aFrankAngle’s A-to-Z Challenge On Fasab

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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My blog friend Frank over at A Frank Angle came up with the idea of doing a post based on an alphabetical listing of a selection of his previous posts. An interesting idea and a good way to introduce more recent readers to some of the things they might otherwise have missed.

Of course, Frank couldn’t leave it at that, so he threw out a challenge for others to try to do the same for their blogs. And guess who couldn’t resist the challenge!

So here you are, for new and long term readers of this blog, a alphabetical journey through some of the files of Fasab!

Enjoy.

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A is for….

Awkward Moments, (Part One, Part Two and Part Three), a short series of amusing anecdotes of times when things didn’t go quite right.

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B is for….

Banksters, one of my perpetual hate figures and the subject of numerous rants such as this one

Are The Banksters Guilty Of Treason Against The Nation?

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C is for….

Classifieds, a long running series of funny classified ads that turned out rather differently to the original intent, for example Part Three and Part Fourteen

And also for factoids about Chocolate and Coffee which people seemed to enjoy

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D is for….

Dogs. I make no secret of the fact that I am very fond of dogs, and German Shepherds in particular. You won’t get a better or more loyal companion and friend. I’ve done several doggie posts, this one has been the most popular,

Sometimes Dogs Know More Than We Give Them Credit For

And for Dear Abbey, no blog like this would be complete without a few letters from Joe Public seeking advice for some of their most disturbing problems.

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E is for….

Education, the lack of, as evidenced by these student exam answers, Part One and Part Two

And also for Emergency Room, some amusing anecdotes from the medical world.

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F is for….

Facebook, in particular the disastrous launch of the company on to the stock market which inspired the longest alliterated blog post title so far

Furious Flabbergasted Facebook Fools Face Frightening Falls From Fanciful Flagging Financial Flotation Farce

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G is for….

The Great Escape, a short story aout an intrepid group of construction workers held hostage by Saddam Hussein before the outbreak of the first war with Iraq

And also for a Glass Of Milk being raised in tribute to Samuel J Porcello, the man who made Oreos what they are today.

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H is for….

Has to be for The Late Great Mr Harry Meadows, an old fellow whose efforts to spice up life in an English nursing home didn’t quite work out as intended.

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I is for….

I Miss Him, and I Miss Him Two, a nostalgic look back at some of the wonderful statements of President George W Bush.

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J is for….

The Journey, an eight part story of an eventful and amusing journey from Dublin, Ireland to the Caribbean, by way of Miami, Florida. This was one of the first things I wrote for this blog and published before there was much viewing traffic

Dublin Airport,  -   Reconfigured And Stuck,  -   The Three Hour Stopover,  -   What Color Was It?   -  Just A Trip To The Mall,   –  Miami Twice, Lost In That Is,   –  Bags And Bags And Bags Of Bother,  and  Finally, I Made It!

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K is for….

Korea, my take on the current posturing and politics concerning North and South Korea,

Is Obama Making A Bad Korea Move?

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L is for….

A Long Love Affair, a short story about my own geeky love affair with computers during the past few decades.

And for Lost In The Fog, a short story about Tommy who managed to get completely lost in the field beside his house.

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M is for….

The MilPost Blog Award, another thing inspired by Frank who was the first blogger to receive this prestigious award only given to those few bloggers who have posted 1,000 times or more on their blog. If you know of anyone who is eligible to receive it please let me know.

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N is for….

Numbers, an on going series of factoids about numbers and their meanings and associations, that has surprised me in the numbers of people viewing them. So far the most popular number is Twenty-Three 23.

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O is for….

One Small Step For Man, a tribute on hearing of the death of Neil Armstrong the first man to set foot on the Moon. There are differing views on how Mr Gorsky fared, but I hope he did okay!

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P is for….

No, you’re all wrong. P is for my loving tribute to the wonderful invention knows as Peanut Butter.

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Q is for….

Quiz Show Answers, a very funny and long running series about the dumb answers given by contestants on various TV and radio quizzes over the years. Like this for example,

It’s Monday And That Means Some More Quiz Show Answers

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R is for….

Revenge Of The First Graders, part of a short series of guess the logo quizzes, apparently kids can recognize about 200 of these by the time they are ready for the first grade!

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S is for….

Stupidity, one of the foundation stones of this blog. No one is immune, especially not politicians and lawyers.

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T is for….

Tarzan and Travel Agents, both of whom made an appearance on the fasab blog.

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U is for….

US Politics And Foreign Policy For Dummies, sometimes it takes a kid to show us how absurd the world of adults really is!

