Posts Tagged ‘intelligence’

Many Happy Returns Webby!

Posted: May 10, 2014 in bankers, Business, Computers, Current Events
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“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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World-Wide-Web

The World Wide Web, created by Sir Tim Berners-Lee, turned 25 years old this year, 2014.

There has never been anything like it before, certainly not as regards the impact it has made on society and the way we live our lives. Many of those changes are good, many are not so good and a few are downright annoying.

Here’s my take on some of them.

To concentrate on the good parts first, the one thing the www has done, for those who can use it effectively, is to give access to information that was previously only available to the elite few who managed to claw their way into the lofty heights of academia, or who worked in places where information was readily available. Now the same information is accessible at the touch of a button to anyone and everyone with a smart phone, tablet or computer.

Another benefit, in my view anyway, is that is has sent a massive wake-up call to telephone providers world wide, many of whom were fast asleep, content to rake in healthy profits from antiquated systems. No longer do we have to settle for slow and temperamental data transfer lines. Nowadays, particularly in the last few years, people are demanding systems that can cope with download streams in the gigabyte range. If you are old enough to remember the first modems you will know you wasted too much of your life trying to download at 12Kb/sec., sometimes less.

Freedom is also a welcome by-product of the World Wide Web.

The freedom to work in any country in the world, from virtually any country in the world is one big plus – it is for me anyhow. Another one I particularly like is the freedom to watch TV programs that I like, when I like, no longer tied to the schedules of some brainless bean-counter working for a broadcasting company. And the freedom to have your say on things as and when the mood takes you – they call that blogging don’t you know! – is also a great advantage to the ordinary person.

www words

As is the freedom to disseminate information across the globe instantly, as Mr Snowden ably demonstrated, although I would hazard a guess that the powers that be would not agree with me on that one.

Indeed, this is the one aspect of the www that really bothers big brother.

China for example is one country where access is controlled by the state. Coincidentally this year also marks the anniversary of the Tiananmen Square massacre, you’ll find articles about that if you do a search, but probably not in China. They get away with it because they are not a democracy and do not pretend to be one.

In other countries, like the good old Land Of The (Not So) Free (Anymore)), the powers still like to con their people into believing that they are living in a democratic nation and that the people have the power to vote for this or that. But think for a moment, when was the last time you got to vote on whether to start a war, or whether to give $billions of your money to the greedy banksters to pay themselves huge bonuses and gamble away the rest?

It is because they need to keep the pretence of democracy going, that they do not yet have the confidence to start overtly censoring the internet. But they do all they can to snoop on what people are reading, or writing, or looking at.

This is where the freedom the www and associated technology provides can also be a negative, when it is used by governments to surveil us and record every piece of data they can. If they were doing this selectively and targeting terrorists and criminals no one would be too worried. But they are doing it to all of us, guilty and innocent alike.

big brother is watching

They are also doing everything they can think of to impose taxes on internet commerce – of course they have to coz they’re stoney broke.

The www has revolutionized business practices and created all sorts of new commerce opportunities, Amazon perhaps being the best example of a company that has gone from nothing to a multi-billion dollar business in just a few years.

Communication and social interaction are also areas where the www has liberated the ordinary person – first with email and more recently with social media. In the near future expect to see social media expanding to become much more than individual platforms such as Facebook or Twitter. We are already seeing many new applications that are allowing people to communicate more widely, more easily and more often.

social media

Another negative is that the World Wide Web has unwittingly facilitated the proliferation of pornography and violence, and is teaching a generation of morons all the wrong things. Things that will ensure they become a burden on society, not an asset.

And it has also opened a whole new environment in which criminals can operate. Millions of dollars are being stolen every day through scams, confidence tricks and outright theft.

You could say (and I frequently do) that people dumb enough to fall for these scams deserve all they get, or all they lose, is perhaps a better way of putting it. You know, the idiots who believe they really have won a lottery they didn’t buy a ticket for, or who think that Dr Umbungo Watanga from Nigeria is being truthful when he tells them that someone they never heard of has left them $25 million and all they need to do is send all their personal details and a few thousand dollars to unlock the fortune that awaits them. There really is one born every minute it seems!

