Archive for September, 2013

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Time to test yourself with the weekly fasab quiz.

Another twenty random questions, with the answers waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay down below.

But please, NO cheating!

Good luck and enjoy.

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quiz confused1

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Q.  1:  Which epic Hollywood film was the most expensive movie made during the 1960s?

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Q.  2:  Polynesia means ‘many islands’. What does Melanesia mean?

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Q.  3:  Which Beatles song title is mentioned in Don McLean’s hit song ‘American Pie’?

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Q.  4:  Which female tennis player won a record 62 Grand Slam titles?

            a) Billie Jean King

            b) Steffi Graf

            c) Martina Navratilova

            d) Margaret Smith Court

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Q.  5:  What was unusual about the Roman Senator Incitatus?

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Q.  6:  What two countries signed the so called ‘Pact of Steel’ on May 22, 1939?

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Q.  7:  Who travels from Spain to the Netherlands by steamboat in late November?

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Q.  8:  In what prison drama movie, based on a Steven King book, does Morgan Freeman play a starring role?

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Q.  9:  The scientific name for which animal is ‘Ursus arctos horribilis’?

            a) Grizzly bear

            b) Great White shark

            c) Grey wolf

            d) Killer whale

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Q. 10:  What was the name of the German engineer who invented the first rotary engine?

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Q. 11:  Formerly called ‘Tsaritsyn’ and then ‘Stalingrad’, what is it called today?

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Q. 12:  Lutz, Axel and Camel are terms associated with what sport?

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Q. 13:  What is the name for a treat with currants squashed between two thin, oblong biscuits/cookies?

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Q. 14:  Name the French cartoon skunk that is madly in love with a reluctant cat?

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Q. 15:  What is an ice hockey puck made from?

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Q. 16:  On the Voyager 1 spacecraft there is a golden record with greetings in different languages and a collection of various Earth sounds. There is also a 90 minute recording of music from many cultures. Which two composers appear the most on this record?

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Q. 17:  The name of which popular US band from the 1970s is an aboriginal expression used to describe an extremely cold evening?

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Q. 18:  Which four of the following seven Grand Slam winners were leftys? 

            a) Rod Laver

            b) Jimmy Connors

            c) Bjorn Borg

            d) John McEnroe

            e) Martina Navratilova

            f) Boris Becker

            g) Pancho Gonzales

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Q. 19:  What is the name for a Google search query consisting of exactly two words (actual words found in a dictionary) without quotation marks, that returns exactly one hit?

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Q. 20:  Which catchy hit song beginning with the words “Once upon a time there was a tavern” is an English version of a melancholic Russian gypsy song?

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ANSWERS

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Q.  1:  Which epic Hollywood film was the most expensive movie made during the 1960s?

A.  1:  Cleopatra

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Q.  2:  Polynesia means ‘many islands’. What does Melanesia mean?

A.  2:  Black islands

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Q.  3:  Which Beatles song title is mentioned in Don McLean’s hit song ‘American Pie’?

A.  3:  Helter Skelter (“Helter Skelter in the summer swelter”)

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Q.  4:  Which female tennis player won a record 62 Grand Slam titles?

            a) Billie Jean King

            b) Steffi Graf

            c) Martina Navratilova

            d) Margaret Smith Court

A.  4:  d) Margaret Smith Court

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Q.  5:  What was unusual about the Roman Senator Incitatus?

A.  5:  Incitatus was a horse.

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Q.  6:  What two countries signed the so called ‘Pact of Steel’ on May 22, 1939?

A.  6:  Nazi Germany and Fascist Italy.

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Q.  7:  Who travels from Spain to the Netherlands by steamboat in late November?

A.  7:  Sinterklaas / Santa Claus / St. Nicholas

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Q.  8:  In what prison drama movie, based on a Steven King book, does Morgan Freeman play a starring role?

A.  8:  The Shawshank Redemption

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Q.  9:  The scientific name for which animal is ‘Ursus arctos horribilis’?

            a) Grizzly bear

            b) Great White shark

            c) Grey wolf

            d) Killer whale

A.  9:  a) Grizzly bear

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Q. 10:  What was the name of the German engineer who invented the first rotary engine?

A. 10:  Wankel (the Wankel Rotary engine)

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Q. 11:  Formerly called Tsaritsyn and then Stalingrad, what is it called today?

