Stupid Quiz Show Answers

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Regrettably I think we are coming close to end of my supply of stupid quiz show answers. It has been a good series and actually lasted a lot longer than I first thought. And some of them have been very amusing as well. All in all it has been well received.

I’ll call this the penultimate selection. It may contain some repeats, but they made me laugh when I read them again and if they do that then I hope they may do the same for you too.

Enjoy.

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Q. What “U” are the Eastern Europeans who originated the tradition of painting Easter eggs?

A.  Yugoslavians

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Q.  What “S” is the nearest star to the earth?      

A.  Saturn

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Q.  Name a drink you recognize by its smell      

A.  Potatoes

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Q.  Something a husband and wife should have separate of       

A.  Parents

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Q.  Name a hobby people take up for the thrills involved

A.  Stamp collecting

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Q.  Name a word that starts with the letter Q      

A.  Cute

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Q.  Name a signer of the Declaration of Independence   

A.  Thomas Edison

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Q.  Something that lets a burglar know that a house is unoccupied         

A.  No people in the house

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Q.  Like “sugar bowl”, a bowl that’s named for the substance it contains

A.  Toilet bowl

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Q.  Name a fictional island        

A.  Rhode Island

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Q. Name one of Santa’s reindeer

A.  Nixon

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Q.  Name a beverage you stir before drinking    

A.  Water

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Q.  Name the heaviest item in your house

A.  600 pounds

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Q.  Something starting with “egg”          

A.  Excellent

A.  Eggland

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Q.  Name an actor who played a gangster

A.  Al Capone

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Q.  Name a character from the movie Aladdin    

A.  Jihad

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Q.  Name something with claws 

A.  Christmas

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Q.  A man’s name that starts with the letter “P”   

A.  Porcupine

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Q.  Name a pie that does not contain fruit

A.  Lemon Meringue

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Q.  Name a room in the house where the family gathers  

A.  Bathroom

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CLASSIFIED: For your Eyes Only, Part Eighteen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Welcome to the latest batch of classified ads that failed the one simple test that all advertisements should pass

– did it say what it was supposed to say?

These didn’t.

Enjoy.

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Yes Of Course They’re Real!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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A few people have asked me if the quiz show answers that I use on the fasab blog are all genuine or did I make some of them up for comic effect.

It’s not that I would be beyond doing things to get a laugh sometimes, but to answer the question for everyone who considered it:

Yes they are all genuine answers.

Yes, people are genuinely that stupid.

Yes, it’s hard to believe but it’s true.

Still not convinced?

Need evidence direct from the horses’ mouths?

Grab yourself a nice cup of coffee and take 15 minutes or so to watch the video.

Enjoy (and never doubt fasab again…… well not all the time.)

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CLASSIFIED: For Your Eyes Only, Part Seventeen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Here we go with another bunch of classified ads.

They looked perfect, but not to most people.

Enjoy.

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You Can Pick Any Subject And Still Be Sure Quiz Show Contestants Will Know Nothing About It

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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I’m not sure how many more of these quiz show answers are left in the archives, but there are enough for today’s selection.

It doesn’t seem to matter what subject the questions are about, you are still almost guaranteed that a quiz show contestant will not only know nothing about it, but will come up with the most irrelevant and absurd answers.

Enjoy.

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Q:  Who played agent 007 in the 1989 film Licence To Kill?

A:  Err…………James Bond?

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Q:  With whom did Britain go to war over the Falklands?

A:  Err   .          .          .

Q:  It s a South American country.

A:  Iran.

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Q:  Name a domestic animal.

A:  Leopard.

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Q:  Name a game you can play in the bath.

A:  Scuba diving.

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Q:  How many strings does a guitar have?

A:  Err   …Four.

Q:  It s the number of wives that Henry VIII had   .          .          .

A:  Oh! Five.

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Q: Name a prime number between 20 and 40.

A: Between 20 and 40?

Q: Yes.

A: 7. 

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Q: After his abdication, King Edward VIII of England became known as the Duke of where?

A: Duke of Earl. 

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Q: Who wrote Hamlet?

A: Um, MacBeth.

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Q: What insect is commonly found hovering above lakes?

A: Crocodiles.

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Q: Name an animal whose eggs you probably never eat for breakfast.

A: Hamster.

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Q: What creature squirts a smelly, unpleasant fluid at its enemies?

A: A snake.

Q: No, I’ll give you a clue — it’s black and white.

A: A bee!

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Q: Which character narrates all but four of the Sherlock Holmes books?

A: The Pink Panther.

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Q: What is the capital of Australia? And it’s not Sydney.

A: Sydney.

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Q: We’re looking for a four-letter answer here. Shakespeare said that this by any other name would smell as sweet.

A: Soap?

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Q: The four Gospels of the New Testament are attributed to Matthew, Mark, John and who?

A: Joe.

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CLASSIFIED: For Your Eyes Only, Part Sixteen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Welcome to another edition of the classified ads. Those advertisements that didn’t quite turn out as planned in the minds of those who devised them.