All that said, and twenty-five years on, the www is still in its infancy. We have come a long way in the past 25 years, but we have really only scratched the surface as regards what the web has the potential to do to further improve our daily lives.

Where the vision to develop the www will come from in anyone’s guess. The only thing we know for sure is that the initiative won’t come from governments or their bureaucratic servants, simply because the people we elect to those positions do not have the required intelligence.

So its up to you. If you have any great ideas you want to share, send me an email.

Sir Tim Berners-Lee

Sir Tim Berners-Lee, the man who created the World Wide Web.

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“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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The Sunday Sermon

black_hawk_down

You may remember, more because of the movie than anything else probably, an incident in 1993 called ‘Black Hawk Down’ which caused American troops to leave Somalia.

At that time they had been stationed there as part of a United Nations ‘stabilization’ operation – whatever that is.

President Clinton abandoned that effort after the ‘Battle of Mogadishu’ in which nearly 20 American soldiers were killed and horrific images of their bodies being dragged through the streets by Somalia militiamen had been seen all over the world on television.

Since then American military and intelligence efforts have been in the form of funding the Somalia military and using remotely controlled drones to keep an eye on what is happening on the ground and perhaps more.

Or so we thought. After all, the last thing we want to do is get bogged down again on the ground in such an inhospitable place.

Cue the Obama administration and guess what? Yep, the US Army has once again secretly stationed a group of regular troops in Somalia. Since October last year a “military coordination cell” has been established in Somalia that, to quote the officer in charge, “is now fully operational”.

I’m not sure even Obama knows what they are there to do. There isn’t an American embassy to protect and they would hardly be there to draw unwanted attention to the people from charlie india alpha, would they?

Official sources say the army unit has been tasked with “advising and coordinating” operations by African troops against al-Shabaab, the al-Qaeda-linked group that controls large parts of Somalia.

Okay, so let’s say US forces have been deployed in Africa as part of the war against terror.

So perhaps that establishes what US Foreign Policy strategy is, i.e. to fight the war against terror.

Doesn’t it?

Well, no.

Let’s move a bit further north-east. To Syria in fact.

For the past while the US has been covertly backing the anti-Assad forces in the Syrian conflict. Seemed to make sense since Assad is friends with the likes of Iran and Russia. Except for the fact that the anti-Assad forces were in fact made up of the same type of al-Qaeda-linked groups that the US is against in Somalia.

Confused? You should be.

If there was any principle involved they would have been better not backing either side. But of course principle and politics rarely mix.

And just to add to the confusion it was confirmed last week that secret meetings have been held between ‘Western intelligence officials’ and senior members of the Syrian government, aimed at “combating radical Islamist groups” in Syria.

But wait!

Maybe it IS all beginning to make sense. At least we can detect a consistent pattern emerging, and it seems to be this:

  • ignore the long term dangers, and fund and supply terrorist groups just because they happen to be at odds with people you don’t like; and then when you realize what a mess you’ve made, send in American troops to correct the mistake, never mind that they are going to get killed and maimed by weapons paid for by America.

American foreign policy has been a shambles for decades. It doesn’t get better by repeating the same mistakes over and over again.

America has the strength and the military power to police the world, of that there is no doubt. But does that mean it really has to? Especially when the policy to direct such a strategy is made by incompetent politicians who clearly do not understand the world they are trying to police.

Confusion and failure has been and will be the result. That and the needless sacrifice of the brave souls whose job it is to clear up the mess.

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“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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The Sunday Sermon.

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If you have read any of my previous entries in the politics section of this blog you will already be aware of my extremely low opinion of the intelligence of those in America who are in charge of foreign policy.

These idiots blunder about knowing little of history or tradition in other nations and make quick reaction judgments that are short sighted and that have continually come back to bite them on the ass.

