Archive for January, 2014

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Hi and welcome to another week and another quiz.

Twenty more random questions to test you knowledge, some easy and some difficult, but there are a few multi-pointers in to help you with your score.

As usual the answers can be found waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay down below, but please NO cheating.

Enjoy and good luck.

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quiz confused1

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Q.  1:  How many ‘contiguous’ states are there in the United States of America?

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Q.  2:  In which movie would you find the robot or cyborg known as the ‘T-800’?

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Q.  3:  The 2014 Winter Olympics are being held next month (February 2014) in what country? (A bonus point is available if you can also name the City.)

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Q.  4:  Where were the previous (2010) Winter Olympics held and what location has been chosen for the next Winter Olympics in 2018? (A point for each and bonus points if you can also name the Cities.)

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Q.  5:  Which company built the ‘1972 911 Carrera RS’ classic automobile?

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Q.  6:  In what country did the soup known as ‘Miso’ originate?

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Q.  7:  Name the fictional detective associated with ‘Mrs. Hudson’.

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Q.  8:  What kind of mixed drink takes its name from the Hindi or Sanskrit word for ‘five’?

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Q.  9:  What is the common name for the garden flower ‘Helianthus’?

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Q. 10:  ‘Thimpu’ is the capital of what country?

            a) Nepal        b) Bhutan        c) Bahrain

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Q. 11:  Where was Super Bowl XLVII played on February 3, 2013?

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Q. 12:  In the late 1960s and early 1970s Leonard Nimoy starred in two classic television series, what were they? (Yes, a point for each correct answer and bonus points for the names of the characters he portrayed.)

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Q. 13:  ‘Rosalind’, ‘Portia’ and ‘Ophelia’ are moons of which planet?

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Q. 14:  A picture of Betty Grable wearing a white bathing suit made her the most popular pin-up of which war?

            a) WWI        b) WWII        c) Korea        d) Vietnam

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Q. 15:  Scandinavia is a large region of Northern Europe. What are the four mainland countries and one island nation that are generally collectively known as ‘Scandinavia’? (A point for each correct answer.)

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Q. 16:  As of the end of 2013, who has won the Academy award for Best Actor the most times? (Bonus points if you can name the movies too.)

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Q. 17:  What sort of creature is a whinchat?

            a) fish        b) insect        c) bird        d) mammal

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Q. 18:  ‘Columbo’,  ‘Morse’,  ‘Magnum’,  ‘Bergerac’,  and  ‘Nash Bridges’ were all television detectives and policemen who had one thing in common apart from their jobs, what was it?

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Q. 19:  With one word complete the following Acme Corporation inventions in ‘The Roadrunner’.

           a) dehydrated  _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _    and, b) portable  _ _ _ _ _

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Q. 20:  Released in 1954, a single by Bill Haley & His Comets became one of the best selling songs of all time with sales of 25 million. What was it?      

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ANSWERS

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Q.  1:  How many ‘contiguous’ states are there in the United States of America?

A.  1:  48.

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Q.  2:  In which movie would you find the robot or cyborg known as the ‘T-800’?

A.  2:  Terminator.

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Q.  3:  The 2014 Winter Olympics are being held next month (February 2014) in what country? (A bonus point is available if you can also name the City.)

A.  3:  The 2014 XXII Winter Olympics will be held in Sochi, Russia.

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Q.  4:  Where were the previous (2010) Winter Olympics held and what location has been chosen for the next Winter Olympics in 2018? (A point for each and bonus points if you can also name the Cities.)

A.  4:  Vancouver, Canada in 2010 and Pyeongchang, South Korea in 2018.

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Q.  5:  Which company built the ‘1972 911 Carrera RS’ classic automobile?

A.  5:  Porsche.

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Q.  6:  In what country did the soup known as ‘Miso’ originate?

A.  6:  Japan.

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Q.  7:  Name the fictional detective associated with ‘Mrs. Hudson’.

A.  7:  Sherlock Holmes.

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Q.  8:  What kind of mixed drink takes its name from the Hindi or Sanskrit word for ‘five’?

A.  8:  Punch.

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Q.  9:  What is the common name for the garden flower ‘Helianthus’?

A.  9:  Sunflower.

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Q. 10:  ‘Thimpu’ is the capital of what country?

            a) Nepal        b) Bhutan        c) Bahrain

A. 10:  b) Bhutan.

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Q. 11:  Where was Super Bowl XLVII played on February 3, 2013?