A. 11:  Volgograd

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Q. 12:  Lutz, Axel and Camel are terms associated with what sport?

A. 12:  Figure skating

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Q. 13:  What is the name for a treat with currants squashed between two thin, oblong biscuits/cookies?

A. 13:  Garibaldi

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Q. 14:  Name the French cartoon skunk that is madly in love with a reluctant cat?

A. 14:  Pepe le Pew

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Q. 15:  What is an ice hockey puck made from?

A. 15:  Rubber

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Q. 16:  On the Voyager 1 spacecraft there is a golden record with greetings in different languages and a collection of various Earth sounds. There is also a 90 minute recording of music from many cultures. Which two composers appear the most on this record?

A. 16:  Bach and Beethoven

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Q. 17:  The name of which popular US band from the 1970s is an aboriginal expression used to describe an extremely cold evening?

A. 17:  Three Dog Night.

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Q. 18:  Which four of the following seven Grand Slam winners were leftys? 

            a) Rod Laver

            b) Jimmy Connors

            c) Bjorn Borg

            d) John McEnroe

            e) Martina Navratilova

            f) Boris Becker

            g) Pancho Gonzales

A. 18:  a) Rod Laver

            b) Jimmy Connors

            d) John McEnroe

            e) Martina Navratilova

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Q. 19:  What is the name for a Google search query consisting of exactly two words (actual words found in a dictionary) without quotation marks, that returns exactly one hit?

A. 19:  A ‘Googlewhack’. Published googlewhacks are short-lived, since when published to a web site, the new number of hits will become at least two, one to the original hit found, and one to the publishing site.

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Q. 20:  Which catchy hit song beginning with the words “Once upon a time there was a tavern” is an English version of a melancholic Russian gypsy song?

A. 20:  Those Were The Days

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“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Seems to be no end of silly names either for people or businesses.

Here are another dozen to make you smile, even if the owners don’t know what it is you are smiling at.

Enjoy.

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funny names 31

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funny names 30

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funny names 29

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funny names 27

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funny names 26

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funny names 25

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funny names 023

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funny names 022

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funny names 021

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funny names 020

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funny names 019

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“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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The clue is always in the title.

Yes, prepare to give you chuckle muscles a workout.

It’s pun day.

Another selection of those jokes you love to hate.

Enjoy   

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rofl

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I’ve been trying to get this computer to work for an hour now.

Wish I’d bought a laptop.

So much lighter to carry.

man-carrying-large-computer

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My friend clearly wears dentures but won’t admit it.

He’s lying through his teeth.

funny-false-teeth-cartoon

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Still thinking of taking that long term job in the PDRK?

Personally I’d choose a different Korea.

north-and-south-korea

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As my wife and three of her friends

squeezed into the car after WeightWatchers,

I muttered under my breath, “Fat cows.”

“What was that?” snapped my wife.

“You herd.”

mad_cow_cartoon

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I thought I was in for the long hall.

But it was just a really big mirror at the end of it.

long hall

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I was in the fitting room when a

beautiful woman walked in holding a lacy bra.

I think she was trying it on.

fitting room cartoon

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Scientists have discovered a new shade of green.

It’s sublime.

sublime_360

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Old MacDonald loves to play with action dolls….

G I G I Joe.

GI Joe

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I clicked on the ‘Home Alone’ link earlier.

It opened a page for an Italian mortgage company.

euro

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I entered my dog in the redneck dog show last week.

She won “Best Inbreed.”

redneck dogs

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Would anyone like to buy any cymbal shaped pillows?

$50 Per cushion.

cymbals

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Think the worst time of my life was when I worked as a cinema usher.

I was in a very dark place back then.

movie_usher

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It’s amazing how a piece of technology as simple

as a tablet can revolutionize your life.

Those viagra are amazing.

viagra_45305

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I’ve found the alcohol which has solved all my problems.

It was liqueur.

liqueur bottles

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I have a lot of hangups.

I blame telemarketers.

telemarketer_cartoon

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I’ve styled my hair so that it appears like I’ve got horns.

It’s my gnu look.

Baby Gnu

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NSA whistleblower Edward Snowden left Moscow Airport a while ago.

He’s no longer hiding in plane site.

CIA-NSA-Edward-Snowden_1

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Bauxite refining is a secret carefully guarded by the aluminati.

aluminium rolls

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I can’t see the new Nicholas Cage action movie doing very well.

