Archive for the ‘tv’ Category

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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I remember on this day last year starting out with great intentions of doing a Star Wars based post in tribute the day that has become known to many as ‘Star Wars Day’ because of the pun on the memorable phrase coined in the movie series “May the force be with you”.

Unfortunately I failed miserably last year because the post ended up as one about a guy who had built himself a really cool looking laser gun based on the phasers from Star Trek, not Star Wars. (Here’s the link if you missed it –  click here)

So time to make amends.

may the 4th be with you

Taken together the Star Wars series of movies has to be one of the most watched and highest grossing ever in the history of the cinema, if not THE greatest. The original 1977 movie itself has been estimated to have taken $2,710,800,000 in today’s inflation adjusted terms.

On top of that it has spawned a plethora of merchandising material from t-shirts to robots to gadgets to almost everything that could be seen in the movies themselves, and then some!

Top of everyone’s list has to be a lightsabre – I have never met anyone who has seen Star Wars who didn’t want to be the proud owner of a light sabre, including me.

From the first time you saw the flash of light and heard that ‘hummm’, way back in 1977, in Obi-Wan Kenobi’s bungalow, even though you didn’t really know what it was, you still knew you wanted one – needed one!

Well for a bit north of $100 now you can own one, the Star Wars Force FX Lightsaber! It has the light, it has the sound, and it looks the part – well almost.

lightsaber_extended

From the sublime, however, we also have the ridiculous.

Somewhere out there is that great Universe you just know that at least one moron has subjected their poor dog to the indignity of a Star Wars suit. Poor mutt, even the look on its face says it all.

star-wars-at-at-dog-costume

And there are lots of other stuff in between, including these

145560_f520

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  star-wars-chopsticks

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 Star-Wars-themed-Evian-bottles

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star-wars-watch_12

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star-wars-gadgets-mods-darth-vader-clock-2

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r2-code

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sony_dev-5k

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lego-stars-wars-table-soccer

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lego-star-wars-chess-set

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han-solo-desk-2

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Finally, an interesting little piece of trivia that would just as easily have taken its place in one of my ‘Did you know factoids’. 

Star Wars fans were not the first to introduce the line “May the fourth be with you”. When the recently deceased Margaret Thatcher was elected Britain’s first female Prime Minister on May 4, 1979, her party placed an advertisement in The London Evening News that said “May the Fourth Be with You, Maggie. Congratulations.” This reading of the line has also been recorded in the UK Parliament’s Hansard.

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“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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I thought we were coming to an end of these, but it seems there are still a few more intellectual gems to be discovered.

Have a look at this latest selection from the quiz show contestants who should have stayed at home.

Enjoy.

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Q:  In botany, what is the scientific term for a plant that lives for more than two years?

A:  A tree

Yosemite NP - Giant Sequoia - California Tree

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Q:  What “E” is the world’s highest mountain?

A:  Everglades

everglades-np

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Q:  George Bernard Shaw called this condition “the greatest of evils and the worst of crimes.”

A:  What is marriage?

marriage-cartoon

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Q:  Name a country in South America

A:  Africa

A:  Rio De Janeiro

A:  Spain

A:  Fiji

A:  Armenia

A:  Saudi Arabia

south-america

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Q:  Name something you squeeze

A:  Peanut butter

peanut-butter

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Q:  Name a planet you recognize just by looking at a picture of it

A:  The Moon

moon

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Q:  Name something you often misplace in your car

A:  Steering wheel

steering wheel

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Q:  Besides an airplane, name something man-made that flies

A:  A jet

cartoon jet

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Q:  Name something that doesn’t work without water

A:  Ice cream cone

icecream_cone.

 

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Q:  Name a noisy bird

A:  Chipmunk

chipmunk

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Q:  Name something a duck and a chicken have in common

A:  They quack

quack s doodle doo

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Q:  Name a happy occasion where you feel a little let down when it’s over

A:  Funeral

Cartoon funeral

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Q:  Name a male dancer

A:  Betty Grable

betty-grable-jukebox-75

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Q:  The birthday that men dread the most

A:  Their wife’s

wife's birthday

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Q:  Name a children’s story about an animal

A:  David and Goliath

David Goliath cartoon

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Q:  Something that’s murder to clean up when you spill it           

A:  Blood

blood_spill1

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Q:  Name a measurement of time

A:  Watch

hourglass

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Q:  Something associated with Cuba

A:  It’s in South America

cuban-cigar

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Q:  Name a movie with the word “King” in it

A:  King Dracula

dracula

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“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Regrettably I think we are coming close to end of my supply of stupid quiz show answers. It has been a good series and actually lasted a lot longer than I first thought. And some of them have been very amusing as well. All in all it has been well received.

