Posts Tagged ‘Random’

Did You Know – The Facts Are Here!

Posted: July 29, 2014 in Factoids, Unusual
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“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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The facts are indeed here.

Most Tuesdays in fact (no pun intended, that’s Thursdays!).

A very random selection of hopefully interesting things to peruse, perhaps with a nice cup of coffee.

Enjoy.

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facts 03

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Dogs don’t sweat through their tongue.

Most of their sweat glands are located in their foot pads.

While panting does keep them cool,

panting is not equivalent to sweating.

dog panting

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The word “Berserk” comes from ancient Norse fighters

who were known as Berserkers

Berserker

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800,000 brave men risked their lives

by exposing themselves to radiation

in order to contain the Chernobyl disaster.

25,000 of these have died (20 percent by suicide)

and 70,000 are disabled.

The environmental group Greenpeace places the

eventual death toll at 93,000 cancer deaths world wide,

but surprisingly, the overall rate of cancer deaths

and other health effects related to the Chernobyl accident

is lower than initially feared.

Chernobyl disaster workers

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The average woman is 5 inches shorter

than the average man.

tall woman short man

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On her 112th jump South African skydiver,

Christine McKenzie’s main and reserve

parachutes both failed to deploy.

As she raced towards earth from a height

of about 11,000 feet, she fell on power lines.

She was not electrocuted,

but instead the power lines helped

brake her fall and save her life.

 

skydiver.

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At any given time your brain

can generate up to 25 watts of power.

That’s enough to power a lightbulb.

brain can generate up to 25 watts of power

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Martin Bormann, the highest ranking Nazi official

who wasn’t accounted for after World War II

was thought to have gone into hiding

somewhere in South America

and sightings had been reported for years.

In 1999, however, his body was found

in an unmarked grave near the bunker

where Hitler committed suicide.

Martin Bormann

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Bats aren’t blind.

While many species do use echolocation,

some have excellent night vision

and don’t rely on echolocation at all.

Bats

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British pro wrestler Mal “King Kong” Kirk

was squished to death under the belly

of Shirley “Big Daddy” Crabtree when

Crabtree performed his signature “belly slam”

Shirley “Big Daddy” Crabtree

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There’s a gas cloud in the constellation of Aquila

that contains enough alcohol to make

400 trillion trillion pints of beer.

(Now that’s my kinda gas cloud!)

pints of beer

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When you are looking at someone you love,

your pupils dilate…

they do the same when

you are looking at someone you hate!

dilated pupil

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The statue of Cinderella at Disney

looks sad to adults,

but from a child’s view she is

happily smiling and wearing a crown.

statue of Cinderella at Disney

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A Japanese man recently sued the

National Broadcasting Company

for the mental distress they caused him

by using too many English words in their programs

Japanese English dictionary

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The Earth isn’t actually orbiting around the Sun.

It’s orbiting around the Solar System’s center of mass

known as the Barycenter.

Although this point often falls within the mass of the Sun,

it can be shifted by the pull of larger planets.

Therefore, at least some of the time,

everything in the solar system

is orbiting around empty space

Earth orbiting around the Sun 

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The Silbo language of La Gomera

off the coast of Spain

consists entirely of whistles.

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Why Are The Bureaucrats Destroying What Made America Great?

Posted: July 20, 2014 in Business, Current Events, Factoids, Politics, Rants
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“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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The Sunday Sermon

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Since the government and bureaucrats in the United States abandoned the business-friendly environment that made the country the greatest and wealthiest nation on earth, and replaced that with a legislative and wealth redistributing strategy that is anything but business-friendly, there has been a growing trend for successful companies to leave the US.

It should have been obvious – and indeed it was – to everyone but the morons in Washington. 

 

obama cartoon big government

The latest to try to make a move out of the United States is the pharmaceutical giant AbbVie, currently based outside Chicago, Illinois, but not for much longer if they get their way.

Using a $53 billion acquisition of the Jersey-registered, Irish-headquartered global specialty biopharmaceutical company “Shire”, a deal that will allow Abbvie to reincorporate elsewhere, it plans to leave the high tax US for a more advantageous business environment.

By making this move and escaping United States tax rates, Abbvie will pay lower taxes on its international earnings, get access to overseas cash more cheaply, and be able to acquire other companies without making their earnings subject to United States taxes.

Abbvie

And Abbvie is not alone.