And ‘U’ is for Up, as in People Hardly Ever Look Up, Sometimes They Should!

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V is for….

Versatile Blogger Award. Actually that should be ‘awards’ the first nomination from Alex way back when this blog was barely two months old, and subsequently from Sunny and Wendy. The Fasab blog has also been nominated for the Illuminating Blogger Award (Kenton), Sunshine Award (Wendy again) and the Kreative Blogger Award (Nabdip). My sincere thanks to everyone who though this blog worthy of nomination and I will get round to doing a proper awards page I promise.

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W is for….

Word Play. Yes, you were right, just in the wrong place. I like puns and they feature almost every week somewhere in my blog. So like them, or hate them, or like to hate them, or even hate to like them, you’re sure to find some here.

Why Are Puns So Popular?

Word Play, Bad Jokes, Whatever You Call Them They’re Still Pun To Me

It’s Thursday And That Means Another Excuse For A Few More Bad Jokes

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X is for….

X-rated, a steamy tension filled post about My Morning In Bed With Derek. Read it if you dare!

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Y is for….

Your Country Needs You, a story about a friend’s unusual introduction to the military world.

And You’re Too Stupid To Own A Computer, about pc owners and technical helplines!

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Z is for….

Zero, there are no ‘Z’ posts on this blog, unless the ones that put you to sleep reading them!

I suppose I could have used some of the quiz or puzzle posts, but that’s a bit of a cop out.

I hope this means that Fasab has yet to reach its zenith.

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So that’s it, the Fasab A – Z. Feel free to click any or all of the links that take your fancy, and, as always, enjoy!

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Frank has asked me to remind everyone that no nominations are required to take part in the A2Z challenge, so why not have a go. It’s a bit of work, but fun too, and it gives you the excuse to look over some of your old posts.
The details are on Frank’s blog. To go there, click here!

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Merry Christmas Everyone

No blog post today,

but I would like to take this opportunity

to wish everyone who visits the fasab blog

a very merry Christmas.

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Thank you for your support over the past ten months of blogging 

and especially to all those who follow and comment,

your contributions are very much appreciated. 

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click here

Introducing The Prestigious MIL-POST Blog Award

The MIL-POST Blog Award
for 1,000 posts on your blog

 

Today I want to do something a little different.

I would like to announce the creation of the prestigious MIL-POST Blog Award, for bloggers who have managed to keep their enthusiasm, inspiration and dedication going long enough to have posted 1,000 times on their blog.

The whole idea has been inspired by a casual comment on the blog of my friend Frank over at ‘afrankangle’ who today is celebrating his 1,000^th post. When you have read this why not visit Frank and join in the celebrations!

The more I thought about it the more I realized that this really is quite an achievement and a milestone that (a) most bloggers won’t reach, or (b) if and when they do reach it, it will have been the result of many months and perhaps years of blogging.

The BIG difference between this and other blogging awards is that you cannot be nominated for the MIL-POST Blog Award simply because someone else likes your blog and thinks it is worthy of some kind of accolade.

There are lots of other awards for that purpose, for example, the fasab blog has been nominated for the Versatile Blogger Award, the Sunshine Blogger Award, the Illuminating Blogger Award and the Kreative Blogger Award. There are many others.

But to be eligible for the MIL-POST Blog Award you must have posted 1,000 times (at least), simple as that.

So if you, or anyone you know, is eligible for the MIL-POST Blog Award please send them a link to this page or the MIL-POST Blog Award page where further details can be found.

And If you haven’t yet reached the 1,000 milestone yet, don’t worry, just keep on blogging and you’ll get there.

Go on,  you know you want one!

 

Friday’s Facebook Flop Status Quo? Down Down Deeper And Down

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Way back towards the end of May I wrote a post with a big ‘F’-ing title about the greed-inspired stupidity and madness that preceded the Facebook IPO. Remember, “Furious Flabbergasted Facebook Fools Face Frightening Falls From Fanciful Flagging Financial Flotation Farce”? 

Launched at the ridiculous price of $38 a share, or about 100 times the company’s earnings, the price momentarily made it to $45, but then quickly plummeted to $34. 

In my post in May I suggested that the shares were worth more like $18 a share rather than $38. As of yesterday (August 16th) the price had fallen below $20.

Facebook stock has crashed

I’m not saying this by way of blowing my trumpet, because I now think that my $18 peg may have been rather optimistic too. Investors have by and large turned against Facebook.