He plays a wrongly convicted man, trapped among

a bunch of the world’s most dangerous criminals,

all stuck inside a Refrigeration Factory.

It’s called Air Con

nicolas cage con air cartoon

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Finally when I saw a woman had broken down at

the side of the road I didn’t stop to help her.

I’m not a psychiatrist.

cartoon psychiatrist by Ron Leishman

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“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Some blogs meander along trying to be very politically correct. But not here at fasab. Controversial or not, the philosophy here is to tell it as it is.

So to repeat the question in the title…. 

Should we get rid of homos?

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Of course, I’m talking about homographs and homophones – I don’t know what YOU were thinking of?

If you are a regular visitor to this blog you will know that quite often we have a look at amusing misprints or mistakes on signs, classified ads, newspaper headlines, or wherever else they can be found.

Nearly always the problem is peoples’ failure to grasp the intricacies of the English language.

If you are born and bred in an English speaking country then it is relatively easy to grasp the basics of the language, although there is a steady deterioration in some of these, like speleling for example. (That was a deliberate mistake for comic affect by the way.)

So what about the homos then?

For those who haven’t made up their mind yet, a homograph – (also known as a heteronym, but where would have been the fun in that title?) – is a word of the same written form as another but of different meaning and usually different origin.

Sometimes it is pronounced the same as the other word, in which case it is known as a homograph.

homograph definition

Sometimes they are pronounced differently, in which case they are called homophones.

homophone definition

An example of the former is the word “letter” which is pronounced the same whether the meaning is a message written to someone, or to describe a particular member of the alphabet such as ‘A’, ‘B’, ‘C’, etc.

An example of the latter could be the word “lead” which is pronounced differently if it means a metal (“the lead was very heavy”), or to be the front runner of a group of people (“he was in the lead”).

There are a lot more homos around than you might at first think. Here are just a few examples I saw recently. I hope you find them interesting and maybe even begin to realize what a nightmare learning the English language must be for those not immersed in it from a very young age.

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1) The bandage was “wound” around the “wound”.

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2) The farm was used to “produce” “produce”.

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3) The dump was so full that it had to “refuse” more “refuse”.

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4) We must “polish” the “Polish” furniture.

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5) He could “lead” if he would get the “lead” out.

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6) The soldier decided to “desert”  his “dessert” in the “desert”.

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7) Since there is no time like the “present”, he thought it was time to “present” the “present”.

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8) A “bass” was painted on the head of the “bass” drum.

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9) When shot at the “dove”  “dove” into the bushes.

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10) I did not “object” to the “object”.

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11) The insurance was “invalid” for the “invalid”.

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12) There was a “row” among the oarsmen about how to “row”.

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13) They were too “close” to the door to “close” it.

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14) The buck “does” funny things when the “does” are present.

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15) A seamstress and a “sewer” fell down into a “sewer” line.

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16) The farmer used a “sow” to help him “sow” the crop.

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17) The “wind” was too strong to “wind” the sail.

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18) Upon seeing the “tear” in the painting I shed a “tear”.

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19) I had to “subject” the “subject” to a series of tests.

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20) How can I “intimate” this to my most “intimate” friend?

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Let’s face it – English is a crazy language. 

For example, there are no “eggs” in “eggplant”, nor “ham” in “hamburger”.  

There is neither “pine” nor “apple” in “pineapple”.

“English” muffins weren’t invented in “England” nor “French” fries in “France”.

“Sweetmeats” are “sweet” but are candies and not “meats”, whereas “sweetbreads” are neither “sweet” nor “bread”, but in fact meat.

Boxing “rings” are “square” and a “guinea pig” is neither from “Guinea” nor is it a “pig”.

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And why is it that “writers” “write”, but “fingers” don’t “fing”, “grocers” don’t “groce” and “hammers” don’t “ham”?

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If the plural of “tooth” is “teeth”, why isn’t the plural of “booth”, “beeth”? Why one “index”, but two or more “indices”?  Or why do you have one “goose” and two “geese”, and one “moose” but never two “meese”?

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You can make “amends” but what do you do if you have just one thing to amend? Or if you have a bunch of “odds and ends” and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call what’s left?

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If teachers “taught”, why didn’t preachers “praught”?

And if a “vegetarian” eats vegetables, what does a “humanitarian” eat?