There has been a rush of companies wanting to get out of the United States. Health care companies in particular, such as Medtronic, Mylan, Actavis, Perrigo, Jazz Pharmaceuticals and Endo, have pursued these “inversion deals”, as they are called, with particular zeal.

The moral of the story is simply this.

When a country forgets what has made it great and instead turns into something quite the opposite, all the reasons for its greatness disappear. And the United States is doing this at a time when it is heavily in debt – the most indebted nation in the world by a long way.

The short-termism of trying to grab as much money as possible from companies and individuals will end in failure and disaster for all. People like Obama try to put a fancy misleading name on it and call it “wealth redistribution”. What it really is, is a major disincentive for anyone to want to set up and do business in the United States.

redistribution-of-wealth

And as you would expect, the idiots in Washington aren’t scratching their heads and wondering why more and more companies are opting to leave the US. Instead the bureaucrats are trying to think of ways to make it illegal for companies like Abbvie to adopt this strategy. 

Treasury Secretary Jacob J. Lew has already sent letters to senior members of Congress, encouraging them to pass legislation halting inversions. The legislation being considered by some lawmakers would be retroactive, and if passed, could impede AbbVie’s ability to reincorporate overseas.

Treasury Secretary Jacob J. Lew

And proving that stupidity is a cross party phenomenon, on Thursday, Senator Orrin G. Hatch, the Utah Republican who is the ranking member of the Senate Finance Committee, responded to calls from the Obama administration to crack down on inversions by saying he supported a short-term fix, although he suggested that the administration’s initial proposal went too far.

Senator Orrin G. Hatch

It seems fairly logical in my mind that the way to stop this growing exodus, which in the longer term will leave the US a lot poorer and a lot more of its citizens out of work, is to legislate to reduce tax bills, not increase them; to give businesses an incentive to invest and expand in the United States, not to drive them away; and to encourage entrepreneurs to relocate TO the US rather than scramble to get out.

Of course, that’s just in my head. All that is in the heads of the idiot bureaucrats in Washington is self-defeating rubbish like increase minimum wages, increase healthcare contributions, increase taxation, introduce capital controls, increase government bureaucracy so more debt is piled up and the USD$ weakens further, and of course start a few more wars to distract the people from the mess that is being made at home.

So, to pose the question in the title of this post again, why are the bureaucrats destroying what made America great?

Your guess is as good as mine, although while some obviously have malicious intent, I wouldn’t entirely rule out plain old stupidity!

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“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Yes, the fact file is open again.

Another random selection covering science, music, history, archaeology, nature and even brain surgery!

Enjoy.

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did you know5

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Women blink twice as much as men.

Women blink twice as much as men

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Picking up baby birds and returning them to their nests

will not cause their mothers to reject them.

baby bird

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It takes food approximately seven seconds

to get from your mouth to your stomach.

mouth to your stomach

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The brain has no pain receptors so it doesn’t feel anything.

This is why doctors are able to perform open brain surgery

on patients that are still awake.

Hannibal Lecter brain

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But brain surgery is not something new.

In the past some cultures practiced “trepanation”,

or the act of drilling holes in the brain

to alleviate pain and cure sickness.

trepanation

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More than 5 million people live in areas

that are considered to be “contaminated”

with radioactive material from the Chernobyl disaster.

Chernobyl disaster

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The body of the last English King to die in battle, Richard III,

was finally found buried under a Leicester car park

in what was one of the most astonishing

archaeological discoveries of the last few decades.

Richard III grave found in Leicester carpark

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The Chinese government

attempted to crack down on gift giving

by banning certain luxury commercials.

The economy immediately started falling.

Chinese government

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Disney Park employees are required to point

with either the whole hand or using two fingers.

This is because some cultures see pointing

with one finger as disrespectful

Disney two finger point

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Dropping a penny from the top of the

Empire State Building would not kill someone

Dropping a penny from the top of the Empire State Building

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Lemur comes from a Latin word that means

“spirit of the dead”.

The person that named them cited their

nocturnal nature as a source of influence.

Lemur

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For many years scientists couldn’t figure out

how the Earth’s solid inner core spins one way

and the liquid outer core spins the other.

Scientists at Leeds University recently found

that the answer lies in a simple “equal and opposite” reaction

based around Earth’s magnetic fields.