Apart from the odd blip, the stock has been on a downward trend pressured by disappointing earnings and by the fact that from today the so-called “lockups” that have prevented some early Facebook backers from unloading their stakes begin to expire. This simply means they will be able to sell shares into the market and with around two billion shares eligible for a sell off between now and May 2013, with a big one coming in November, the signs for a price recovery are ominous.

In fact further falls are more than likely.

Those who can are shorting the stock like crazy. (Shorting is where your broker borrows shares which you sell immediately in the hope that you can buy them back later at a lower price.)

The number of Facebook shares on loan to short sellers has risen from 63 million a month ago to more than 93 million.

So is it a good buy now at $18? I think not. Not for a while anyhow, until these locked shares find their way into the market and the price stabilizes and that will probably be well into 2013.

In the short term the status quo is probably down down deeper and down.

Forget Facebook and enjoy some music from the 70s instead.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IKe2OfXLxuc

 

The small print.

Fasab disclaimer: this blog post does not constitute professional advice as regards investments on the stock exchange, such advice would only be given and indicated thus if an outrageous fee were being charged and this blog is being given to you for free. Also any investor should always be aware that shares can fall as well as plummet and should act accordingly by not investing any money they can not afford to lose.

Three Interesting Letters Of Rejection

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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I wrote a post last week about now famous and successful authors who had been the victims of intellectually challenged publishers and who as a consequence had suffered the indignity of receiving letters and comments rejecting their work. (Possibly The Most Rejected Book Manuscript In The World)

Back on the theme of rejection letters I found a few other examples that I thought were interesting and, I hope, amusing. Here are three of the best.

Enjoy.

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The first was sent to an aspiring author of a novel. It was either a very bad manuscript or the publisher was having a particularly bad day.

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Dear Bad Writer,

Unfortunately it falls to me to inform you that Harlequin will not be publishing your novel, Kisses In January.

While it is customary to send out a form letter in cases of such rejection, your novel was so strikingly inept, I felt I had to say a few words.

One, you are not welcome to submit any future work to our offices.

Two, both myself and my assistant are considering legal action against you for wasting our valuable time with your relentless tripe.

Among the areas needing vast improvement: Description, character development, and dialogue. The less said about the love scenes the better.

Should this novel have been published, it would have likely resulted in the end of modern book sales.

Trying to Forget,

Judith P Esterman, Editor

Harlequin American Romance.

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The second is a curious letter of rejection. In fact you could say it is a rejecting rejection letter.

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Herbert A. Millington
Chair – Search Committee
412A Clarkson Hall, Whitson University
College Hill, MA 34109

Dear Professor Millington,

Thank you for your letter of March 16. After careful consideration, I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me an assistant professor position in your department.

This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually large number of rejection letters. With such a varied and promising field of candidates, it is impossible for me to accept all refusals.

Despite Whitson’s outstanding qualifications and previous experience in rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does not meet my needs at this time. Therefore, I will assume the position of assistant professor in your department this August. I look forward to seeing you then.

Best of luck in rejecting future applicants.

Sincerely,
Chris L. Jensen

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And the third is perhaps the letter we have all secretly wanted to write at some time in our lives. It is a farewell letter from someone who worked in the Dublin office of Ernst & Young. Now this is closure!

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My leaving letter: 

Dear Co-Workers,

As many of you probably know, tomorrow is my last day. But before I leave, I wanted to take this opportunity to let you know what a great and distinct pleasure it has been to type “Tomorrow is my last day.”

For nearly as long as I’ve worked here, I’ve hoped that I might one day leave this company. And now that this dream has become a reality, please know that I could not have reached this goal without your unending lack of support. Words cannot express my gratitude for the words of gratitude you did not express.

I would especially like to thank all of my managers: in an age where miscommunication is all too common, you consistently impressed and inspired me with the sheer magnitude of your misinformation. It takes a strong man to admit his mistake – it takes a stronger man to attribute his mistake to me.

Over the year and a half, you have taught me more than I could ever ask for and, in most cases, ever did ask for. I have been fortunate enough to work with some absolutely interchangeable supervisors on a wide variety of seemingly identical projects – an invaluable lesson in overcoming daily tedium in overcoming daily tedium in overcoming daily tedium.

Your demands were high and your patience short, but I take great solace knowing that my work was, as stated on my annual review, “mostly satisfactory.” That is the type of praise that sends a man home happy after even a ‘10 hour’ day, smiling his way through half a bottle of mostly satisfactory scotch.

And to most of my peers: even though we barely acknowledged each other within these office walls, I hope that in the future, should we pass on the street, you will regard me the same way as I regard you: sans eye contact.

But to those few souls with whom I’ve actually interacted, here are my personalized notes of farewell:

To Caulfield: I will always remember sharing lunch with you, despite having clearly labeled it with my name.