Well, not them exactly, but the poor servicemen and women who are sent in to mop up their messes.

So what has got me ranting this time?

Only the fact that the morons in charge are currently negotiating what is being called ‘a groundbreaking agreement’ that will give American nuclear know-how to the country where Osama Bin Laden and the vast majority of the 9/11 terrorists came from.

Yes, Saudi Arabia.

Coat_of_arms_of_Saudi_Arabia

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The short-sighted US strategy is probably to assist an ally (an oil rich one, of course) to make it an unconquerable target for any of the other states in the area who have expansionist plans for the future.

Great – while the Saud family stay in control, or while a sensible member of the Saud family is in charge.

But what happens if, sometime down the road, the ruling dynasty is overthrown? Not an unknown occurrence in the Middle East. Or what happens if one day there is the equivalent of an ‘Osama’ in the Saud family just as there was in the Bin Laden family?

And what happened to all those non proliferation agreements designed to keep dangerous weapons out of the hands of those incapable of handling them sensibly?

The last thing the Middle East needs is yet another country developing nuclear weapons capability. It doesn’t take a genius to figure that one out.

If the consequences were not so potentially tragic, it would be fun watching the political morons in Washington justifying going to war to take nuclear capability away from Iran, which at least holds democratic elections, yet at the same time giving nuclear capability to Saudi Arabia which is an undemocratic dictatorship.

Not even the most devout liberal could spin that one to make it sound good!

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Mushroom-Cloud

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“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Intelligence seems to be the only thing in jeopardy as far as these quiz show contestants are concerned!

Another array of dumb answers to look at.

Enjoy.

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Q: On December 4, 1783, George Washington bade his officers farewell at this New York City tavern.     

A: What is the Whiskey-A-Go-Go?

cherry tree

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Q: This term for a long handled gardening tool can also mean an immoral pleasure seeker.         

A: What is a hoe?

hoe

Q: By the 4th century AD, Rome had 28 public ones stacked with rolls of papyrus          

A: What are public toilets?

papyrus

Q: It’s the southernmost city of the continental United States.     

A: What is West Virginia?

west_virginia_map_glass_blowing_cartoon

Q: He was born in India in 1841.

A: Who is Alex Trebek?

Alex Trebek

Q: Hedda Tesman, Helen Alving, Knut Brovik     

A: Who are three people that have never been in my kitchen?

Kitchen cartoon

Q: In which of the three daily meals are you most likely to eat fatty foods?         

A: Meat

meat

Q: Bourbon whiskey is named after Bourbon County, located in what state?       

A: England

Goose-Island-Cherry-Rye-Bourbon-County

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Q: Prior to 1984, what was the last year the United States participated in the Summer Olympics? 

A: 1936

olympic-runner-copyright4

Q: On the middle row of a standard keyboard, what key should your left pinky rest on?  

A: ASDF

Keyboard

Q: What chocolate bar is named after the Roman god of war?    

A: Snickers

snickers

Q: What ‘G’ is a brand of animal shaped cheddar crackers introduced by Pepperidge Farm in 1962?        

A: Oreos

oreo1

Q: How many red stripes are there on the American flag?           

A: 50

American Flag

Q: What ‘H’ is the general term for a six-sided two-dimensional shape?   

A: Trapezoid

Trapezoid1

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Q: According to the proverb, the daily consumption of what piece of fruit keeps the doctor away?          

A: Banana

banana cartoon

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“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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It wouldn’t be a Monday without another selection of answers given by members of the public on television and radio quiz shows, where all that’s required to feature is a brain by-pass. As usual the hapless contestants employ all devices to come up with an answer  –  all devices that is except for intelligence and logic.

Read on and you’ll see.

Enjoy.