Earth’s solid inner core spins one way and the liquid outer core spins the other

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The word “Addict” comes from ancient Rome

when soldiers were awarded slaves known as “addicts”,

which is the Latin word for slave.

It eventually came to refer to a person

who was a slave to anyone or anything.

Addict

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Air Force One is not the name of a specific plane,

but the name of any plane carrying the president.

Air Force One

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The Beatles still hold the record for the

most number-one singles in the Billboard Charts.

They had twenty in all

and their biggest seller was “Hey Jude”.

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“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Welcome to another fact day and a list of very random things that certainly will increase your knowledge base, if you can remember them.

The only way to find out is to read on.

Enjoy.

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did you know1

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The first explorers who discovered the West Indies

thought it was Southeast Asia.

map West Indies

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At Disney there used to be paint brushes

hidden on Tom Sawyer island

and if you found one,

you could present it to the barge driver and

you and your party would get golden Fast Passes.

paint brushes hidden on Tom Sawyer island

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If the average male never shaved,

his beard would be 13 feet long when he died.

long beard

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Sorry to bust a much believed myth,

but sugar does not actually make you hyper,

the whole idea of a “sugar rush” is not real,

in fact, according to recent science from Yale University

it’s all just a placebo effect.

sugar rush myth

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Cracking your knuckles won’t lead to arthritis

cracking-knuckles

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The Chernobyl disaster region has become

one of the world’s most unique wildlife sanctuaries

with thriving populations of wolves, deer,

beavers, eagles, and other animals.

Chernobyl wildlife sanctuary wolf

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Pamphlet comes from the title of a Latin love poem called Pamphilus

that was supposedly passed from person to person

Pamphilus

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A cubic inch of bone is about

four times as strong as concrete.

bone smashing concrete

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The 8 lane, 26 mile long Qingdao Bridge in China

cost 14.8 billion yuan to build

but gets almost no traffic.

The-Jiaozhou-Bay-Bridge-1

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Napoleon was actually taller than the average Frenchman

napoleon height

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Not only is Reno, Nevada, west of Los Angeles,

but so are six other state capitals.

map north america

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William McKinley almost always wore

a red carnation on his lapel as a good luck charm.

While greeting a line of people in 1901, 

he gave the flower to a little girl.

Seconds later, he was shot by an assassin,

and died eight days later.

William McKinley

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Buck, the slang term for an American dollar

comes from the fact that on the American frontier

deerskins were used as units of commerce.

American dollar

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The coldest inhabited place on earth is Oymyakon, Russia,

where sometimes the temperature drops

below freezing in mid September and stays there until May.

The average temperature in January is -46 °C.

The village has a population of less than 500 people.

oymyakon-coldest-village-on-earth-amos-chapple-04

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Hacky-sack was invented in Turkey.

Hacky-sack

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“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Yes, July’s start here.

Another random selection of curious pieces of information.

And another chance for you to find a few things to tell people at the next barby!

Enjoy.

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did you know2

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In Disney’s “Fantasia”, the Sorcerer’s name is

“Yensid”, which is “Disney” backwards.

Yensid

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The Mongolian navy consists of

seven people and one boat.

Mongolian navy

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The pavement between the different ‘worlds’ in the Disney parks changes suddenly.

These sensory ‘tickles’ startle you and make you look up and look around,

realizing that your surroundings have changed.

Pavement 40

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In 1788

the Austrian army accidentally attacked itself

and lost 10,000 men

The-Battle-of-Karansebes

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The attachment of human muscles to skin

is what causes dimples.

dimple

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Nightmare comes from an old English word “mare”

that refers to a demon who suffocates you in your sleep

Nightmare

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Eisenhower played a big role in popularizing golf.

He installed a putting green at the White House

and played more than 800 rounds while in office

— exceeding the record of any other president.

Eisenhower playing golf

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Other than humans, black lemurs are the only

primates that may have blue eyes.

black lemurs blue eyes

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Sheriff came from Shire Reeve.

During early years of feudal rule in England,

each shire had a reeve who was the law for that shire.

When the term was brought to the United States

it was shortned to Sheriff.

ny_shire_reeve_sergeant_hat_badge

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Iowa has more independent telephone companies

than any other state.

Iowa independent telephone companies

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Murphy’s Oil Soap is the chemical most

commonly used to clean elephants.