A. 11:  At the Mercedes-Benz Superdome in New Orleans, Louisiana.

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Q. 12:  In the late 1960s and early 1970s Leonard Nimoy starred in two classic television series, what were they? (Yes, a point for each correct answer and bonus points for the names of the characters he portrayed.)

A. 12:  Mr. Spock in Star Trek (1966-1969, 79 episodes) and Paris in Mission Impossible (1969-1971, 49 episodes).

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Q. 13:  ‘Rosalind’, ‘Portia’ and ‘Ophelia’ are moons of which planet?

A. 13:  Uranus.

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Q. 14:  A picture of Betty Grable wearing a white bathing suit made her the most popular pin-up of which war?

            a) WWI        b) WWII        c) Korea        d) Vietnam

A. 14:  b) WWII

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Q. 15:  Scandinavia is a large region of Northern Europe. What are the four mainland countries and one island nation that are generally collectively known as ‘Scandinavia’? (A point for each correct answer.)

A. 15:  Norway, Sweden, Denmark, Finland, and Iceland.

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Q. 16:  As of the end of 2013, who has won the Academy award for Best Actor the most times? (Bonus points if you can name the movies too.)

A. 16:  Daniel Day-Lewis. (In 1990 for ‘My Left Foot’, in 2008 for ‘There Will Be Blood’, and in 2013 for ‘Lincoln’.)

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Q. 17:  What sort of creature is a whinchat?

            a) fish        b) insect        c) bird        d) mammal

A. 17:  c) bird.

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Q. 18:  ‘Columbo’,  ‘Morse’,  ‘Magnum’,  ‘Bergerac’,  and  ‘Nash Bridges’ were all television detectives and policemen who had one thing in common apart from their jobs, what was it?

A. 18:  They all drove classic or distinctive cars.

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Q. 19:  With one word complete the following Acme Corporation inventions in ‘The Roadrunner’.

           a) dehydrated  _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _    and, b) portable  _ _ _ _ _

A. 19:  a) dehydrated boulders   and, b) portable holes

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Q. 20:  Released in 1954, a single by Bill Haley & His Comets became one of the best selling songs of all time with sales of 25 million. What was it?      

A. 20: “Rock Around the Clock”

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“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Pun day again. How quickly they seem to come around.

Here’s the latest selection.

Enjoy or endure!

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rofl

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The key to winning world’s best chiropodist title is no mean feet.

worlds_greatest_podiatrist_women_cartoon_poster

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I got woken up at 5am today by a bird tweeting.

If she doesn’t get a grip on her Internet addiction soon, I’m dumping her.

Woman in front of a computer with Twitter logo

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Mulled wine is just wine that people think a lot about.

mulled wine

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My friend told me he is going to a fancy dress

party as a native American warrior.

I thought, that’s brave.

indian brave

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I’ve just given a ten minute presentation

about underwear to Stephen Hawking.

It was a timed history of briefs.

Stephen Hawking A Brief History Of Time

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My friend asked me,

“Why are you so lazy when it comes to numbers?”

I said “You do the maths.”

math problem

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Dave the slug and Pete the termite are in the pub.

“I’d love to win the lottery,” Dave the slug said.

“Not me,” replied Pete the termite. “No way.”

“Why not?” asked Dave the slug.

“It would be a nightmare,” Pete the termite said.

“I’d have all my family crawling out of the woodwork after a share.”

termite cartoon

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I said to the wife, “How come I never find you in the mood for sex?”

She replied, “You don’t look hard enough.”

husband and wife in bed cartoon

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I always pray before I play a game of pool.

That way the angles help me.

pool shark

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Reports are coming in of a huge explosion

in a baking powder factory.

Police are expecting casualties to rise.

explosion in factory

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My wife gets furious when I put her down in front of my friends.

But it’s really embarrassing carrying around a 35 year old woman.

man-holding-woman

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What is small, red and whispers?

A hoarse raddish.

cartoon-radish-raising-his-hands

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While trekking in Nepal I saw a Yeti with an awesome six-pack.

Must have been the abdominal snowman.

abdominable snowman

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To become a good dentist,

you need a degree in Flossify.

flossing cartoon

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Just found out that ‘Aaarrrggghhh’ is not a real word.

I can’t even tell you how angry I am!

aaarrrggghhh

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“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Welcome to another fact finding day on the fasab blog.

Fifteen more very random but hopefully interesting facts that you probably didn’t know.

Enjoy.

