Archive for July, 2013

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Another midweek treat.

The latest batch of newspaper headline nightmares.

Hope you find something in this example of stupidity to make you smile.

Enjoy

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np_deer

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np_doggystyle

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np_dogsex

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np_drdoom

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np_drowning

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np_drunkcaptain

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np_drunkdate

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np_earthquake

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np_eatery

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np_feetbrake

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np_ferrarisex

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np_findlater

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np_flyingdildo

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np_frequentsex

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“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Another delve into the fasab fact file today.

If you are interested in facts, information or trivia there will hopefully be something in here for you.

Enjoy.

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did you know5 

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The first Ford cars had Dodge engines.

1903 Ford Model A

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The oldest known goldfish lived to 43 years of age.

Its name was Tish.

oldest goldfish

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There are only thirteen blimps in the world.

Nine of them are in the United States.

blimp_Goodyear

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In 1967, the IMAX film system was invented by Canadians

Graeme Ferguson, Roman Kroitor, Robert Kerr, and William C. Shaw

and premiered at Expo 67.

IMAX-home-theater

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Texas is also the only state that is allowed to fly its state flag

at the same height as the U.S. flag.

Texas Flag

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The typical lead pencil can draw a line

that is thirty five miles long

Pencils_hb

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Pollsters say that 40 percent of dog and cat owners

carry pictures of the pets in their wallets.

Pet-Care-Dog

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A meteor has only destroyed one satellite,

which was the European Space Agency’s Olympus in 1993.

olympus

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The average American drinks about 600 sodas a year.

sodas

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When Queen Elizabeth I of England died

she owned over 3,000 gowns

elizabethan gown

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The smallest man ever was Gul Mohammed (1957-1997) of India,

who measured 1 feet, 10 inches

gul-mohammed

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Before the fur trade had started in Canada,

it was estimated that there were over 6 million beavers

beaver

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In 1962, the first Wal-Mart opened up in Rogers, Arkansas

walmarts-first-ad

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The Saguaro Cactus, found in South-western United States

does not grow branches until it is 75 years old.

Saguaro Cactus

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Japan has approximately 200 volcanoes

and is home to 10% of the active volcanoes in the world

volcano-mt-asama-tokyo

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The Dutch people are known to be

the tallest people in Europe

holland tall people

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The word Nike comes from Greek Mythology.

Nike is the goddess of victory and was often depicted

as a small winged figure carried by the goddess Athene.

Nike

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The long fibers that are found in the banana plant

can make paper approximately 3000 times stronger than regular paper.

banana-paper-notebook

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The city of Seoul has been the capital city of Korea

for more than 600 years

Seoul-South-Korea

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In Ivrea, Italy, thousands of citizens celebrate the beginning of Lent

by throwing oranges at one another.

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“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Welcome to another quiz day on the fasab blog.

As usual a random selection of questions, some quite difficult, but some that you should find easy enough.

When you are done check the answers which are waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay down below – but NO cheating!

Enjoy.

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Quiz 07

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Q.  1:  What is the name of the art form that translated means ‘beauty writing’?

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Q.  2:  The Blue Fairy is a kindly figure in which Disney classic? (Now you knows this!)

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Q.  3:  What is the name of the Spanish soup served cold?

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Q.  4:  What is the longest poisonous snake in the world?

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Q.  5:  Eric Weisz is still believed by some to have made the first successful powered flight in Australia on March 18, 1910. Weisz was better known around the world under which stage name?

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Q.  6:  Which region in the Pacific ocean is also the name of a character in the Dr. Doolittle stories?

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Q.  7:  What is the name of the world’s oldest licensed whiskey distillery and in which country is it located? (a point for each answer)

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Q.  8:  Contestants from which three countries have won the most Miss Universe titles? 

(Take some bonus points if you know how many titles they have won.)

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Q.  9:  Which word, used in the world of espionage, stems from John Le Carre’s 1974 novel ‘Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy’?

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Q. 10:  Kristal’ and ‘Krug’ are examples of which wine?

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Q. 11:  In space an ‘Event Horizon’ surrounds what kind of region?

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Q. 12:  Who was the first Hollywood actress to appear on a postage stamp?

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Q. 13:  When the definition of a desert is ‘an area with an average annual precipitation of less than 250 millimetres per year’; on which continent is the largest desert in the world?

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Q. 14:  Varig’ is the national airline in which country?

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Q. 15:  Name the American artist who uses Campbell’s Soup cans in his pop art?

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Q. 16:  What did American POW’s call the Hoa Lo prison camp in North Vietnam?

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Q. 17:  Widely used to orient buildings and even furniture, the term ‘Feng shui’, what is the English translation of this term? (Two words.)