Murphy's Oil Soap

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Artist Constantino Brumidi

fell from the dome of the U.S. Capitol

while painting a mural around the rim.

He died four months later.

Constantino Brumidi

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There were no squirrels on Nantucket until 1989.

mister red squirrel's lunch

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Blueberry Jelly Bellies were created

especially for Ronald Reagan.

Blueberry Jelly Bellies

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Cathy Rigby is the only woman

to pose nude for Sports Illustrated.

(August 1972)

Cathy Rigby

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“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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It’s an interesting question.

But worry not, I am not going to try to sell you an insurance policy nor even recommend one.

Quite the reverse in fact.

Many people have some kind of life insurance for the financial protection of their families if they should be unfortunate to pass away unexpectedly.

It is usually for enough money to pay off the mortgage with a little left over to provide some kind of income for the wife and kids.

At least that’s how it should be.

dead peasants indursnce

But there is a growing trend for employers to insure their employees. A nice gesture you might think at first. Until you find out that the beneficiary of the insurance would not be the survivors or estate of the insured employee, but the corporate pension plan!

It is unofficially known as “dead peasant” insurance, and hundreds of corporations have already taken out policies worth hundreds of billions of dollars, on thousands of employees, providing companies with a steady stream of income as current and former employees die  –  even decades after they have retired or left the company.

And new “dead peasant”policies worth at least $1 billion are being put in place every year!

Unsurprisingly the greedy money-grabbing banksters are especially fond of the practice. Bank of America’s policies have a cash surrender value of at least $17.6 billion; Wells Fargo’s at least $12.7 billion; and JPMorgan Chase at least $5 billion, according to filings with the Federal Financial Institutions Examination Council.

corporate greed

Of course the tax-men are to blame too – aren’t they always? – because so-called company-owned life insurance offers employers generous tax breaks. For example, company-paid premiums are tax-free, as are any investment returns on the policies and the death benefits eventually received. Although having said that it has to be admitted (grudgingly) that the I.R.S. has taken companies including Winn-Dixie and Camelot Music to court for using such policies as tax avoidance schemes.

Many people faced with a request from an employer to consent to such a policy are too afraid not to comply in case it affects their job or promotion prospects. They shouldn’t be because that would probably be illegal as well as unethical. Class-action lawsuits against several companies with such policies are already underway or have been settled. Several companies, including Walmart, settled the suits, paying millions to low-ranking employees who had been covered.

So if you are uncomfortable with the thought that your company might profit from your death, don’t sign up.

And as for the corporations? I’m as fond of making a few bucks as the next man, but you have to draw a line somewhere and I think corporations should be content with the contribution their employees make to their company profits when they are alive, instead of conniving to profit from their deaths also.

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“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Another fact filled post for you.

The usual random mixture, so pick out the ones you like best.

Enjoy.

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did you know5

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Until 2001 Disney required that all cast members

playing costumed park characters

share communal underwear.

Talk about getting into your pants!

Disney costumed park characters

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Muscle comes from a Latin root meaning ‘little mouse’.

Apparently people used to think muscles

looked like little mice under their skin.

Muscle

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Scotland is as far north as Alaska.

map north america and europe

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NASA lost a Mars orbiter because part of the team

used metric units and the other half used English.

NASA lost a Mars orbiter

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The Chernobyl disaster remains the only level 7 incident

on the International Nuclear Event Scale (INES)

making it the biggest man-made disaster of all time.

Chernobyl disaster

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The US government placed some beer

next to an atomic bomb blast

to determine if it was still drinkable.

The good news is that in the event of a

nuclear war beer is safe to drink.

beer next to an atomic bomb blast

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A full bladder is roughly the size of a soft ball

(a bit bigger than a cricket ball).

soft ball

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Calvin Coolidge would occasionally press all the buttons in the Oval Office,

sending bells ringing throughout the White House

— and then hide to watch his staff run in.

Apparently he just wanted to see who was working.

Calvin Coolidge

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Men with hairless chests are more likely to

get cirrhosis of the liver than men with hair.

hairy chest

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A fact in honor of the World Cup currently underway in Brazil.

The word Soccer actually originated in the United Kingdom.

Association Football was shortened to “socca”

(derived from the middle of the word association).

This turned into the word “soccer”

that is still used in the US, Canada, and Australia.

soccer Brazil World Cup 2014

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The day of his assassination,

Martin Luther King Jr.

got in a pillow fight in his hotel room.