I’ll call this the penultimate selection. It may contain some repeats, but they made me laugh when I read them again and if they do that then I hope they may do the same for you too.

Enjoy.

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Q. What “U” are the Eastern Europeans who originated the tradition of painting Easter eggs?

A.  Yugoslavians

set-of-painted-easter-eggs

Q.  What “S” is the nearest star to the earth?      

A.  Saturn

Q.  Name a drink you recognize by its smell      

A.  Potatoes

potato-pete

Q.  Something a husband and wife should have separate of       

A.  Parents

Q.  Name a hobby people take up for the thrills involved

A.  Stamp collecting

stamp collector dilemma

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Q.  Name a word that starts with the letter Q      

A.  Cute

Q.  Name a signer of the Declaration of Independence   

A.  Thomas Edison

Edison

Q.  Something that lets a burglar know that a house is unoccupied         

A.  No people in the house

Q.  Like “sugar bowl”, a bowl that’s named for the substance it contains

A.  Toilet bowl

toilet bowl

Q.  Name a fictional island        

A.  Rhode Island

Q. Name one of Santa’s reindeer

A.  Nixon

cool-cartoon-santa-and-reindeer

Q.  Name a beverage you stir before drinking    

A.  Water

Q.  Name the heaviest item in your house

A.  600 pounds

woman-on-scale

Q.  Something starting with “egg”          

A.  Excellent

A.  Eggland

Q.  Name an actor who played a gangster

A.  Al Capone

al copone

Q.  Name a character from the movie Aladdin    

A.  Jihad

Q.  Name something with claws 

A.  Christmas

claws

Q.  A man’s name that starts with the letter “P”   

A.  Porcupine

Q.  Name a pie that does not contain fruit

A.  Lemon Meringue

lemon-meringue-pie

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Q.  Name a room in the house where the family gathers  

A.  Bathroom

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“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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A few people have asked me if the quiz show answers that I use on the fasab blog are all genuine or did I make some of them up for comic effect.

It’s not that I would be beyond doing things to get a laugh sometimes, but to answer the question for everyone who considered it:

Yes they are all genuine answers.

Yes, people are genuinely that stupid.

Yes, it’s hard to believe but it’s true.

Still not convinced?

Need evidence direct from the horses’ mouths?

Grab yourself a nice cup of coffee and take 15 minutes or so to watch the video.

Enjoy (and never doubt fasab again…… well not all the time.)

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“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

Yes, I really don’t know how they do it, but every week they do seem to get worse. Where these answers come from or why shall always be a mystery, but they are fun and that’s what we like here, especially on a Monday!

You gotta start the week with a smile :)

Enjoy.

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Q: The perfect temperature for an autumn day   

A: 87   

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Q: An important city during colonial times          

A: Virginia

A: New England

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Q: Name something parents yell at their kids to finish    

A: “Get off that computer”

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Q: Name a movie people love to watch at Christmas      

A: Snow White 

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Q: Name a type of fruit found in tarts    

A: Sweet tarts

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Q: Name something you buy by the set 

A: Paper

Q: Name something you buy in a larger size if you have a large family    

A: Jeans

Q: Name something a woman sees that would make her tell her husband to stop the car 

A: A bicycle

Q: The most you could afford to pay for a gallon of gas

A: $20

Q: Name a way you would treat a pet like a human         

A: Take it to the vet

Q: Name something London is famous for        

A: Pasta

Q: Name a famous Australian    

A: Peter Pan    

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Q: The name of a famous sex symbol   

A: Wilma

Q: An invention that has replaced stairs 

A: Wheel

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Q: Name something associated with the show “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire”

A: Bob Barker

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“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Another foray into the hidden shallows of the human mind as shown by the answers some hapless contestants have given on television and radio quiz shows.

Marvel at the stupidity.

And enjoy!

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Q: Name something you might buy that could turn out to be phony        

A: A Horse

panto horse

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Q: Name something that dries up as it gets old  

A: Water

dry water.

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Q: The one thing that the people living near you have that you want        

A: A beautiful wife

neighborhood watch.

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Q: Name something most women wouldn’t be caught leaving the house without  

A: A Tampon

tampons-cartoon.

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Q: Name a body part that gets bigger as people get older         

A: Penis

BeavisButtheadWashington.

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Q: Name a foreign country people vacation in where it would be easy to pack on 10 pounds.      

A: Paris

french fries.

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Q: Which one of the seven dwarfs you most often feel like        

A: Weepy

A: Drowsy

A: Grouchy

The Seven Dwarfs.

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Q: Name a question you hate when people ask it to you 

A: “Are those real?”

Are Those Real?.

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Q: The hardest position to play on a baseball team        

A: Quarterback

baseball-face-cartoon-ball.