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did you know4

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If you live in France,

and happen to own a pig,

it is illegal to name it ‘Napoleon’.

pig Napoleon

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50 of the 83 restaurants

featured on Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares

have been sold or shut down.

ramsays-kitchen-nightmares

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In Turkey, it is illegal for a man

over 80 years old to become a pilot.

pilot turkey

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It took 127 beers to make Andre The Giant

pass out in a hotel lobby;

 he was so big, hotel management couldn’t

move him and left him there until the next day.

Andres-Hand-beer

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If you have the plague you are not

permitted to flag down a taxi in London.

London taxi

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If a set of identical twin women

married a set of identical twin men

and subsequently had children,

their kids would genetically be siblings.

nicoleandjaqueline

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Every year Louis Vuitton burns

all of its unsold stock of bags.

Louis_Vuitton_Speedy_Hand_Bags

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It is against the law in Barbados to wear any camouflage clothing,

but, hey, if it’s good enough whose going to notice?

bushgreen camouflage

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Sean Connery wore a wig in every

one of his Bond performances.

Sean Connery James Bond

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Whilst chewing gum in Singapore is not illegal,

importing it, or selling it,

or spitting it on to the pavement definitely is.

Singapore gum sign

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Peter Sellers was paid $1 million for his

part in the movie Dr. Strangelove,

55 percent of the film’s budget.

peter-sellers-as-dr-strangelove

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In Canada stores are not

legally required to accept coins

Canadian-Specimen-Set-Coins

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The United Arab Emirates donated a laptop

to every high school student in Joplin, Missouri,

after the city had been devastated by a tornado.

Joplin, Missouri after tornado

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Astronaut Pete Conrad’s first sentence on the moon was

“Oooh, is that soft an queasy”,

said in order to win a $500 bet.

pete conrad

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And speaking of the Moon,

the Moonwalk predates Michael Jackson by at least 50 years,

having been performed by James Brown, David Bowie,

Dick Van Dyke and Cab Calloway.

(MJ is still the best at it though.)

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“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Yes, brain exercise it is. Quiz day again folks.

Another random mixture of subjects and questions, some easy, some difficult and some you know you should know.

As usual the answers are given waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay down below, but please NO cheating!

Enjoy and good luck.

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quiz 10

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Q.  1:  What name links the standard infantry rifle of the US Army from 1873 to 1936 and the popular animated television series ‘The Simpsons’?

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Q.  2:  ‘Backrub’ was the original name for what well known company?

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Q.  3:  ‘Robert’, ‘Aurore’, ‘Apple’, ‘White’, ‘Mornay’, ‘Ivory’ and ‘Reform’ are all examples of what?

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Q.  4:  What nationality was Winston Churchill’s mother?

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Q.  5:  What does the Russian word ‘Sputnik’ mean?

           a. Satellite    b. Little traveler    c. Star light

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Q.  6:  Brian Warner is the real name of which American singer?

           a) Kid Rock        b) Axl Rose         c) Marilyn Manson

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Q.  7:  The Simplon Rail Tunnel links Switzerland with which country?

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Q.  8:  In which animated Disney movies would one find the following characters? (One point for each correct answer)

           a) Pumba,     b) Si & Am,     c) Pongo,     d) Edna E. Mode

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Q.  9:  Which French philosopher is associated with the quote, “Cogito ergo sum” (I think, therefore I am)?

            a) Jean Paul Sarte         b) Rene Descartes         c) Blaise Pascal

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Q. 10:  ‘Blepharoplasty’  is cosmetic surgery on what part of the body?

            a) ears         b) upper arms         c) eyelids

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Q. 11:  It’s the stage name of WWF wrestler-turned-actor Dwayne Johnson and the name of a movie starring Nicholas Cage and Sean Connery, what is it?

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Q. 12:  Which baseball star married Marilyn Monroe in 1954?

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Q. 13:  The herb ‘coriander’ belongs to which family of vegetable?

            a) carrot         b) beetroot         c) cabbage

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Q. 14:  Excluding television, radio and ‘unofficial’ versions, six actors have played the role of James Bond, name them. (A point for each and a bonus point if you get them in the correct chronological order.)

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Q. 15:  The Earth’s position in the solar system gave the inspiration for what television series?

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Q. 16:  What kind of Christmas present is ‘oil of Lebanon’?

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Q. 17:  Who did Omar Sharif play in a famous movie set in the USSR?

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Q. 18:  Everybody knows that the name of the Lone Ranger’s horse was ‘Silver’, but what was the name of his sidekick Tonto’s horse?