Martin Luther King Jr

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Cows have best friends and they tend

to spend most of their time together.

Cows

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The Dutch discovered Australia 100 years before the British

but decided to ignore it because they thought it was a useless desert.

Crikey!

Australia

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There is a ‘zip bomb’ called 42.zip

that is only 42 kilobytes when zipped,

but is 4.5 Petabytes uncompressed.

Be careful clicking on those email attachments!

42.zip

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4’33? (pronounced “Four minutes, thirty-three seconds”

or just “Four thirty-three”) is a three-movement composition

by American experimental composer John Cage

for any instrument or combination of instruments,

and the score instructs the performer(s) not to play their instrument(s)

during the entire duration of the piece throughout the three movements.

Here it is…… No it’s not. What would be the point of that???

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“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Another selection of random facts including candle clocks and feral cats, and what could be more random than that?

So here we go.

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did you know2

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Russia sold Alaska to the US for 2 cents an acre

because they thought it was a useless tundra.

(Big mistake comrades!)

map Alaska and Russia

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The Chernobyl disaster released

at least 100 times more radiation

than the atom bombs dropped

on Nagasaki and Hiroshima.

chernobyl

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Up to 200 feral cats live in Disneyland

and are tolerated because they eradicate

mice and rats on the property.

feral cats live in Disneyland

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The largest cell in the human body is the female egg,

and the smallest is the male sperm.

ovum-largest-cell-in-the-body-and-sperm-cell-the-smallest-

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There are entire cities all over China

with no people living in them!

China ghost city

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In Germany there are fake bus stops outside many nursing homes

to prevent confused senior citizens from wandering off.

fake-bus-stop

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Twelve book publishers rejected Harry Potter,

a very shrewd move on their part since

the sales of the series is now approaching half a billion!

harry_potter_paperback_set

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Before clocks as we now know them,

there were candle clocks that burned a set amount of hours.

If you wanted an alarm or reminder,

you pushed a nail into the candle at the desired height/time length

and when it melted the nail would fall out and the

noise of it hitting the metal holder would alert you.

candle clock

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Loophole (or murder hole)

originally referred to the slits in castle walls

that archers would shoot their arrows through.

castle-arrow-slits

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NASA has lost over 700 boxes of magnetic data tapes

recorded throughout the Apollo program

including original footage of the moon landing.

They ‘think’ some of them may have

‘accidentally been taped over’.

NASA-Tape

A NASA tape – not one of the ones they lost – because they’re lost!!!

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Harvard University was founded

before calculus was derived.

Harvard University

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Apparently it is possible

to sail a boat from Pakistan to Russia

if you sail in a completely straight line.

sail boat

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There are some trees alive today that

were alive before the pyramids were built.

oldest trees on earth

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Chester A. Arthur was known for his impeccable attire,

earning him the nickname “Elegant Arthur.”

On his last day in office,

four women offered him their hands in marriage.

chester_arthur

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Regarded as his finest song,

David Bowie’s ‘Space Oddity’ purports to tell in only five minutes

a story that can easily serve as the plot to a two-hour sci-fi film.

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“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Get ready to scratch that head.

Another twenty questions for fasab quiz day.

As usual if you get stuck you can find the answers waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay down below, but please, NO cheating!

Enjoy and good luck.

quiz 05.

 

 

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Q.  1:  Who played Cameron Poe in the action movie Con Air?

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Q.  2:  What is the lowest number on the FM dial?

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Q.  3:  We’ve all seen the iconic ‘Jeep’, but approximately how many were built during WWII?

            a) 250,000      b) 450,000      c) 650,000      d) 850,000      or  e) 1,050,000

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Q.  4:  Think about a map of the bottom of South America for this one, what strait separates Chile from Tierra Del Fuego?

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Q.  5:  One of the most famous up-market automobile brands is BMW, but what do the letters ‘B-M-W’ stand for?

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Q.  6:  Who is former government agent ‘Raymond “Red” Reddington’ in the excellent television series ‘The Blacklist’?

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Q.  7:  Founded in 1592, what is the oldest university in the Republic of Ireland called?

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Q.  8:  Founded in 1908 what is the oldest university in Northern Ireland called?

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Q.  9:  How many hot dog buns are in a standard package?