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Q: Name a city in the state of Georgia   

A: Alabama

georgia_alabama.

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Q: An excuse you use when stopped for speeding        

A: “I was drinking”

speeding.

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Q: Name something newlyweds share    

A: Underwear    

his n hers underwear.

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Q: Name something you would buy in a stationery store 

A: Water

stationery store1111

Q: Name a question that a gentleman would never ask a lady on a first date       

A: “What color underwear do you wear?”

first date.

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Q: Name a fruit beginning with the letter A         

A: Orange

cartoon-orange.

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“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Monday again and that means another selection of the answers given by those members of the public who imagine themselves good enough to win prizes on television and radio quiz shows.

Howard?  Oh boy!

Enjoy.

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Q: In the traditional version of The Lord’s Prayer, what “H,” meaning sanctified, goes before “thy name”

A: Howard        

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Q: What island nation was the book Hiroshima written about?     

A: Iwo Jima

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Q: What October holiday celebrates the discovery of America?  

A: Thanksgiving

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Q: Who played Austin Powers in Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me?     

A: Austin Powers

Q: On TV’s “The Simpsons”, Homer’s neighbor, Ned, had what last name?          

A: Barfbag

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Q: According to legend, who rode naked through the streets of Coventry to protest high taxes?  

A: Benjamin Franklin

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Q: The Sea-Tac airport in Washington is named after the city of Seattle and what other city?        

A: Washington

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Q: What “F” are ice crystals formed by condensation on surfaces below freezing?          

A: Icicles         

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Q: The Nuremberg war crime trials were held in what country?     

A: Warsaw

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Q: What surname was shared by a historical outlaw named “Butch” and a fictional cowboy named “Hopalong?”    

A: Lesbian        

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Q: In science, which William discovered that blood circulates around the body?  

A: Shatner

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Q: What “T” are people who live in a house paying rent to a landlord?     

A: Terrorists

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Q: What was the last state to join the USA?       

A: Canada

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Q: What insect is normally found hovering above lakes?

A: Crocodiles    

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Q: In his 1961 number one UK single “Wooden Heart,” Elvis sings in English and which other European language?           

A: English

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Q: Which letter of the alphabet sounds exactly the same as the term for a female sheep?

A: Baa 

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Q: In human development, what “B” is the usual 4-letter word for a newborn infant?         

A: Wasp

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Q: In superstition, people salute which black and white bird when it is seen alone?          

A: Penguin

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Q: In human anatomy, the umbilicus is a scar in the center of the abdomen that is more commonly known by what five-letter name? 

A: Button

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Q: The term ‘Rubenesque’ derives from which 17th Century artist?           

A: Aretha Franklin

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“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

Yesterday you were in the hot seat trying to answer some questions. But I’m sure you did better than this lot and your questions were much trickier than these.

Feel superior and enjoy the brain-to-mouth-bypass mishaps of Joe Public and friends.

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Q: In literature, Arthur C. Clarke’s “2010: Odyssey Two” was primarily set in what century?

A: Third

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Q: What is 2 times 5?   

A: 7     

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Q: What name is given to the field of medicine that concerns the health of women?        

A: Womenology

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Q: The law of what organization states that its members are “brave, clean and reverent”

A: Alcoholics Anonymous   (Answer: Boy Scouts)          

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Q: The name of which Caribbean island literally means “rich port” in Spanish?      

A: Port Richmond

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Q: What is half of 1,000

A: 100  

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Q: According to Hallmark, what type of gift should be given on the 50th wedding anniversary?    

A: Greeting card

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Q: What animal builds dams and lodges?          

A: Sheep

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Q: Who is the only Marx brother that remained silent throughout all their films?    

A: Karl 

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Q: What Tennessee congressman fought at the Battle of the Alamo?      

A: Al Gore

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Q: What ‘S’ is one of the seven deadly sins in Christianity?        

A: Science

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Q: What part of the human body is closest to the floor when we are walking?      

A: Head           

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Q: What 20 year old Russian tennis star released a fitness video called “Basic Elements?”          

A: Arnold Schwarzenegger

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Q: In 1973, President Nixon issued a statement saying “I am not a…” what?        

A: Canadian

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Q: What is the largest planet visible from Earth?

A: The moon    

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Q: On TV’s “Cheers,” which actress played bar manager Rebecca Howe?

A: Ted Dansen 

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Q: The Governor’s mansion in the state of Georgia is located in which city?        

A: Alabama

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Q: What does the “U” stand for in the name of the dissolved country U.S.S.R.?  

A: Russia

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Q: What is the capital of New Jersey?   

A: Delaware

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Q: What computer company’s name is abbreviated IBM?

A: Apple

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“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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So how many idiots got elected last week? Not all of them I hope, but I bet there are at least a few intellectually challenged newbees in the corridors of power in Washington. 