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Q. 19:  The name of which European country ‘apparently’ stems from a Carthaginian word meaning ‘Land of the rabbits’?

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Q. 20:  In which movie series are dilithium crystals used for fuel?

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ANSWERS

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Q.  1:  What name links the standard infantry rifle of the US Army from 1873 to 1936 and the animated television series ‘The Simpsons’?

A.  1:  Springfield.

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Q.  2:  ‘Backrub’ was the original name for what well known company?

A.  2:  Google.

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Q.  3:  ‘Robert’, ‘Aurore’, ‘Apple’, ‘White’, ‘Mornay’, ‘Ivory’ and ‘Reform’ are all examples of what?

A.  3:  Sauces.

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Q.  4:  What nationality was Winston Churchill’s mother?

A.  4:  American, Winston Churchill’s mother was born in Brooklyn.

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Q.  5:  What does the Russian word ‘Sputnik’ mean?

            a. Satellite    b. Little traveler    c. Star light

A.  5:  a. Satellite.

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Q.  6:  Brian Warner is the real name of which American singer?

           a) Kid Rock        b) Axl Rose         c) Marilyn Manson

A.  6:  c) Marilyn Manson.

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Q.  7:  The Simplon Rail Tunnel links Switzerland with which country?

A.  7:  Italy.

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Q.  8:  In which animated Disney movies would one find the following characters? (One point for each correct answer)

           a) Pumba,     b) Si & Am,     c) Pongo,     d) Edna E. Mode

A.  8:  a) Pumba in The Lion King;   b) Si & Am in The Lady & the Tramp,

    c) Pongo in 101 Dalmations; and,   d) Edna E. Mode in The Incredibles

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Q.  9:  Which French philosopher is associated with the quote, “Cogito ergo sum” (I think, therefore I am)?

            a) Jean Paul Sarte         b) Rene Descartes         c) Blaise Pascal

A.  9:  b) Rene Descartes.

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Q. 10:  ‘Blepharoplasty’  is cosmetic surgery on what part of the body?

            a) ears         b) upper arms         c) eyelids

A. 10:  c) eyelids.

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Q. 11:  It’s the stage name of WWF wrestler-turned-actor Dwayne Johnson and the name of a movie starring Nicholas Cage and Sean Connery, what is it?

A. 11:  The Rock.

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Q. 12:  Which baseball star married Marilyn Monroe in 1954?

A. 12:  Joe DiMaggio.

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Q. 13:  The herb ‘coriander’ belongs to which family of vegetable?

            a) carrot         b) beetroot         c) cabbage

A. 13:  a) carrot.

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Q. 14:  Excluding television, radio and ‘unofficial’ versions, six actors have played the role of James Bond, name them. (A point for each and a bonus point if you get them in the correct chronological order.)

A. 14:  Sean Connery,  George Lazenby,  Roger Moore,  Timothy Dalton,  Pierce Brosnan  and  Daniel Craig.

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Q. 15:  The Earth’s position in the solar system gave the inspiration for what television series?

A. 15:  The very successful sitcom ‘3rd Rock from the Sun’.

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Q. 16:  What kind of Christmas present is ‘oil of Lebanon’?

A. 16:  Frankincense.

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Q. 17:  Who did Omar Sharif play in a famous movie set in the USSR?

A. 17:  Zhivago.

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Q. 18:  Everybody knows that the name of the Lone Ranger’s horse was ‘Silver’, but what was the name of his sidekick Tonto’s horse?

A. 18:  The answer I’m looking for here is ‘Scout’, although if you answered ‘White Feller’, the name of his first horse you also get a point – 2 points if you knew both!

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Q. 19:  The name of which European country ‘apparently’ stems from a Carthaginian word meaning ‘Land of the rabbits’?

A. 19:  Spain. (Ispania from ‘Sphan’ meaning rabbit).

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Q. 20:  In which movie series are dilithium crystals used for fuel?

A. 20:  The ‘Star Trek’ movie series.

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“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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The Sunday Sermon

black_hawk_down

You may remember, more because of the movie than anything else probably, an incident in 1993 called ‘Black Hawk Down’ which caused American troops to leave Somalia.

At that time they had been stationed there as part of a United Nations ‘stabilization’ operation – whatever that is.

President Clinton abandoned that effort after the ‘Battle of Mogadishu’ in which nearly 20 American soldiers were killed and horrific images of their bodies being dragged through the streets by Somalia militiamen had been seen all over the world on television.