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Q. 10:  What is the capital city of each of the following European countries? (A point for each correct answer, plus a bonus point if you name them all correctly.)

            a) Greece      b) Britain      c) France      d) Spain      e) Portugal      f) Switzerland      

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Q. 11:  Fifty cardinals, two flamingos and six penguins attended the 1963 London premiere of what movie?

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Q. 12:  Mahatma Gandhi qualified in England for which profession before practicing in South Africa and then moving back to India?

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Q. 13:  Name North America’s ‘Great Lakes’? (A point for each correct answer, plus a bonus point if you name them all correctly.)

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Q. 14:  The stirring voices of Anthony Quinn, Richard Burton and Curd Jürgens were all used, albeit in different versions, to narrate what?

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Q. 15:  How many states in the United States of America begin with the letter ‘C’? (Bonus points for each one you name correctly.)

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Q. 16:  What American born actor of the 1930s to the 1950s shares his name with a county in Northern Ireland?

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Q. 17:  Who was allegedly the first Christian Emperor of Rome and founder of Constantinople?

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Q. 18:  Which fruit plays a role in the downfall of Captain Queeg in the movie ‘The Caine Mutiny’?

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Q. 19:  In which year did William Shakespeare die?

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Q. 20:  What member of this musical family was a ‘Long Haired Lover From Liverpool’?

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ANSWERS

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Q.  1:  Who played Cameron Poe in the action movie Con Air?

A.  1:  Nicolas Cage.

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Q.  2:  What is the lowest number on the FM dial?

A.  2:  88.

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Q.  3:  We’ve all seen the iconic ‘Jeep’, but approximately how many were built during WWII?

            a) 250,000      b) 450,000      c) 650,000      d) 850,000      or  e) 1,050,000

A.  3:  The correct answer is c) approximately 650,000 Jeeps were built during WWII.

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Q.  4:  Think about a map of the bottom of South America for this one, what strait separates Chile from Tierra Del Fuego?

A.  4:  The Strait of Magellan. (Sometimes also called The Straits of Magellan.)

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Q.  5:  One of the most famous up-market automobile brands is BMW, but what do the letters ‘B-M-W’ stand for?

A.  5:  ‘BMW’ is an acronym for ‘Bavarian Motor Works’.

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Q.  6:  Who is former government agent ‘Raymond “Red” Reddington’ in the excellent television series ‘The Blacklist’?

A.  6:  James Spader.

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Q.  7:  Founded in 1592, what is the oldest university in the Republic of Ireland called?

A.  7:  Trinity College, aka the University of Dublin.

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Q.  8:  Founded in 1908 what is the oldest university in Northern Ireland called?

A.  8:  Queens University.

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Q.  9:  How many hot dog buns are in a standard package?

A.  9:  8.

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Q. 10:  What is the capital city of each of the following European countries? (A point for each correct answer, plus a bonus point if you name them all correctly.)

            a) Greece      b) Britain      c) France      d) Spain      e) Portugal      f) Switzerland      

A. 10:  a) Athens      b) London      c) Paris      d) Madrid      e) Lisbon        f) Berne

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Q. 11:  Fifty cardinals, two flamingos and six penguins attended the 1963 London premiere of what movie?

A. 11:  The clue was in the question, it was the movie premier of ‘The Birds’.

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Q. 12:  Mahatma Gandhi qualified in England for which profession before practicing in South Africa and then moving back to India?

A. 12:  Law.

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Q. 13:  Name North America’s ‘Great Lakes’? (A point for each correct answer, plus a bonus point if you name them all correctly.)

A. 13:  North America’s ‘Great Lakes’ consist of Lakes ‘Superior’, ‘Michigan’, ‘Huron’, ‘Erie’, and ‘Ontario’.

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Q. 14:  The stirring voices of Anthony Quinn, Richard Burton and Curd Jürgens were all used, albeit in different versions, to narrate what?

A. 14:  Jeff Wayne’s musical version of ‘The War Of The Worlds’. Burton’s was used in the English version, Quinn’s in the Spanish, and Jürgens’ in the German.

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Q. 15:  How many states in the United States of America begin with the letter ‘C’? (Bonus points for each one you name correctly.)

A. 15:  Three states in the US begin with the letter’C’, California, Colorado and Connecticut.

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Q. 16:  What American born actor of the 1930s to the 1950s shares his name with a county in Northern Ireland?