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Q. 18:  Which breed of horse is also the name for a kind of bean?

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Q. 19:  Who was the only heavyweight champion to finish his boxing career with a perfect record? (49 wins-0 defeats).

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Q. 20:  Which film producer with a vegetable as a last name, was, until his death, involved in most of the James Bond films?

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ANSWERS

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Q.  1:  What is the name of the art form that translated means ‘beauty writing’?

A.  1:  Calligraphy.

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Q.  2:  The ‘Blue Fairy’ is a kindly figure in which Disney classic? (Now you knows this!)

A.  2:  Pinocchio.(Did you get the clue? ‘Knows’ = ‘nose’, whoops, not pun day, sorry!)

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Q.  3:  What is the name of the Spanish soup served cold?

A.  3:  Gazpacho.

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Q.  4:  What is the longest poisonous snake in the world?

A.  4:  The King Cobra.

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Q.  5:  Eric Weisz is still believed by some to have made the first successful powered flight in Australia on March 18, 1910. Weisz was better known around the world under which stage name?

A.  5:  Harry Houdini.

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Q.  6:  Which region in the Pacific ocean is also the name of a character in the Dr. Doolittle stories?

A.  6:  Polynesia. In the series of books, Polynesia is Doctor Dolittle’s parrot.

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Q.  7:  What is the name of the world’s oldest licensed whiskey distillery and in which country is it located? (a point for each answer)

A.  7:  Old Bushmills Distillery, located at Bushmills, County Antrim, Northern Ireland.

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Q.  8:  Contestants from which three countries have won the most Miss Universe titles? 

(Take some bonus points if you know how many titles they have won.)

A.  8:  USA (8: 1954, 1956, 1960, 1967, 1980, 1995, 1997, 2012),

Venezuela (6: 1979, 1981, 1986, 1996, 2008, 2009), and

Puerto Rico (5: 1970, 1985, 1993, 2001, 2006).

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Q.  9:  Which word, used in the world of espionage, stems from John Le Carre’s 1974 novel ‘Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy’?

A.  9:  Mole.

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Q. 10:  Kristal’ and ‘Krug’ are examples of which wine?

A. 10:  Champagne.

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Q. 11:  In space an ‘Event Horizon’ surrounds what kind of region?

A. 11:  A Black hole.

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Q. 12:  Who was the first Hollywood actress to appear on a postage stamp?

A. 12:  Grace Kelly.

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Q. 13:  When the definition of a desert is ‘an area with an average annual precipitation of less than 250 millimetres per year’; on which continent is the largest desert in the world?

A. 13:  The Antarctic. (Most people would say ‘The Sahara’ which is the largest ‘hot’ desert area in the world.)

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Q. 14:  Varig’ is the national airline in which country?

A. 14:  Brazil.

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Q. 15:  Name the American artist who uses Campbell’s Soup cans in his pop art?

A. 15:  Andy Warhol.

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Q. 16:  What did American POW’s call the Hoa Lo prison camp in North Vietnam?

A. 16:  The Hanoi Hilton.

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Q. 17:  Widely used to orient buildings and even furniture, the term ‘Feng shui’, what is the English translation of this term? (Two words.)

A. 17:  Feng shui translated into English means ‘Wind-Water’.

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Q. 18:  Which breed of horse is also the name for a kind of bean?

A. 18:  Pinto.

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Q. 19:  Who was the only heavyweight champion to finish his boxing career with a perfect record? (49 wins-0 defeats).

A. 19:  Rocky Marciano.

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Q. 20:  Which film producer with a vegetable as a last name, was, until his death, involved in most of the James Bond films?

A. 20:  Albert R (Cubby) Broccoli.

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So how did you do?

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“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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A few weeks ago we had a short series of what were called ‘perfectly timed photos’ because in most cases the shutter was clicked at just the right moment to achieve the perfect result.

This lot are similar in so far as the end result is effective and hopefully amusing, although they are  a bit more contrived or ‘set up’ to achieve the required result.

Have a look and see what you think.

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ff03

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ff05

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ff06

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ff07

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ff08

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ff09

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ff10

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ff11

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ff12

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ff13

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ff14

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ff15

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ff16

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“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Yes, as always the clue is in the title.

It’s pun day!

Enjoy – you know you do.

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I’ve just got a make-shift job

at the computer keyboard factory.

shift key

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A Limbo dancer married a Locksmith yesterday…

…the wedding was low key.

Limbo

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As a paranoid schizophrenic, I take

the elevator alone to my top floor apartment…

I can’t handle the stares.

paranoid schizophrenic

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I do all my addition in my head.

It’s the thought that counts.

maths

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My teacher said to our class the

other day that she hates suck-ups.

I couldn’t agree more. 

sucking-up-cartoon

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I was just about to nail some shelves to the wall.