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In what other language would people “recite at a play” and “play at a recital”; have “noses” that “run” and “feet” that “smell”; or send a “shipment” by “car” and “cargo” by “ship”?

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How can a “slim chance” and a “fat chance” be the same, while a “wise man” and a “wise guy” are opposites?

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Or why can people like the Amish “raise” a barn, meaning to “erect” a building, whereas everywhere else when we “raise” a building to the ground we mean we “demolish” it?

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You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn “up” as it burns “down”; in which you “fill in” a form by “filling it out”; and in which an alarm goes “off” by going “on”.

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Even when you are standing still you can be part of the human “race” and you can look at the stars which are visible when they are “out”, unlike a light which is invisible when it is “out”.

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Finally, there is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that is “UP”.

It’s easy to understand “UP”, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we “wake UP”? At a meeting, why does a topic “come UP”? Why do we “speak UP”?

Or do what I am going to do now, which is to “shut UP”.

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Did You Know – More Facts For Fun.

Posted: September 24, 2013 in Factoids, Unusual
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Welcome to another selection of fasab’s facts for fun.

A more than random list of unusual facts that may come in handy some day. I wouldn’t count on it, but you never know. It has happened believe it or not!

So read on and enjoy.

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did you know4

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The only U.S. president to have been the head of a union

was Ronald Reagan,

a former president of the Screen Actors Guild.

Ronald Reagan at his desk

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Just proving that not everybody is all bad,

“Pretty Boy” Floyd, one of America’s most notorious bank robbers,

was known for destroying mortgage papers,

consequently freeing hundreds of people from property debt.

gangster-pretty-boy-floyd-tote-bag

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A man in China has kept himself alive with

a homemade dialysis machine for 13 years.

Home made dialysis machine

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Divorce is legal in every nation in the world

except in the Philippines and in Vatican City.

divorce_pic1

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In 1755 Benjamin Franklin organized the first

regular monthly mail packet service

between Falmouth, England, and New York,

and opened the first official post office in Canada

(in Halifax, Nova Scotia), to link Halifax with

the Atlantic colonies and the packet service to England.

Benjamin Franklin

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About half the geysers on Earth

are located in Yellowstone National Park.

Old_Faithful_13

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Your brain makes imaginary monsters when you stare in a mirror.

(Either that or you don’t look as good as you thought!)

cat and mirror

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While most of it lies in Africa,

a small part of Egypt is located in Asia, as well.

Egypt_map

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The White House has a variety of recreational facilities

available to its residents, including a tennis court, a jogging track,

swimming pool, movie theater, billiard room, and a bowling lane.

white-house

Click here to take an interactive tour

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The Australian $5 to $100 notes are made of plastic.

aussie-money

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A skunk’s smell can be detected by a human a mile away.

Skunk-in-Grass

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The poet Henry Wadsworth Longfellow’s wife died

when a dropped match ignited her enormous hoop skirt.

fanny-wadsworth

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Alabama was the first state to

recognize Christmas as an official holiday.

Alabama Christmas

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If your eyes are six feet above the surface of the ocean,

the horizon will be about three statute miles away.

hopes_on_the_horizon

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The longest freshwater shoreline in the world

is located in the state of Michigan.

Michigan shoreline

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Carbon monoxide is deadly.

It can kill a person in less than 15 minutes

carbon-monoxide-gas-safety

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In 1876, the first microphone was invented by Emile Berliner.

emile_berliner

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When Nadia Comaneci became the first gymnast

to score a perfect 10, the scoreboard wasn’t prepared.

Her score was reported as “1.00.”

Comaneci-1976

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The accent that Mike Myers used for the character Shrek

came from the accent that his mother would use

when she was telling him bedtime stories when he was a child.

Shrek_fierce

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Johnny Cash’s “A Boy Named Sue” was written by Shel Silverstein.

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“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Quiz Day again and another twenty random questions to start the week.

As usual the answers can be found waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay down below  –  but NO cheating please!

Go on, have a go.

And good luck!

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quiz 10

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Q.  1:  Of which American tribe was Sitting Bull a member?

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Q.  2:  Valentina Tereshkova was the first what?

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Q.  3:  What was the name of Sonny Crockett’s pet alligator in the cult TV series Miami Vice?

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Q.  4:  When Clement Attlee became Prime Minister of Britain in 1945, who was the President of the United States?