A. 16:  Tyrone Power. County Tyrone is one of the six counties of Northern Ireland.

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Q. 17:  Who was allegedly the first Christian Emperor of Rome and founder of Constantinople?

A. 17:  Constantine The Great.

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Q. 18:  Which fruit plays a role in the downfall of Captain Queeg in the movie ‘The Caine Mutiny’?

A. 18:  Strawberries.

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Q. 19:  In which year did William Shakespeare die?

A. 19:  It should be an easy one to remember, the year was 1616.

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Q. 20:  What member of this musical family was a Long Haired Lover From Liverpool?

A. 20:  Little Jimmy Osmond. Here it is…. Sorry!

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“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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How often have you seen “The Opportunity Of A Lifetime” pop up on the internet or in your email?

This time it’s different, though.

This time it’s true!

Well, sort of.

stupid dog cartoon

Because this is your chance to own what is possibly the stupidest dog in the world.

And it won’t cost you anything either, we’re giving him away to the first good home

FOR FREE!!!

If you are stupid, and you want a companion at least as stupid as you are, if not more so, this is the perfect dog for you.

His name is ‘Scotty’, (and, yes, I have asked to be “beamed up” several times), but don’t let the name put you off.

You can call him anything you like, ‘Rover’, ‘Patch’, ‘Lassie’, ‘Monday’, ‘Tuesday’, ‘Wednesday’, ‘November’, or whatever, because it’s all the same to him – this dog is so dumb he doesn’t even know his own name.

His lack of knowledge is on such a vast scale I’m astounded the known Universe is expanding rapidly enough to contain it.

He doesn’t know how to sit. He doesn’t know how to stay. He doesn’t know how to come, or to stop, or to heel, or anything you can teach a normal dog to do.

He just doesn’t know anything.

And you won’t have to waste your time and money training him either, because this dog just cannot learn. Believe me I have done my best!

He is painfully stupid in at least the four different languages we have tried. He doesn’t speak English, nor does he hablar español, he hasn’t a clue how to parler francais, and you might as well try to speak klingon as sprechen Deutsch to him.

A big plus is that he is small and won’t eat you out of house and home. All you have to remember to do is buy cat food and not dog food and you’ll be fine. The cat beats him up every time he eats her food, but he doesn’t learn from that either. I don’t think he even knows he’s a dog.

The only one thing he has learned, is not to shit in the house, but in truth I think this has more to do with the fact that every time he tried he discovered he couldn’t with my toe up his arse.

He barks at strangers, which is good. And if he left it at that we wouldn’t mind.

But he also barks at people he knows, or rather, people he should know if he had the brains to remember who they were, which he hasn’t.

And some of the time he barks at nothing at all. It can go on for ages because, when he does bark at nothing, he must hear his own bark, think it’s another dog, and off he goes. Sometimes you can look at his face and watch him trying to figure it out.

“Woof!”

“Who said that? Grrrrr.”

“Woof!”

“There it is again!”

“Woof! Snarl.”

“WTF?”

“Woof!  Woof! Woof!”

“There’s another dog here somewhere.”

“Woof! Woof! Woof! Woof!”

And on it goes for a while, until it stops for no reason, the same way it started.

He also doesn’t know his left back leg belongs to him. When he notices it is there, he attacks it as if it is another animal trying to insert itself into his leg socket. I’ve seen other dogs chasing their tail, but this is just ridiculous.

stupid dog zone sign

Finally, every time the front gate is opened, he has taken to running down the street after bicycles and motorbikes – that he doesn’t know how to ride – and after cars and other vehicles – that he doesn’t know how to drive. What he would do with them if he ever caught one I just don’t know! Neither does he, but he does it anyway.

Somehow, and I find this rather incredible – and disappointing – he has always managed to find his way back home. I think it’s because he tries every other house on the way back and we are the only one silly enough to let him back in. I’ve told everyone to pretend they don’t know him when he turns up and he’ll just move on to the next house and then next, but they won’t listen to me.

So come on good people of the blogsphere, which of you is going to take advantage of this incredible opportunity of a lifetime?

You know how much I love dogs, I’ve said so before on this blog, but please get in touch as soon as you can and take this stupid dog off our hands before I crack up completely!

My father gave me a lot of good advice, and one of the things he told me many years ago was never to get a dog whose arsehole was bigger than its brain.

I should have listened! 

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