Archive for the ‘Bloopers’ Category

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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In the town where I went to school the local photography shop was the place to go when you needed a photo for a passport or driving license or whatever. The guy who owned the store invariably came out with the following line when he got you positioned and was ready to take the shot…

“Would you like a good photograph

…..or one that looks like you?”

It’s easy to be cynical and complain about new technologies. Although on the whole I embrace new technology, I have at times been highly critical about some aspects (as with recent short series about the awful auto-correct cell phone feature - check out the “Bloopers” section if you want to see them).

But new technology has on most occasions made life easier or more convenient. And at times a lot less expensive.

Photography is one area where there can be no doubt that for most people the advances made with digital photography is a big plus.

Just as with musical recordings there are still purists out there who use reel-to-reel tape and prefer the crackly authenticity of vinyl LP records, with photography there are some who prefer to develop and print their own photographs.

For my part, however, the days of running down to the local pharmacy with my 35mm film and then repeating the process the next day to get the prints, many of which weren’t worth the expense and bother, are over. And thank goodness for that!

Nowadays you can snap 100 photos, pick out the best 20 or so, use your personal computer software (even free stuff like Google’s Picasa) to crop and improve them and then print off either professionally or on your own home printer only the ones you really like (the ‘keepers’ we call them).

Of course, there’s always a downside. And the BIG downside to all this is that there really is no excuse nowadays for taking a bad photo – and printing it!

Unfortunately that message hasn’t reached a lot of people yet, as the following examples illustrate.

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“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Don’t worry too much if you don’t know the answer to the question in the title, or even if you don’t understand the question.

We are in the realm of cell phone auto-correct again, so anything can happen.

Enjoy.

As always the health and safety warning applies to those of a nervous disposition who are likely to be offended by strong explicit language.

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“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Not sure about the title? Don’t worry, all will become a little clearer in a moment.

Suffice to say we’re having another tussle with auto-correct!

Enjoy.

Usual health and safety applies to those of a nervous disposition who may be offended by adult themes and language.

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“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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A sentiment no doubt felt by many as they struggle with texting on their cell phones.

Here is the latest selection of casualties.

Enjoy.

Usual health and safety warning applies for those of a nervous disposition likely to be offended by strong and explicit language.

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“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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I suppose if you asked the people who invented it, they would try to tell you that the auto-correct feature on cell phones is meant to do two things, 1) to help you to spell words correctly and 2) to save you time by automatically finishing the word you are typing into your text message.

Well, here’s a bit of news for any of them who may read this – it fails miserably on both counts!

Spelling correctly a word you are not trying to type is as useless as replacing the word you want to use with another that is completely unconnected with what you are trying to say.

I spend more time re-entering words into my phone that would send ten messages if they left me alone.

Yes, autocorrect is definitely the bean of my life!

Now for the funny bits….

(Usual health and safety warning applies if you are of a nervous disposition or likely to be offended by strong or graphic language. Proceed at your own risk!)

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“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Last week I had a bit of a rant about one of the most annoying inventions of modern times, the hellish auto-correct feature on our cell phones.

The examples at the end of that rant proved to quite funny.

So, with the appropriate health and safety warning for those likely to be offended by strong and explicit language, here is another selection.

Enjoy.

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“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Today I’m talking techo, well sort of.

As time moves on – and it’s moving on far too fast – more and more things tend to irritate me.

The stupidity and bureaucracy we have to endure is the thing that inspired this blog in the first place and that remains a huge thorn in my side. I have made many comments on that subject and given the opportunity will no doubt make many more.

But another thing that pisses me off more and more is almost the opposite of stupidity – it is people trying to be too damn smart.

Nowhere is this more noticeable than in the technology that we use today.

Now, I’m not a technophobe by any stretch of the imagination. I love my computers and the advent of the internet was one of the greatest things ever, as far as I was concerned. Indeed I have blogged in the past about my long love affair with computers  click here to read it.

Maybe it’s because of that long love affair, because I have been involved with computers for so many years, that what is happening now irritates me so much.

What I’m talking about is the fact that today’s personal computers and tablets and telephones and all the other periphery of techo gadgets try to do far too much for their owners. Everyone who has one of these machines is apparently a moron, or at least that’s how the manufacturers seem to treat us.

In the good old days you actually had to work at making your computer do things. Your telephone in those days made telephone calls and that was about it. And tablets were the things the doctor prescribed when you were feeling poorly.

To cut what could well turn into a very long list of current irritations into a manageable size, let me concentrate on just a few of the most horrible things that we now have to face.

In fact, rather than go on and on I’ll split this post over a few days.

Today it’s telephones.

Like I just said, I remember the days when phones were used to make phone calls – seemed logical enough to us at the time. Now they do all sorts of things. You can still phone people when you figure out how, but now you can also text, surf the internet, send and receive video messages and calls, play games, buy stuff – in fact almost everything you can do on your computer you can now do on a smart phone. And most of them have reasonable quality cameras too.

For a while those who could afford a cell phone were lumbered with a thing the size of a brick and it weighed almost as much too!

You can see one of those in the photo below (far left!). You can still get them, or rather a modern version if you want to draw a bit of attention to yourself – and there are always people who do.

evolution-phone

As the years went on the phones kept getting smaller and smaller. That was good for a while. They became light and pocket sized. But miniaturization became the trend, and cell phones got really really really small to the extent that unless you had the fingers of a five year old child instead of chubby man paws it was a struggle to find the right numbers to make a call and a nightmare to send a text.

Then, mainly because of the advance of wifi and 3G and 4G and so forth, cell phones started to get bigger again to the extent that they are nearly back to the size of that brick again, albeit a lot thinner and lighter. Glasses are the next step, with a heads up view just like on the helmet visors of those jet fighters you see in the movies. And sometime in the not too distant future you will just need a silicone chip embedded at the back of your ear-hole. Not sure I’ll go for that last one though.

That’s a potted history of the cell phone, but now for the really irritating part.

When texting really took off and became the most popular form of communication when using a cell phone, someone – they won’t tell me his name probably for his own safety – decided that we needed help writing a text. Not what I call a “speel chekkar” that is available on your computer – which would have been acceptable – but a much more sinister and annoying invention.

Guessed what it is yet?

Yes, it’s “auto-correct” or as it likes to call itself “anal cortex”.

I hate this thing with a passion. I disconnect it on every device I can because it doesn’t work!

Auto-correct has not the slightest idea what you are trying to say. It is unnecessary, frustrating, irritating and useless.

It has only one saving grace that I have found.

Sometimes it’s funny.

If you are not likely to be offended by strong language, have a look at some of the examples below and you’ll see exactly what I mean.

Enjoy.

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“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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As far as silly names are concerned there are no boundaries.

It doesn’t seem to matter whether it is a place, a person or a product silly names are there.

And here! 

Enjoy.

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“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Yet more silly names to amuse.

I’m still trying to figure out whether these are a help or a hindrance. As far as businesses go they sure do make them memorable, but in a good way or a bad way?

I’ll let you decide.

Enjoy.

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