To Mairead: I will miss detecting your flatulence as much as you will clearly miss walking past my cubicle to deliver it.

To Linda: Best wishes on your ongoing campaign to popularize these “email forwards.” I sincerely hope you receive that weekend full of good luck, that hug from an old friend, and that baby for your dusty womb.

And finally, to Kat: you were right – I tested positive. We’ll talk later.

So, in parting, if I could pass on any word of advice to the individual who will soon be filling my position, it would be to cherish this experience like a sponge and soak it up like a good woman, because a job opportunity like this comes along only once in a lifetime.

Meaning: if I had to work here again in this lifetime, I would sooner kill myself.

Very truly yours,

Cian Kelliher

 

PS: I will be throwing myself a happy hour farewell party at the Oden 5.30 tomorrow evening if anybody is interested in drinks!

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Courting Disasters

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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No, not the romantic kind of courting disasters, not this time anyhow. Today it’s another selection from the courts.

You may forgive the witness and jury member responses (although some of them are really dumb), but it is hard to believe when you read some of this that these lawyers have had the benefit of an expensive education.

Money and time wasted?

Judge for yourselves.

Enjoy.

 

 

But first a joke….

 

A witness to an automobile accident was testifying in court.

The following exchange took place between the lawyer and the witness:

The lawyer: “Did you actually see the accident?”

The witness: “Yes, sir.”

The lawyer: “How far away were you when the accident happened?”

The witness: “Thirty-one feet, six and one quarter inches.”

The lawyer (thinking he’d trap the witness): “Well, sir, will you tell the jury how you knew it was
exactly that distance?”

The witness: “Because when the accident happened I took out a tape and measured it. I knew some stupid lawyer would ask me that question.”

 

 

 

Defendant: I remember when I was in your courtroom in 1956 when you was a municipal judge

Counsel: I don’t think we should go into that

Defendant: Not guilty, too

Counsel: Well, we all make mistakes, sir, but you didn’t make one

Defendant: Well you made one, I was guilty

 

  

District Attorney: Okay. How much earlier had you used cocaine?

Defendant: I was getting high all that day

District Attorney: All right. So you were using cocaine. Were you free-basing cocaine?

Defendant: No I bought it.

 

 

Counsel: Okay. Now let me ask you again, had you been drinking that day? Alcohol, I mean?

Defendant: Uh-huh

Counsel: Had you?

Defendant’s Counsel  Answer it audibly

Counsel: Had you been drinking alcohol that day?

Defendant: Audibly

Counsel: What were you drinking, beer or what?

Defendant: Uh-huh

Counsel: Beer?

Defendant: Audibly

 

 

District Attorney: Judge, I would object to Counsel’s characterization of this disagreement. He is giving a one-sided view.

Judge:  Of course he is. That is what you expect of a trial attorney

 

 

Judge:  Please begin

Counsel: Thank you

Q. (to witness) Miss, while you have, if you do have – you still- oh, you don’t.

Judge: That was a great start, counsel

 

 

Judge:  Are all of the defendants black?

Counsel #1:  My client is white

Counsel #2:  My client is described in the police report as mulatto

Judge: How do you describe her?

Counsel #2:  Pregnant

 

 

Counsel:  Your Honor, the defense would argue the People haven’t proved the prior conviction.

District Attorney: Oh shit!

Counsel:  That’s a legal term?

Judge:  One used quite often in law school

 

 

District Attorney: Did the defendant make any other statements to you at that time?

Witness: He told me he had the best lawyer in Los Angeles and that I didn’t have a case

Counsel: I’ll stipulate to that, Your Honor

 

 

Q: What about the research?

A:  I don’t think there is any research on that. There’s a logical hunch that may be true, but I know of no research study that would support that at this point in time.

Q: What about just common sense?

A: Well I am not here using common sense. I am here as an expert.

 

 

Q: How long would it take for a sphincter spasm to heal, Doctor?

A: Sphincter spasm is not a disease process. I mean, as you stand there, you can have a sphincter spasm if you wanted to.

Q: I could have a sphincter spasm right now if I wanted to?

A: Just tighten your sphincter and that is your sphincter spasm. Try it.

Q: Can you have one right now, Doctor?

A: Yeah, I think we all can

 

 

Q: Deputy, showing your photographs numbers 3 and 4, can you identify those?

A: Those were photographs taken at our sheriff’s headquarters.

Q: Do you recognize the individuals in the photographs?

A: Yes, sir

Q: And, in Exhibit No. 3, do you recognize that subject?