Then I thought, screw it.

wall-shelves

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Corrugated roofs.

are really groovy.

corrugated-roof-of-a-building

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So they finally found Osama a couple of years ago,

talk Abbotabad place to hide!

hideout-house-of-slain-al-qaeda-leader-osama-bin-laden-in-abbottabad

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What do cheap hotels and

tight designer jeans have in common?

No ballroom.

tight jeans

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When the captain of the ill fated Costa Concordia

was asked if he knew where he was going he replied

“off course”

Costa Concordia

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Woke up this morning after a heavy night

of drinking to find out that I’d gone bald.

Which is strange because normally

I go for brunettes. 

bald

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A tennis ball walks into a bar.

The barman says,

“Have you been served?”

tenis ball

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My horse had a win at the races today.

I have no idea how he filled in the betting slip.

horse cartoon

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I saw two people hailing a taxi today and thought:

“What strange religion do they belong to?”

hailing taxi

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Princess Diana died on the 31 August 1997

having been staying at the Ritz, Paris.

Margaret Thatcher died April 8, 2013

having been staying at the Ritz, London.

I’ve been saying it’s a conspiracy for years

but everyone else thinks it’s just crackers.

nabisco-ritz-crackers

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My maths teacher asked me,

“Do you understand inequalities?”

I replied, “More or less.”

cartoon inequalities

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Without a doubt, my favorite

Robin Williams movie is Mrs Fire. 

Mrs Doubtfire

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I’ve got a friend who’s a female private investigator.

Although he prefers to be called a gynecologist.

gynae

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There’s two things I don’t like about a politician,

his face.

two-faced-2

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Saw a woman today who opened the door in her nightie.

I thought, “That’s a funny place for a door.” 

door_in_her_nightie_____by_boblea

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“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Welcome to the fasab blog.

It’s newspaper headline nightmares day. Day nine of this series to be exact.

And they don’t get any better – thank goodness.

Hope you enjoy this latest batch.

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np_clinton

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np_cocks

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np_cocksbeavers

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np_colon2

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np_composite

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np_condomtruck

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H_3428

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np_cox

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np_crime-scene

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np_crimeduo

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np_cyclisttree

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np_dating

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np_deafpeople

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np_deathkiller

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“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Here we go with another random selection of facts from the files.

There’s bound to be something new in this lot, so read on and, of course….

Enjoy!

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did you know3

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McDonald’s daily customer traffic is larger

than the population of Great Britain

Mcdonalds_logo

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The placement of a donkey’s eyes in its head

enables it to see all four feet at all times!

Donkey_from_Shrek

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President Theodore Roosevelt (1901-1909)

was not only the first President to ride in an automobile,

but also the first President to travel outside the country

when he visited Panama.

President_Theodore_Roosevelt

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Camel’s have three eyelids.

Camel jordanian desert

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A man wore 70 items of clothing in a Chinese airport

to avoid the bagging charge.

friends_302_joey_chandlers_clothes

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Above the Supreme Court is a basketball court

known as the Highest Court in the Land.

Clarence Thomas tore his Achilles in a 1993 game.

Supreme-Court-Basketball-logo_full

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Your brain consumes 25 watts of power while you’re awake.

This amount of energy is enough to illuminate a lightbulb.

brain

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Hedenophobes have a fear of pleasure.

They won’t be reading this blog then!

Hedenophobes

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Prostitution is not and has never been illegal in Canada.

Legalizing_Prostitution

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Ramses brand condom is named after

the great pharaoh Ramses II

who fathered over 160 children.

pharaoh Ramses II

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The giant squid has the largest eyes in the world.

giant squid eye

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The first license plate on a car in the United States

was issued in Denver, Colorado in 1908.

denver_colorado_red_license

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The “Dull Men’s Hall of Fame” is located in Carroll, Wisconsin

– and, no, I am not on their roll of honor!

blah_cologne_for_dull_men_461435

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Studies have shown that swearing when in pain

can release pain-killing endorphins.

swearing when in pain

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Common Cobra venom is not on the list of top 10 venoms

yet it is still 40 times more toxic than cyanide.

cobra

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“Lassie” was played by a group of male dogs;

the main one was named Pal.

Lassie

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The record for the most weddings is held by King Mogul of Siam,

who had 9000 weddings and 9000 wives

– and 9000 mother-in-laws *@#!.

King_Mongkut_of_Siam

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In 1984, a Canadian farmer began

renting advertising space on his cows.

cows advertising

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In ancient Greece “idiot” meant a private citizen or layman;

in modern America it means a politician!

Cartoon-Idiot-Problem-990

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You use 14 muscles to smile and 43 to frown.

Keep Smiling!

 

smiling v frowning

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