On the lighter side, some of those who didn’t make it in politics made it on to television and appeared in quiz shows.

The results are not that much different to some of the dumb things said in Congress (oh, oh, I feel another post forming in my head) so here is a selection to get the week started with a smile.

Enjoy!  

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Q: In craps, what are the numbers you will need to roll an ‘Easy 10′?        

A: What are 9 and 1?    

craps dice

. 111111

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Q: Paul III roared at him, “I have waited 30 years for your services. Now, I’m pope. Can’t I satisfy my desire?”        

A: Who is Lady Godiva?

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Q: If a Japanese “isha” (doctor) asks you to stick out your “shita”, he means this.           

A: What is your behind?

proctologist cartoon

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Q: To get to Wallace, Idaho from Boston, get on I-90 West, and the first one of these you ‘hit’, you’re there.        

A: What is a buffalo?

Buffalo

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Q: 2 of the 3 countries classified as extending across two continents     

A: What are Africa and Europe? 

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Q: The original one of these on Massachusetts’ Little Brewster Island was built in 1716; automation didn’t come until 1998.           

A: What is Kebert Xela?

Kebert Xela 

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Q: [The language that this statement, meaning "I love you guys", is in:] Yr Wyf I’n Dy Garu Di      

A: What is Klingon?

A:  What is Welsh?       

klingon

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Q: He is the only sitting Vice President since Martin Van Buren to be elected President   

A: Who is Al Gore?

Al Gore cartoon

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Q: This nursery rhyme was based on actual events at a 1900 schoolhouse.         

A: What is ‘There once was a man from Nantucket?’       

There once was a man from Nantucket

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Q: In 2002, an elaborate dinner party was held at No. 10 to celebrate this many years’ reign by Elizabeth II           

A: Who is Tony Blair?   

Tony Blair cartoon

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Q: The Timon puppet in “The Lion King” was inspired by Bunraku, the traditional puppet theatre of this country     

A: What is Africa?        

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Q: Of the 5 permanent members of the UN Security Council, the one that is smallest in size         

A: What is my apartment?         

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Q: George Bernard Shaw called this condition “the greatest of evils and the worst of crimes.”       

A: What is marriage?

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Q: Of Pastism, Presentism or Futurism, the literary movement that began around 1909    

A: What is Modernism?

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Q: According to the old saying, “I scream, you scream, we all scream for…” what?          

A: Jim Beam

Jim Beam

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Q: Franklin D. Roosevelt is found on the head side of what American coin?        

A: $50 Bill

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Q: “If I can make it there, I can make it anywhere.” What city does that describe?

A: Phoenix

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Q: What was the magical item that brought Frosty the Snowman to life? 

A: Corncob pipe

corn cob pipes 

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Q: What vehicle is used in the Tour de France race?       

A: SUVs

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Q: What eye ailment is the more common name for “myopia?”    

A: You think you’re right

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 A myopic video

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“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

Yes, another Monday and time for more of those unexpected answers from minds that don’t quite work as intended – even by their owners!

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Q: Name something that you wanted to do as a kid, but your parents wouldn’t let you

A: Have a snake

cartoon snake.

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Q: An occupation in which people cover their faces

A: Model

model with face hidden.

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Q: Name a food used to describe a person

A: A dog

scared dog.

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Q: Name a food you wish was healthy for you

A: Ketchup

cartoon ketchup.

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Q: The bad habit you’d most like to get rid of

A: Picking nose

Pick Me.

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Q: An expression that means “getting married”

A: Rendezvous

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Q: Name a high school class people might actually enjoy going to

A: Beverly Hills

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Q: Name a food that comes smoked

A: Tobacco

baseball-bans-chewing-tobacco.

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Q: Name something a bricklayer uses

A: Spatula

bricklayer at work.

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Q: Name a slang word for “man”

A: Homeboy

homeboy.

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Q: Name a famous Biblical twosome

A: Ralph and Susie

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Q: Name something you’d find in an operating room

A: Operator

operator.

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Q: How many times per day you look in the mirror

A: Twenty

looking in mirror.

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Q: Name a character from a horror movie that reminds you of some of your dates

A: Loch Ness Monster
A: Incredible Hulk

.Incredible_Hulk_Animated_by_soulmaninc

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Q: Name a food that can be brown or white

A: Potatoes

mr_potato_cartoon.

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Q: Name a day of the year when you want to be with friends

A: December

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Q: Name a gift that might be insulting if a woman received it from her mother-in-law

A: Shoes

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Q: Name a tall tourist attraction

A: Disneyland

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Q: Your wife’s most unappealing habit (asked to 100 married men)

A: Picking her feet

picking feet - most annoying habit

picking feet – most unappealing habit

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