Since then American military and intelligence efforts have been in the form of funding the Somalia military and using remotely controlled drones to keep an eye on what is happening on the ground and perhaps more.

Or so we thought. After all, the last thing we want to do is get bogged down again on the ground in such an inhospitable place.

Cue the Obama administration and guess what? Yep, the US Army has once again secretly stationed a group of regular troops in Somalia. Since October last year a “military coordination cell” has been established in Somalia that, to quote the officer in charge, “is now fully operational”.

I’m not sure even Obama knows what they are there to do. There isn’t an American embassy to protect and they would hardly be there to draw unwanted attention to the people from charlie india alpha, would they?

Official sources say the army unit has been tasked with “advising and coordinating” operations by African troops against al-Shabaab, the al-Qaeda-linked group that controls large parts of Somalia.

Okay, so let’s say US forces have been deployed in Africa as part of the war against terror.

So perhaps that establishes what US Foreign Policy strategy is, i.e. to fight the war against terror.

Doesn’t it?

Well, no.

Let’s move a bit further north-east. To Syria in fact.

For the past while the US has been covertly backing the anti-Assad forces in the Syrian conflict. Seemed to make sense since Assad is friends with the likes of Iran and Russia. Except for the fact that the anti-Assad forces were in fact made up of the same type of al-Qaeda-linked groups that the US is against in Somalia.

Confused? You should be.

If there was any principle involved they would have been better not backing either side. But of course principle and politics rarely mix.

And just to add to the confusion it was confirmed last week that secret meetings have been held between ‘Western intelligence officials’ and senior members of the Syrian government, aimed at “combating radical Islamist groups” in Syria.

But wait!

Maybe it IS all beginning to make sense. At least we can detect a consistent pattern emerging, and it seems to be this:

  • ignore the long term dangers, and fund and supply terrorist groups just because they happen to be at odds with people you don’t like; and then when you realize what a mess you’ve made, send in American troops to correct the mistake, never mind that they are going to get killed and maimed by weapons paid for by America.

American foreign policy has been a shambles for decades. It doesn’t get better by repeating the same mistakes over and over again.

America has the strength and the military power to police the world, of that there is no doubt. But does that mean it really has to? Especially when the policy to direct such a strategy is made by incompetent politicians who clearly do not understand the world they are trying to police.

Confusion and failure has been and will be the result. That and the needless sacrifice of the brave souls whose job it is to clear up the mess.

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“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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A day not sober is often a day wasted and a week without a pun day just isn’t worth thinking about.

So here you are, another short selection of the jokes you love to hate.

Enjoy or endure!

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rofl

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I always have a great laugh when I’m mountain climbing.

I find them hilly areas.

hilly areas

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The worst job I ever had was working in

a factory making cowboy records.

Howdy pressing.

howdy

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Say what you like about iPhones, but you can’t

speak I’ll about their clever autocorrect feature.

autocorrect dad-mom-out

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I spent all morning walking around in the wife’s panties.

She’s a big woman.

big-mamas-undies

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Had to fire my tailor.

It was nothing personal,

he just didn’t seam right.

suits-that-fit-bad-too-big-too-smal1

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My friend told me he was going to

a fancy dress party as an Italian island.

I said to him “Don’t be Sicily!”

sicily_malta_map

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I went to the Job Centre and all they

offered me was a job making beds.

I turned them down.

turndown

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My friend Dave asked me if I wanted him to

recite the first twenty one letters of the alphabet to me.

“It’s up to U” I replied.

up2u

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I used to have more money than sense,

Nowadays I’m broke AND stupid.

22-carat-gold-toilet-paper-for-the-rich-and-stupid-from-the-toilet-paper-man-in-australia-theflyingtortoise

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At last night’s pub quiz, a question came up:

“What is another name for a grey goose?”

I just couldn’t think of the Anser.

anser_erythropus

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My neighbor asked me what I thought of her kids.

I said, “They should go far.”

Brimming with pride, she said “Really?”

“Yes,” I said, “And the sooner they start, the better.”

bad kids

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Two removal men got into an argument.

They took it outside.

cartoon-removal-men

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Been using this blog to try my hand at writing.

So far, it’s being a lot more successful than my foot.

writing

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I have decided to start a company where all the money

made will buy bread for Indian children’s curries.

It will be a naan profit organization.

naan

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When I was a teenager my mum always used to say

that my room was so messy I’d never

get any ‘self respecting girl’ to go in there.

Luckily those weren’t the girls I was after.

drunk-girl

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