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Q.  5:  In The Stephen King novel and movie Christine, what was Christine?

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Q.  6:  What country was most heavily-bombed in Vietnam war?

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Q.  7:  What was the first US television show filmed before an audience and who was it’s star?

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Q.  8:  This answer is the name of a Roman philosopher and the name of an eastern North American Indian tribe. One word.

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Q.  9:  Whose name, apart from the astronauts’, appears on the Apollo 11 plaque on the Moon?

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Q. 10:  The Andromeda Strain was a 1971 Hollywood movie and a 2008 mini-series. Which famous writer wrote the novel?

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Q. 11:  Name the two actresses Frank Sinatra married.

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Q. 12:  Who was the United States President from 1953 to 1961?

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Q. 13:  Which fabric derived its name from a middle eastern capital city very much in the news lately? Six letters

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Q. 14:  In which American town or city was the TV series ‘The Golden Girls’ set?

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Q. 15:  John Alden will go down in history as the first what?

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Q. 16:  Which Hollywood actress who has been married nine times was probably born in 1917?

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Q. 17:  The fictional detective Auguste C Dupin was created by which 19th century American writer?

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Q. 18:  Who commanded the British forces that captured Quebec from the French in 1759?

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Q. 19:  Marion Crane is the tragic figure in which cult horror movie?

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Q. 20:  In the movie ‘Airplane’, Leslie Nielson’s line “don’t call me Shirley” was a response to which question?

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ANSWERS

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Q.  1:  Of which American tribe was Sitting Bull a member?

A.  1:  Sioux.

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Q.  2:  Valentina Tereshkova was the first what?

A.  2:  Woman in space.

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Q.  3:  What was the name of Sonny Crockett’s pet alligator in the cult TV series Miami Vice?

A.  3:  Elvis.

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Q.  4:  When Clement Attlee became Prime Minister of Britain in 1945, who was the President of the United States?

A.  4:  Harry S Truman

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Q.  5:  In The Stephen King novel and movie Christine, what was Christine?

A.  5:  A car.

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Q.  6:  What country was most heavily-bombed in Vietnam war?

A.  6:  Cambodia.

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Q.  7:  What was the first US television show filmed before an audience and who was it’s star?

A.  7:  I Love Lucy starring Lucille Ball.

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Q.  8:  This answer is the name of a Roman philosopher and the name of an eastern North American Indian tribe. One word.

A.  8:  Seneca.

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Q.  9:  Whose name, apart from the astronauts’, appears on the Apollo 11 plaque on the Moon?

A.  9:  Richard Nixon.

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Q. 10:  The Andromeda Strain was a 1971 Hollywood movie and a 2008 mini-series. Which famous writer wrote the novel?

A. 10:  Michael Crichton.

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Q. 11:  Name the two actresses Frank Sinatra married.

A. 11:  Ava Gardner and Mia Farrow.

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Q. 12:  Who was the United States President from 1953 to 1961?

A. 12:  Dwight D Eisenhower.

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Q. 13:  Which fabric derived its name from a middle eastern capital city very much in the news lately? Six letters

A. 13:  Damask (from Damascus).

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Q. 14:  In which American town or city was the TV series ‘The Golden Girls’ set?

A. 14:  Miami.

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Q. 15:  John Alden will go down in history as the first what?

A. 15:  The first of the Pilgrim Fathers.

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Q. 16:  Which Hollywood actress who has been married nine times was probably born in 1917?

A. 16:   Zsa Zsa Gabor.   

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Q. 17:  The fictional detective Auguste C Dupin was created by which 19th century American writer?

A. 17:  Edgar Allan Poe.

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Q. 18:  Who commanded the British forces that captured Quebec from the French in 1759?

A. 18:  General Wolfe.

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Q. 19:  Marion Crane is the tragic figure in which cult horror movie?

A. 19:  Psycho.

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Q. 20:  In the movie ‘Airplane’, Leslie Nielson’s line “don’t call me Shirley” was a response to which question?

A. 20:  “Surely you can’t be serious?”

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“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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For a few weeks I have been running a short series of silly but amusing place names.

Today, on the same theme but slightly different, I have another selection of people and companies with just as silly names as the places we looked at.

Again the big question is why don’t they change them? I certainly would.

In the meantime I just laugh at them.

I hope you do too.

Enjoy!

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