 

 

Q: Name something a man might ask for if he made a deal with the devil

A: Greed

 

 

Q: Name something people pitch          

A: Tower

 

 

Q: Name a magazine that a mother would love to see her son on the cover of     

A: USA Today  

 

 

Q: Name a famous magician     

A: Tom Cruise

 

 

Q: Name something a man might do to look good that he doesn’t want people to know about     

A: Stuff his pants

 

 

Q: Name a fruit found in fruitcake          

A: Booze

 

 

Q: An appliance you can’t live without   

A: Spatula

 

 

Q: Name a bill that’s always more than you expected it to be      

A: $100 bill

A: $50 bill

 

 

Q: Name a place you go to, to listen to music   

A: iPod

 

 

Q: Name something you should do in moderation or you’ll be sorry later 

A: Sex 

 

 

Q: Name a card game that’s easy to cheat at     

A: Checkers     

 

 

Q: Name a famous resort area outside of the continental United States   

A: Tahoe

 

 

Q: Name a time when people go to bed 

A: Night

 

 

Q: Name a TV show that took place on an island, past or present           

A: Miami Vice

A: General Hospital

 

 

Q: Name a real person who made a living scaring people           

A: Red Skelton 

 

 

Q: How often your parents punished you as a child        

A: 5 times

 

 

Q: The city with the world’s greatest art collections         

A: Europe

 

 

Q: Name a food people give as a gift   

A: Lasagna

 

 

Q: Name something people associate with a sumo wrestler        

A: Exposed buttocks

A: Their shoes  

 

 

Q: Name a road sign that describes your love life          

A: Do not enter

A: Slippery When Wet

 

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“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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No, I’m not tilting at windmills, not just yet anyhow. And despite the play on words in the title, nor am I referring to Cervantes character Don Quixote. This post actually does concern a donkey, though. In fact animals in general.

It is a little known fact that donkeys kill more people than plane crashes. And at the end of August I read about a small town Texas mayor who was killed in an attack by his own donkey. He was Bill Bohlke and he was Mayor of Hollywood Park in Atascosa County, Texas.

That unfortunate event set me thinking of a number of things.

First I asked myself how the heck you pronounced his surname.

Then I wondered if Mayor Bohlke was a Republican or Democrat and how macabre it would have been if the donkey had done away with his elephant man rival.

And then I thought about the amazing and different ways people find to leave the mortal coil. I bet, like most of us, the last thing Mayor Bohlke thought was that some day he would meet his end from an attack from a randy donkey!

And then I marveled at how so many people, for no logical reason, have a romantic fantasy notion that animals are not inherently dangerous. They are.

And this is true for people who work with them every day and should know better.

For example, when I was growing up I would spend time at my uncle’s farm. He had a herd of one hundred or more dairy cows and every evening when I was there my cousin and myself would be sent out to the fields to bring the cows in for milking.

We had a couple of great little collie dogs to help us, not that much help was needed because the cows had a routine and once they heard us calling for them they made their way to the field gate and up the lane to the milking parlor, glad no doubt that they were about to be relieved of their burden once more.

With them came the bull. A huge brute of an animal and unbelievably strong. But he was docile enough, walked up with his herd of ‘wives’ and while they made their way into the queue for the milking machines he would usually lie down in the hayshed and munch on some of the hay.

As innocent (dumb) kids we would sometimes sit down beside him, even using him as a prop to lean against. He didn’t seem to mind a bit, we thought he was glad of the company perhaps.

Then one day as the herd was being ushered back out to the fields Mr Bull totally out of the blue decided he would like to kill my uncle.

Luckily us kids had our chore done in bringing the herd in to get milked. When the time came to take them back out again we were engaged on other vital business, I can’t remember exactly what but I’m sure it involved football, playing cowboys and Indians, fending off some galactic foe who was attacking earth that day, or some such vital stuff. But we could hear the commotion in the distance.

Furious about something, only he knew what, the bull roared angrily and ran towards my uncle who had been leading the way. With his head lowered he hit my uncle between his lower back and his knees and threw him up into the air like a rag doll – and my uncle was a BIG man. Very fortunately the bull tossed him into the air with such force that he went clean over the raised fence and hedge on the right hand side of the lane and ended up in one of the fields. 