A: Yes sir

Q: How do you recognize him?

A: There’s a name card in front of him.

Court breaks into laughter

Judge: Oh, I love that. We don’t get paid much, but we do have a good time.

 

 

Q: Officer have you ever cut yourself?

A: Yes sir

Q: When you cut yourself did anything come out?

A: Yes sir

Q: What color was that?

Counsel:  I objet Your Honor as irrelevant

Judge: Overruled

A: It was red

Q: Did that red substance that came out appear to be similar to the red substance you saw at the scene?

A: Yes sir

Q: Does that red substance have a name?

A: Yes Sir, it does

Q: What is it called?

A: Blood

 

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Possibly The Most Rejected Book Manuscript In The World

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Gilbert Young was as aspiring writer, something that will find sympathy with many bloggers and blog readers I’m sure.

But Mr Young has not been the most successful of authors. In the 1970s he wrote a book, World Government Crusade, and last reports indicate that it was rejected by more publishers that any other manuscript. He even wrote to the Soviet Ambassador to see if Russian publishers might be interested. They were not.

He amassed a collection of 205 rejection slips.

It’s all hardly surprising since the subject matter of his book outlined the policies of the ‘World Government and Old Age Pensioners’ Party’ that he had founded in 1958.

But whilst Mr Young’s manuscript may well have been worthy of rejection, sometimes publishers have made serious errors when assessing work submitted to them by aspiring authors. Stupidity is indeed everywhere!

Take a look at these famous examples and the publisher’s comments. It’s a fairly long list, but interesting to see the variety of great writers who started off their careers being rejected. At least some of them will surprise you!

Thank goodness they were persistent enough to carry on. Another good lesson there for aspiring writers today.

Perhaps rather fittingly, whilst the authors and books they criticized have gone on to become household names, the publishers doing the rejecting have long been forgotten.

Enjoy.

 

 

“Lady Chatterley’s Lover” by D H Lawrence

‘for your own sake do not publish this book.’

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“The Wind in the Willows” by Kenneth Grahame

‘an irresponsible holiday story’

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“Lord of the Flies” by William Golding

‘an absurd and uninteresting fantasy which was rubbish and dull.’

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“Watership Down” by Richard Adams

‘older children wouldn’t like it because its language was too difficult.’

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“Valley of the Dolls” by Jacqueline Susann 

Susann’s “Valley Of The Dolls” received this response, “…she is a painfully dull, inept, clumsy, undisciplined, rambling and thoroughly amateurish writer whose every sentence, paragraph and scene cries for the hand of a pro. She wastes endless pages on utter trivia, writes wide-eyed romantic scenes …hauls out every terrible show biz cliché in all the books, lets every good scene fall apart in endless talk and allows her book to ramble aimlessly …”

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“Crash” by J  G Ballard

‘The author of this book is beyond psychiatric help.’

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“The Torrents of Spring” by Ernest Hemingway

Regarding his novel, “The Torrents of Spring”, Ernest Hemingway was rejected with, “It would be extremely rotten taste, to say nothing of being horribly cruel, should we want to publish it.”

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“Moby Dick” by Herman Melville

Melville was told, “We regret to say that our united opinion is entirely against the book as we do not think it would be at all suitable for the Juvenile Market in (England). It is very long, rather old-fashioned…”

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William Faulkner

Faulkner may be a classic writer to this, as well as prior, generation, but back when he was trying to crack the publishing market, he had to read letters like this one, “If the book had a plot and structure, we might suggest shortening and revisions, but it is so diffuse that I don’t think this would be of any use. My chief objection is that you don’t have any story to tell.” This was kinder than the rejection he would receive just two years later, “Good God, I can’t publish this!”

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“The Deer Park” by Norman Mailer

‘This will set publishing back 25 years.’

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“Gentlemen Prefer Blondes” by Anita Loos

‘Do you realize, young woman, that you’re the first American writer ever to poke fun at sex.’

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“The Diary of Anne Frank”

‘The girl doesn’t, it seems to me, have a special perception or feeling which would lift that book above the “curiosity” level.’ 

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“Lust for Life” by Irving Stone

Stone’s manuscript “Lust For Life” was rejected 16 times, with letters like this, “A long, dull novel about an artist.” Eventually he found a publisher and went on to sell about 25 million copies.

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“Barchester Towers” by Anthony Trollope

‘The grand defect of the work, I think, as a work of art is the low-mindedness and vulgarity of the chief actors.  There is hardly a lady” or “gentleman” amongst them.’

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“Carrie” by Stephen King

‘We are not interested in science fiction which deals with negative utopias.  They do not sell.’

