"Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy"
“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”
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Time to relax for the weekend.
Here are a few funny animal fotos to help.
Some are natural shots, others have been helped a little with human input but I hope you find most of them amusing.
Enjoy.
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Foreclosure!
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“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”
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And they said it wouldn’t last.
Yes we are at part twenty-three of the classified ad disasters and the stupidity shows no sign of abating – thank goodness.
Here’s the latest batch.
Enjoy.
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and finally, at last a sport I could do really well,
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“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”
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Yet another selection of those jokes you love to hate.
I wouldn’t guarantee the politically correctness of some of them, but enjoy them if you can!
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How do Welsh people cross the road?
Caerphilly!
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Are dwarfs the lowest form of human life?
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What are the rules of gay poker?
Queens are wild and straights don’t count.
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I had a mate who was suicidal.
He was really depressed, so I pushed him in front of a steam train.
He was chuffed to bits.
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A little old lady takes her dead cats to a taxidermist to be stuffed.
“Would you like them mounted?” asked the taxidermist.
“Oooo no….” says the lady, “just snuggled up next to each other.”
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A woman in the pharmacy sees a deal offering 5 boxes of tampons for a dollar.
She can’t believe how good the deal is and asks the manager, “Is that price correct?”
“Sure is,” says the manager, “It’s a special offer, 5 boxes for a dollar and there are no strings attached!”
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Did you hear about the gay carpenter?
He always left a saw behind!
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A psychotic rapist escaped recently from a mental institution for the criminally insane. He ran across the street to the laundromat hoping to find a change of clothes. Inside, he discovered two women, and forced them to have sex. Then he fled out the back door.
The next day the local newspaper headline read, “NUT SCREWS WASHERS AND BOLTS!”
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Irish bloke walks into a pub and says, “Drink of orange please landlord.”
The landlord asks, “Still orange?”
Irish fella replies, “Yes, I haven’t changed my mind.”
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Two blondes walk into a building…
Wow, you’d think at least one of them would have seen it.
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What do you call a bloke with a one inch penis?
Justin.
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After announcing he’s getting married, a Scotsman tells his pal he’ll be wearing a kilt.
‘And what’s the tartan?’ asks the mate.
‘Oh, she’ll be wearing a white dress.’ he replies.
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Two parrots on a perch.
One turns to the other and says, “Can you smell fish?”
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What qualifications do you need to be a road sweeper?
None.
You just pick it up as you go along!
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Good King Wenseslas called his local pizza parlour.
“Would you like your usual, sir?”
“Oh yes,” he replied. “Deep pan: crisp and even.”
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A customer is ordering food in an Indian restaurant.
“Waiter, what’s this Chicken Tarka?”
The waiter replies, “it’s the same as Chicken Tikka, but it’s a little ‘Otter.”
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“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”
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I have been featuring a lot of questions that no one asked but that needed asking.
Stupid people, however, tend to get worried about things that don’t matter and ask questions that don’t need to be asked. They are obviously important to them, but not to anyone else.
Here are some stupid questions asked by stupid people about stupid things.
Do yourself a favor and just read these and (hopefully) have a laugh. Do not try to figure out why they were asked or what they mean. If you get too far inside the mind of a moron you may never make it back out again!
Enjoy!
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Does anyone know the brand of soap Deer don’t like that I can put around my garden to keep them out?
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What mother sauce does Alfredo come from?
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Is there any relation between cool music and rain?
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What is the opposite of science?
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What are the three essential parts of a crisis?
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If someone you loved turned into a zombie, would you be able to put them out of their misery?
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What determines the life span of animals?
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Which kind of cheating is the worst?
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Why are so many more people allergic to cats than to dogs?
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Would you eat steak made from human excrement?
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How long does a mature worm live?
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“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”
I’ve said before that I’m a doggie person. But we have a cat and a dog that thinks it’s a cat, so I don’t mind having a cat around the place either – except when it decides to attack the birds in the garden. Then there is a heated dispute.
Having said that, however I’m not so sure that I would like a cat like Oscar around. Certainly the people I was talking about yesterday in the post about Harry Meadows and the Home for the Elderly might get a little nervous!
You see, Oscar the cat seems to have an uncanny knack for predicting when nursing home patients are going to die, by curling up next to them during their final hours. His accuracy, observed in twenty-five cases, has led the staff at the Home to call family members once he has chosen someone. It usually means they have less than four hours to live.
“He doesn’t make too many mistakes. He seems to understand when patients are about to die,” said Dr. David Dosa a geriatrician and assistant professor of medicine at Brown University. “Many family members take some solace from it. They appreciate the companionship that the cat provides for their dying loved one,” said Dosa.
Oscar was adopted as a kitten and grew up in a third-floor dementia unit at the Steere House Nursing and Rehabilitation Center in Providence, Rhode Island. The facility treats people with Alzheimer’s, Parkinson’s disease and other illnesses.
After about six months, the staff noticed Oscar would make his own rounds, just like the doctors and nurses. He’d sniff and observe patients, then sit beside people who would wind up dying in a few hours.
Dosa said Oscar seems to take his work seriously and is generally aloof. “This is not a cat that’s friendly to people,” he said.
Oscar is better at predicting death than the people who work there, said Dr. Joan Teno of Brown University, who treats patients at the nursing home and is an expert on care for the terminally ill
She was convinced of Oscar’s talent when he made his 13th correct call. While observing one patient, Teno said she noticed the woman wasn’t eating, was breathing with difficulty and that her legs had a bluish tinge, signs that often mean death is near.
Oscar wouldn’t stay inside the room though, so Teno thought his streak was broken. Instead, it turned out the doctor’s prediction was roughly ten hours too early. Sure enough, during the patient’s final two hours, nurses told Teno that Oscar joined the woman at her bedside.
Doctors say most of the people who get a visit from the sweet-faced, gray-and-white cat are so ill they probably don’t know he’s there, so patients aren’t aware he’s a harbinger of death. Most families are grateful for the advanced warning, although one wanted Oscar out of the room while a family member died. When Oscar is put outside, he paces and meows his displeasure.
No one’s certain if Oscar’s behavior is scientifically significant or points to a cause. Teno wonders if the cat notices telltale scents or reads something into the behavior of the nurses who raised him.
So is Oscar really is a furry grim reaper? No one is saying for sure but he did recently received a wall plaque publicly commending his “compassionate hospice care.”
Oscar the Grim Reaper
