Apparently Towels Are The Biggest Cause Of Dry Skin.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

.

I couldn’t make my mind for a while whether that title was a pun or a fabulous fact.

But it’s Pun Day, so a play on words it is.

Enjoy or endure!

.

rofl

.

My uncle works for a company

that makes bicycle wheels.

He’s the Spokesman.

bicycle wheel spokes

.

.

Police, “You’re under arrest for trespassing.”

Me, “On what grounds?”

no trespassing sign

.

.

I know a guy who in his spare time likes to dress up as a knight,

and jump over 20 parked cars on a horse.

I call him Medieval Knievel.

Medieval Knight

.

.

Having fake teeth.

That’ll denture confidence

dentures

.

.

I actually tried plane sailing the other day….

It’s not as easy as it’s made out to be.

cartoon plane sailing

.

.

Why do elephants have big ears?

Because Noddy wouldn’t pay the ransom.

Big Ears

.

.

My wife always gets annoyed when I leave her out.

Especially if it’s raining.

woman in rain

.

.

Arkansas is just Kansas with pirates.

Pirates

.

.

Once when I was in Chicago I did 35 press-ups in a row…

The elevator attendant looked pretty annoyed.

elevator buttons

.

.

I’ve spent my entire life researching the multiples of zero,

my career has amounted to nothing. 

lots of zeros

.

.

I asked my friend the other day, “Where’s your mum from?”

He replied, “Alaska.”

I said, “Don’t worry, I’ll ask her myself.”

Alaska

.

.

I saw a man with a trolley

full of horseshoes and rabbits’ feet earlier,

trying to get it up a hill.

I thought, “He’s pushing his luck.”

horseshoes and rabbits' feet

.

.

Some people say it’s sick and perverted to be a flasher.

I think it shows a lot of balls.

cartoon flasher

.

.

A Zen master once said to me,

“Do the opposite of whatever I tell you.”

So I didn’t.

cartoon zen master

.

.

I was referred to Dr. Dre the other day,

I have to go in for a hip-hoperation.

.

.

============================================

.