The crazy bull then tried to go after him but couldn’t get up the steep embankment on which the fence had been constructed. Another cousin, quite a bit older than us, saw the attack. He was in a tractor and he immediately had the presence of mind to use that to take the bull’s attention away from my uncle. The distraction seemed to work, because as suddenly as it had started it was over and things were back to normal.

But my uncle had learned a valuable lesson. Animals can be dangerous.

So had I, even though I wasn’t there at the time, but from then on I haven’t been a fan of bulls – not in Chicago or Wall Street either come to think of it.

Unfortunately Mayor Bohlke wasn’t so lucky with his donkey.

I wonder if it happened something like this???

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“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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There was a lot of love for the short series of quotes from George Carlin. I was pleased that he is remembered well and still giving amusement to people, despite no longer being with us.

Today I have a selection of other witty sayings, not attributed to anyone in particular, but in the same spirit as last week’s post.

I hope you enjoy these too.

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Dickson’s Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.

 

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

 

Sex is like air; it’s not important unless you aren’t getting any.

 

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

 

One good turn gets most of the blankets.

 

There are two kinds of pedestrians — the quick and the dead.

 

Life is sexually transmitted.

 

An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.

 

If quitters never win, and winners never quit, then who is the fool who said “Quit while you’re ahead”?

 

ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI. (One for the nerds and geeks to LTAO.) 

 

Willie was a Chemist, But Willie is no more, What Willie thought was H2O Was H2SO4.

 

A closed mouth gathers no feet.

 

Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

 

It’s not hard to meet expenses, they’re everywhere.

 

Jury — Twelve people who determine which client has the better lawyer.

 

Never lick a gift horse in the mouth.

 

The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

 

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.

 

Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage, the ‘Y’ becomes silent.

 

If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.

 

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“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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It’s not often that I post twice in one day. I did the funny post earlier but there is something else that I want to say and today is the day to say it. Strap yourselves in!

I don’t remember where I was when JKF was shot. It was a bit too far back in time for me to be worrying about such things. I do remember where I was when I saw my first movie about the assassination, though. I was in a cinema. The movie was called Executive Action and starred Burt Lancaster. Some critics panned it at the time but I thought it was very good, based on a conspiracy theme naturally enough. I actually thought it was better that Stone’s acclaimed effort, ‘JFK’, made many years later.

I also remember where I was this day eleven years ago. It was the day that the world changed for ever and I was sitting in my study at home battling with a few spreadsheets for a business plan I was putting together. The TV was on in the background and the normal programs suddenly cut to what was happening in New York.

 

World Trade Center, New York City,   September 11,  2001

World Trade Center, New York City, September 11, 2001

Of course that was the end of my spreadsheets for the day. I became totally enthralled in the news coverage which was to say the least confused. By that time the first tower was belching out a steady stream of smoke. It was clearly on fire and had been very badly damaged.

The reporters were speculating as to what may have been the cause. They talked about ‘accidents’ and eyewitness reports of a small private aircraft hitting the building. But, to anyone with any wit at all, it had to have been much more than a small airplane to do that amount of damage to a building that huge.

Then, as I continued to watch, the second plane hit the other tower. Some of the reporters still could not come to grips with what was happening. The second plane was clearly a large commercial jet and, equally clearly, it had been flown deliberately into the second tower.

This was the real deal. And all of the multi-billion dollar military/intelligence defense network had been caught with their trousers down round their collective ankles.

A massive terror attack was in progress and we were able to watch it in real time on our televisions. It was at the same time mesmerizing, engrossing and, not least, horrifying.

The horrific nature of what had happened became clearer when everyone began to realize that, not only had many innocent people probably lost their lives when the airplanes had struck the buildings, but also that there was little or no hope of saving those on the floors above where the impact had occurred. It got even worse when some of the trapped people threw themselves out of the building and could been seen falling to the ground and to certain death.