The first one reminded me of a small take-away Chinese establishment in a town near where I used to live. A friend and I stopped off there on the way home from work one evening, both of us hungry but not wanting to waste the time going for a sit-down meal.

We ordered our food and all went well. The take-away had an excellent reputation for producing good food and it was always very busy.

Sure enough after about ten minutes or so our ticket was called and I went up to the counter to collect.

It wasn’t the usual girl on duty that evening, but a small rather elderly Chinese lady.

Had it been the usual girl she would have known to pack some utensils, like a plastic fork, in the bag, but instead the little Chinese lady looked up into my face and asked in a heavily accented but loud voice for all to hear,

“D’ya wanna fok?”

There was momentary silence, no one quite knowing what they thought they had heard. Then my mouth got in the way of good sense and I said, “No thanks, I’m just in to get something to eat.”

Then everyone laughed and I made my way out of the place before any further conversation or explanation.

As it turns out the joke was on me in the end because I left without getting a ‘fok’ so the meal had to wait until I got home.

So that by way of anecdotal introduction leads us nicely to today’s classifieds.

Enjoy!

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The Madness Continues

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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It’s Monday again and the madness continues with another round of quiz show answers given by the seeming multitude of intellectually challenged people who decide to let the world see their stupidity.

Enjoy.  

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Q: What “A” is the term for a set of symbols in which each character represents a simple speech sound?

A: Aural

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Q: The pain in the muscles or bones of the lower legs, often suffered by sportsmen, is known as shin…?      

A: …dler’s List  

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Q: In spelling, what consonant is found in both “good” and “bad”?         

A: O

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Q: Which large mammal is adapted to sandy conditions, having protective eyelashes, nostrils than can be closed, and broad, soft feet?         

A: Alligator

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Q: In agriculture, irrigation involves supplying farmland with which substance essential for growth?          

A: Weeds

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Q:  Who sang the song ‘Je t’aime’ with Jane Birkin?

A:  Jacques Chirac.

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Q:  Which Danish city is famous for its statue of a mermaid?

A:  Denmark.

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Q:  What is the name of the long- running British TV comedy show about pensioners: Last Of The …?

A:  Mohicans.

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Q:  We’re looking for a word that goes in front of ‘clock’.

A:  Grandfather. 

Q:  Grandfather clock is already up there, say something else.

A:  Panda.

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Q:  What is the nationality of the Pope?

A:  I think I know that one. Is it Jewish?

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Q:  How many kings of England have been called Henry?

A:  Er, well, I know there was a Henry the Eighth.. er, er, three?

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Q:  Which British prime minister famously said: ‘We have become a grandmother’?

A:  John Major.

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Q:  What  L  do you make in the dark, when you don t consider the consequences?

A:  Love?

Q:  No, I’m sorry, I’m afraid the actual answer was ‘leap’.

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Q:  The Beatles were known as the Fab . . .?

A:  Five.

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CLASSIFIED: For Your Eyes Only, Part Fifteen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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You would think that nothing would be easier than to think up a short ad for your business or something you had to sell. I mean, why blow lots of cash on advertising companies?

This could help explain why.

Enjoy.

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It’s Monday And That Means Some More Quiz Show Answers.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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It’s Monday and that means some more quiz show answers.

I can’t make up my mind if they are getting worse every week, but they don’t ever seem to improve much that’s for sure!

Enjoy.

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Q: What hard cheese derives its name from the city of Rome?   

A: Swiss

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Q: Who are the cartoon mascots of Rice Krispies cereal?           

A: Crispy & Crunch

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Q: In religion, the Jehovah’s Witnesses distribute Awake and what other magazine?         

A: MAD

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Q: What stock symbol does International Business Machines trade under?          

A: NYB

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Q: What former child actor played the sympathetic Cornelius in the original “Planet of the Apes”?

A: Gary Coleman

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Q: In 1994, what sporting event was canceled due to a player’s strike?    

A: China

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Q: What “T” is both an item of underwear and a rising column of warm air?         

A: Turtle

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Q: The name of what ceremony of the installation of a new monarch comes from the Latin for “crown”?   

A: Head           

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Q: Which US state is home to the Boston Symphony Orchestra?

A: Boston

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Q: What cast member of “The Carol Burnett Show” played the title character on NBC’s “Mama’s Family?” 

A: Mama

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Q: Which figure skater was implicated in the 1994 attack on Olympic teammate Nancy Kerrigan? 

A: Monica Lewinsky

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Q: In nature, most unripe fruit is which color, purple or green?    

A: Plum

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Q: What was the name of Madonna’s concert tour in 1990?        

A: Blond Tart    

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Q: The name of which small, wingless, jumping insect precedes “bite”, “collar”, and “market” to give three familiar terms?

A: Bicycle        

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CLASSIFIED: For Your Eyes Only, Part Fourteen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Time for a few more examples of the intellectualy challenged making life a bit more difficult for themselves than it should be.

Think that advertising your stuff for sale is easy? Nope, not for everyone.

Read on and enjoy.

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And finally for today, the sad case of Mr R D Jones and Mrs Kelly whose happy relationship was destroyed by the idiots in his newspaper classified ads section….

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