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“Catch – 22” by Joseph Heller

‘I haven’t really the foggiest idea about what the man is trying to say… Apparently the author intends it to be funny – possibly even satire – but it is really not funny on any intellectual level … From your long publishing experience you will know that it is less disastrous to turn down a work of genius than to turn down talented mediocrities.’

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“The Spy who Came in from the Cold” by John le Carré

‘You’re welcome to le Carré – he hasn’t got any future.’

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“The War Of The Worlds”  &  “The Time Machine” by H.G. Wells

Wells had to endure the indignity of a rejection when he submitted his manuscript, “The War of the Worlds” that said, “An endless nightmare. I do not believe it would “take”…I think the verdict would be ‘Oh don’t read that horrid book’.”

And when he tried to market “The Time Machine,” it was said, “It is not interesting enough for the general reader and not thorough enough for the scientific reader.”

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“Animal Farm” by George Orwell

‘It is impossible to sell animal stories in the USA’

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Edgar Allen Poe

Poe was told, “Readers in this country have a decided and strong preference for works in which a single and connected story occupies the entire volume.”

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 “A Wrinkle In Time” by Madeleine L’Engle

L’Engle’s “A Wrinkle In Time” was turned down 29 times.

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“Bridge Over River Kwai” by Pierre Boulle 

A rejection letter said, “A very bad book.”

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“The Clan of Cave Bear” by Jean Auel

Auel was told, “We are very impressed with the depth and scope of your research and the quality of your prose. Nevertheless … we don’t think we could distribute enough copies to satisfy you or ourselves.”

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“Jonathan Livingston Seagull” by Richard Bach

The publisher of a magazine refusing an offer to bid on the paperback rights to Bach’s best selling novel said, “Jonathan Livingston Seagull will never make it as a paperback.” Avon Books eventually bought those rights and sales totaled more than 7.25 million copies.

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“The Fountainhead” & “Atlas Shrugged” by Ayn Rand

Before Ayn Rand became known as an intellectual and her books as classics, she too received rejections. Of “The Fountin Head” they said, “It is badly written and the hero is unsympathetic,” and, “I wish there were an audience for a book of this kind. But there isn’t. It won’t sell.”

Of “Atlas Shrugged” doing the rounds some fourteen years later, “… the book is much too long. There are too many long speeches… I regret to say that the book is unsaleable and unpublishable.”

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“Lady Windermere’s Fan” by Oscar Wilde

‘My dear sir, I have read your manuscript.  Oh, my dear sir.’

—————————–

Jorge Luis Borges

‘utterly untranslatable’

——————————-

Isaac Bashevis Singer

‘It’s Poland and the rich Jews again.’

——————————-

Anais Nin

‘There is no commercial advantage in acquiring her, and, in my opinion, no artistic.’

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Dr Seuss

“too different from other juveniles on the market to warrant its selling.”

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Beatrix Potter

“The Tale Of Peter Rabbit” was turned down so many times, Potter initially self-published it.

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Rudyard Kipling

Kipling received this from the editor of the San Francisco Examiner, “I’m sorry, Mr. Kipling, but you just don’t know how to use the English language.”

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“Journey Back to Love” by Mary Higgins Clark

Although mystery writer Mary Higgins Clark more recently has received a $60 plus million dollar advance on her next five books, in the early 1960s when she was sending out her manuscript of “Journey Back to Love” the publishers were not so generous, saying things like, “We found the heroine as boring as her husband did.”

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Colette

Classic writer Colette was told in a letter of rejection, “I wouldn’t be able to sell 10 copies.”

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Emily Dickinson

Only seven of Emily Dickinson’s poems were ever published during her lifetime. A rejection early in her career said, “(Your poems) are quite as remarkable for defects as for beauties and are generally devoid of true poetical qualities.”

—————————-

Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov

‘… overwhelmingly nauseating, even to an enlightened Freudian … the whole thing is an unsure cross between hideous reality and improbable fantasy.  It often becomes a wild neurotic daydream … I recommend that it be buried under a stone for a thousand years. 

 

 

Today Is Friday The Thirteenth, Unlucky For Some – Here’s Another Test

 

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Personally I think its bad luck to be superstitious. Nevertheless a lot of people think that a Friday which falls on the 13^th of the month is a day where ‘luck’ tends to be bad rather than good. Today they might have something – here’s another test (

As usual some are difficult, some are easy and some are just tricky, but you can fine the answers way down below 

 

1.  July and August are two consecutive months with 31 days each. What other two consecutive months have 31 days each?

 

 

2.  What is the opposite of not good?

 

 

3.  Two girls played four games of checkers. Each girl won 3 games. How can this be?

 

 

4.  Two mothers and two daughters went to lunch. The meal for each came to $1.10. The total bill for all the meals came to $3.30. How did this happen?

