pin.

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Q 20:  The most expensive decorative egg that has ever been sold was the “Winter Egg” which went for $5.6 million in 1994. But who manufactured it?

A 20:  The “Winter Egg” sold in 1994 for $5.6 million was made by Faberge.

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