Emergency services rushed to the scene. Many acts of extreme bravery followed as police and firefighters went into the burning buildings with little or no regard for their own safety. I can’t say this for sure, but I imagine at least some of them knew there was little chance they would get back out again. But they did it anyway.

Then we heard that the Pentagon had been the target of a further attack and yet another airplane, also bound we were told for the Washington DC area, had gone down somewhere en route.

In all 2,977 people were murdered as a result of the terrorist attacks that morning.

We know who was responsible for the attacks. We know that many of their terrorist comrades, including the figurehead Bin Laden, have since been killed. And we know the terrible cost in terms of lost lives and serious injuries to the various armed forces who were sent to do that job.

September 11 is now officially ‘Patriot Day’, a day of remembrance. And we should all take at least a moment in honor of the victims.

Sadly the aftermath of these terrorist attacks eleven years ago brought only knee-jerk reactions from jerk politicians. They had the audacity to call it the Patriot Act, but it attacks the freedom of innocent law-abiding citizens just as much as it does the terrorists and criminals.

Contaminated by the hellish liberal inspired ‘guilt’ that now pervades all government decisions and means that it is no longer perceived as acceptable if we take our own side in a fight, a raft of idiotic, unnecessary and unfair legislation has, and is, being enacted.

This is being done in the name of defending the homeland, but unwilling to only target the national, ethnic or religious groups who are responsible for the vast majority of the terror, poor old law-abiding Joe Public gets targeted as well.

Everyone is now guilty until they can prove their innocence. Get on an airplane at an airport and you are treated as a potential terrorist and irradiated and probed and so forth. Open a bank account and you are treated as a potential terrorist trying to launder money – despite the fact that it was the banks themselves who were doing that job.

It’s not that any of this is a great hardship. It’s just that it is completely unnecessary and unproductive. It is the typical politician’s and bureaucrat’s way of trying to con the populace by substituting activity for real progress.

A lot of potential terrorist attacks in America and elsewhere have been thwarted during the past eleven years, but not one of them as a result of all the overt claptrap at airports and so forth.

Will it change? Will sanity and intelligence take over?

Not a chance.

Will it get worse? Will the bureaucrats’ hunger for control and interference increase?

Of course it will, regardless of whether the regime is Republicrat or Democrican.

So who really did win?

The terrorists may well have lost, but the people certainly didn’t win! 

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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This blog is about highlighting stupidity and hopefully doing it in an entertaining way – well, most of the time anyhow. There are a lot of ways to describe someone or something that is stupid.

Here is a short list that I found on the internet (plus I’ve added a couple of my own favorites). Some of them are quite amusing.

If you have a favorite or know of any others please send them. I’d be more than happy to add them to my list. 

Enjoy.

 

A few clowns short of a circus.

A few fries short of a happy meal.

A few beers short of a six pack.

A few peas short of a casserole.

The wheel’s spinning, but the hamster’s dead.

One fruit loop shy of a full bowl.

All foam, no beer.

The cheese slid off his cracker.

Body by Fisher, brains by Mattel.

Warning: Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear.

Couldn’t pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.

He fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down.

An intellect rivaled only by garden tools.

As smart as bait.

Doesn’t have all his dogs on one leash.

Elevator doesn’t go all the way to the top floor.

Forgot to pay his brain bill.

Her sewing machine’s out of thread.

His antenna doesn’t pick up all the channels.

His belt doesn’t go through all the loops.

Proof that evolution CAN go in reverse.

Receiver is off the hook.

Several nuts short of a full pouch.

Skylight leaks a little.

Slinky’s kinked.

Too much yardage between the goal posts.

The light is on but there’s nobody home.

Dumber than a rock.

Dumber than dirt.

Few bulbs missing from the chandelier.

Not the brightest bulb on the tree.

He’s got a plug wire missing.

He’s a quart and half low.

I got sock fuzz smarter than that.