 

 

5.  Which of the following sentences is correct?

Nine and five are thirteen.
or
Nine and five is thirteen.

 

 

6.  What states contain just four letters, three of which are vowels?

 

 

7.  “How much will 1 cost?” “20 cents,” says the clerk in the hardware store. 
“And how much will twelve cost?”

“40 cents.”
“Okay, I’ll take nine hundred twelve.”

“That will be 60 cents.”
What was the customer buying?

 

 

8.  What types of animals can jump higher than a house?

 

 

9.  Rearrange the letters of NEW DOOR to make one word.

 

 

10. What familiar continuum is expressed by the following words:

flushed, New Jersey town, cowardly, naive, depressed, dye-stuff, flower.

 

 

11. In the following line of letters, cross out six letters so that the remaining letters, without altering their sequence, will spell a familiar English word. 

B S A I N X L E A T N T E A R S

 

 

12. Give the first names of the following people:
Dante, Rembrandt, Michelangelo

 

 

13. An eskimo, even if he and his family are on the verge of starvation, will not attempt to eat a Penguin’s egg. Why?

 

 

14. What is the main characteristic of an Hawaiian snake?

 

 

15. Supply the missing number: 77, 49, 36, 18, ____ .

 

 

16. Spell JOKE.
      Spell FOLK.
      Spell POKE. 
      Spell the word which means the white of an egg.

 

 

17. Kansas City and St. Louis are 240 miles apart. A train leaves Kansas City travelling towards St. Louis at 60 mph; another leaves St. Louis at the same time, travelling towards Kansas City at 40 mph. Which train will be farther from St. Louis when they meet?

 

 

18. If a man is 6 feet tall and weighs 300 pounds, how many hard boiled eggs can he eat on an empty stomach?

 

 

19. A child is born in Boston, Mass., to parents who were both born in Boston, Mass. The child is not a U.S. citizen. How is this possible?

 

 

20. Carrie Cotter was born on December 27, yet her birthday is always in the summer. How is this possible?

 

 

21. What 8 letter word has 7 consonants and 1 vowel?

 

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ANSWERS

 

1.  December and January.

 

2.  good.

 

3.  They did not play each other.

 

4.  There were just three women — grandmother, mother, daughter.

 

5.  Neither is correct — 9 + 5 = 14.

 

6.  Ohio, Iowa.

 

7.  House Numbers.

 

8.  All animals — houses can’t jump.

 

9.  ONE WORD.

 

10. Colors of the Rainbow.

Red, Orange, Yellow, Green, Blue, Indigo, Violet.

 

11. B A N A N A (Cross out the letters: S I X L E T T E R S)

 

12. They are the first names.

 

13. Eskimo is at the North Pole; Penquins are at the South Pole.

 

14. They don’t exist.

 

15.  8.

 

16. A L B U M E N (NOT yolk! — that’s the yellow part!)

 

17. When they meet, they are the same distance from St. Louis.

 

18. Just one. After that, his stomach isn’t empty.

 

19. The child was born before 1776.

 

20. Carrie lives in the Southern Hemisphere.

 

21. STRENGTH. There may be others…

 

 

 

 

 

Mandatory Private Health Insurance – Whatever Next?

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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I wrote a post on my blog a while ago called “It Always Surprises Me How One Thing Leads To Another!” and so it has again. I was intending another subject for today’s post but a recent comment got me thinking about Obamacare and the recent SCOTUS ruling.

Don’t worry, I’m not going to go into an analyses of that just now apart from making this small point. When Obamacare (some people call it The Patient Protection and Affordable Healthcare Act), became law on March 23, 2010, it contained a provision that requires all Americans to have private health insurance coverage starting in 2014.

Further than that, any American who does not, will have to pay a penalty, up to 2.5% of his/her income, to the IRS.

Now I know that, if you can afford it, having an adequate health plan is a sensible thing. But legislating to make it compulsory, well, that’s a different thing entirely.

I am astounded that more people haven’t been kicking up their heels and screaming about this, which is in effect a tax or fine for something you didn’t do, rather than something you did. But they haven’t. Maybe it is because 2014 is way in the future, like just a few months away, (duhh) and therefore nothing needs to be done.

So, I’m thinking if they get away with this, whatever is next. And then it hit me, so to speak.

Sex.