A cup of decaf in latte world.

As obvious as fart in flower factory.

Dumber than a dead cat.

Not playing with a full deck.

Missing a few ding dongs in his box.

 

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Personally I think its bad luck to be superstitious. Nevertheless a lot of people think that a Friday which falls on the 13th of the month is a day where ‘luck’ tends to be bad rather than good. Today they might have something – here’s another test :o(

As usual some are difficult, some are easy and some are just tricky, but you can fine the answers way down below 

 

1.  July and August are two consecutive months with 31 days each. What other two consecutive months have 31 days each?

 

 

2.  What is the opposite of not good?

 

 

3.  Two girls played four games of checkers. Each girl won 3 games. How can this be?

 

 

4.  Two mothers and two daughters went to lunch. The meal for each came to $1.10. The total bill for all the meals came to $3.30. How did this happen?

 

 

5.  Which of the following sentences is correct?

Nine and five are thirteen.
or
Nine and five is thirteen.

 

 

6.  What states contain just four letters, three of which are vowels?

 

 

7.  “How much will 1 cost?” “20 cents,” says the clerk in the hardware store. 
“And how much will twelve cost?”

“40 cents.”
“Okay, I’ll take nine hundred twelve.”

“That will be 60 cents.”
What was the customer buying?

 

 

8.  What types of animals can jump higher than a house?

 

 

9.  Rearrange the letters of NEW DOOR to make one word.

 

 

10. What familiar continuum is expressed by the following words:

flushed, New Jersey town, cowardly, naive, depressed, dye-stuff, flower.

 

 

11. In the following line of letters, cross out six letters so that the remaining letters, without altering their sequence, will spell a familiar English word. 

B S A I N X L E A T N T E A R S

 

 

12. Give the first names of the following people:
Dante, Rembrandt, Michelangelo

 

 

13. An eskimo, even if he and his family are on the verge of starvation, will not attempt to eat a Penguin’s egg. Why?

 

 

14. What is the main characteristic of an Hawaiian snake?

 

 

15. Supply the missing number: 77, 49, 36, 18, ____ .

 

 

16. Spell JOKE.
      Spell FOLK.
      Spell POKE. 
      Spell the word which means the white of an egg.

 

 

17. Kansas City and St. Louis are 240 miles apart. A train leaves Kansas City travelling towards St. Louis at 60 mph; another leaves St. Louis at the same time, travelling towards Kansas City at 40 mph. Which train will be farther from St. Louis when they meet?

 

 

18. If a man is 6 feet tall and weighs 300 pounds, how many hard boiled eggs can he eat on an empty stomach?

 

 

19. A child is born in Boston, Mass., to parents who were both born in Boston, Mass. The child is not a U.S. citizen. How is this possible?

 

 

20. Carrie Cotter was born on December 27, yet her birthday is always in the summer. How is this possible?

 

 

21. What 8 letter word has 7 consonants and 1 vowel?

 

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ANSWERS

 

1.  December and January.

 

2.  good.

 

3.  They did not play each other.

 

4.  There were just three women — grandmother, mother, daughter.

 

5.  Neither is correct — 9 + 5 = 14.

 

6.  Ohio, Iowa.

 

7.  House Numbers.

 

8.  All animals — houses can’t jump.

 

9.  ONE WORD.

 

10. Colors of the Rainbow.

Red, Orange, Yellow, Green, Blue, Indigo, Violet.

 

11. B A N A N A (Cross out the letters: S I X L E T T E R S)

 

12. They are the first names.

 

13. Eskimo is at the North Pole; Penquins are at the South Pole.

 

14. They don’t exist.

 

15.  8.

 

16. A L B U M E N (NOT yolk! — that’s the yellow part!)

 

17. When they meet, they are the same distance from St. Louis.

 

18. Just one. After that, his stomach isn’t empty.

 

19. The child was born before 1776.

 

20. Carrie lives in the Southern Hemisphere.

 

21. STRENGTH. There may be others…