Some moron either in the Oval office or in a square office in the Senate or Congress will come up with the idea of legislating sex. I don’t mean they’re going to make it compulsory or otherwise, just that we’ll all need to take out relevant insurance to cover it, so to speak.

Although it is not always immediately apparent, fasab is a helpful blog. Always going the extra mile to assist people where possible, either by highlighting the bureaucratic bunglers in our midst, or trying to amuse, or being informative.

Today it’s the latter (it isn’t really, it’s the middle one), because I have come across a list of the correct insurance companies for sex. The list can be found below.

Enjoy!

 

THE correct Insurance Companies for sex, depending on your tastes) are:

 

SEX with your wife – Legal & General

 

SEX with your future wife- Mutual Trust

 

SEX with your secretary – Employers Liability

 

SEX with a prostitute – Commercial Union

 

SEX on the telephone- Direct line

 

SEX with your biographer – Quote me Happy

 

SEX in a hurry- Insure & Go

 

SEX with your boyfriend – Standard Life

 

SEX with a transvestite – Confused . com

 

SEX with some one different – Go compare . com

 

SEX with a wild animal – Compare the meerkat . com

 

SEX with a fat bird – More Than

 

SEX on the back seat – Sheila’s Wheels

 

SEX with an o.a.p – Saga

 

SEX with a posh bird – Privilege .com

 

SEX with yourself – John Hancock Insurance

 

SEX with safety in mind – Protective Life

 

and finally,

 

SEX with a sheep – Farmers Union

 

 

Time For Another Test – Whaddya Mean #>@!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Sunday is usually a bit of a lazy day for most of us. So how about using the time to limber up those old brain cells. Here are 21 questions, some easy, some tricky, some silly, and some difficult. Give them a try and see how you get on.

The answers are at the bottom if you scroll down a bit, but no cheating!!!

 

QUESTIONS

 

1.  Why can’t a man living in Winchester be buried in Frederick County?

 

2.  How near is the U.S. to Russia? (3000, 1000, 500, or 50 miles)?

 

3.  A woman gives a beggar 50 cents. The woman is the beggar’s sister but the beggar is not the woman’s brother. How come?

 

4.  What four words appear on every U.S. coin besides “In God We Trust?”

 

5.  You are blindfolded. Placed in front of you is a box of stockings, all the same size. Twenty-five of the stockings are red and twenty-five are white. What is the minimum number of stockings that you can remove and be absolutely sure of a matching pair?

 

6.  If you flew due south from Atlanta, Georgia, which South American country would you pass over first?

 

7.  How many outs are there in an inning of a baseball game?

 

8.  How many birthdays does the average person have?

 

9.  If 2 miles of fence enclose a square plot of 160 acres, how large a square will 4 miles of fence enclose?

 

10. Why can’t a man’s hand be 12 inches long?

 

11. How many cubic feet of dirt are in a hole one foot deep, three feet long, and two feet wide?

 

12. A woman fenced in a square plot of land. When she had finished, there were ten fence posts on each side. How many posts did she use altogether?

 

13. How far is a furlong?

 

14. How many 1/8-inch squares will it take to make a square inch?

 

15. A woman travels 1 mile south, then one mile west, and then mile north, and arrives at her starting point. Where is she?

 

16. If it takes 3 men 3 days to dig 3 holes, how long would it take 1 man to dig 1/2 a hole?

 

17. A rooster is on a barnyard roof. If it lays an egg, which way will it roll?

 

18. How many one-inch cubes will it take to make a cubic foot?

 

19. If it’s zero degrees Celcius outside today and it’s supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be tomorrow?

 

20. The maker doesn’t want it; the buyer doesn’t use it; and the user doesn’t see it. What is is?

 

21. When is it legal in Virginia for a man to marry his own daughter?

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ANSWERS

 

1.  Because he is still alive.

 

2.  50 miles

 

3.  The beggar is a woman, so she is the woman’s sister.

 

4.  United States of America.

 

5.  Three.

 

6.  One!

 

7.  Six.

 

8.  One, all the others are anniversaries of your birthday.

 

9.  640 acres or 1 square mile.

 

10. Because it would be a foot.

 

11. None (there is no dirt in a hole).

 

12. Thirty-six.

 

13. One-eighth of a mile.

 

14. Sixty-four.

 

15. North Pole.

 

16. You can’t have 1/2 a hole.

 

17. A rooster doesn’t lay eggs.

 

18. 1,728.

 

19. Still 0 degrees, only this time in Fahrenheit

 

20. A coffin

 

21. When he is a clergyman performing his daughter’s wedding.