“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Get it?

Pretzels, knot bread?

Never mind. Time to unravel a few more word plays.

It’s Pun Day.

Enjoy or endure!

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rofl

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Here’s a good one for you,

Good one.

good one

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I went to the museum to feed the animals

But they were all stuffed

stuffed animals in museum

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Those disposable cameras

are a complete con.

Now I have absolutely no record

of a perfectly lovely holiday.

 

disposable cameras.

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My girlfriend said she was going to

leave me because of my obsession with

pointing out inanimate objects…

So I showed her the door.

man pointing

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My son has been asked

to sign for his local team.

To be honest,

I never knew they were deaf.

boy with foorball

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Cadbury’s have brought out

a new box of chocolates

for inconsiderate people.

They’re self centered.

Cadbury's

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I run a business selling tiny models

of Buddha and Mohammed.

Sales aren’t the best but

I’m making small prophets.

tiny model of buddha

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Everyone’s blaming me for the

animal noises on the video conference at work.

Seems I’ve been made into a Skypegoat.

skype_logo

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The English language

is the best in the world.

It just has a certain…

je ne sais quoi.

je ne sais quoi

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My family abandoned me,

my ex-girlfriend took everything I own,

and my children hate me

all because of my constant optimism.

Still, it could be worse.

optimism

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My wife asked me for a

new wardrobe last Christmas,

so I got her one.

Turns out she just wanted clothes

new wardrobe

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I’m looking forward

to my dirty weekend.

Wash the car,

clean the garden,

take rubbish out……

dirty weekend

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I got water trapped in my ears

after having a shower this morning.

It was a near deaf experience.

water trapped in my ears

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If you like women

as well as the next man

you’re probably bi-sexual.

Bisexual!

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What’s the temperature in Motown ?

Three degrees, four tops…

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“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Alayne Fleischmann

Alayne Fleischmann was someone who I though did not exist.

Yes, it’s a slightly odd name, but that’s not what I mean.

She’s a real person, she does exist, although many on Wall Street and in the government wish she did not.

You see Alayne Fleischmann is a an honest lawyer.

Not only an honest lawyer, but an honest securities lawyer.

And not only an honest securities lawyer, but an honest securities lawyer who worked for a bank.

I know, it’s hard to believe isn’t it?

But it’s true.

Eight years ago Ms Fleischmann was employed by J P Morgan Chase Bank as a deal manager, a position that allowed her to see the crooked activity, fraud in other words, that was going on at the bank, particularly in regard to mortgage securities.

jp-morgan-chase-bank-logo1

She has been effectively ‘gagged’ for many years by confidentiality agreements, hordes of lawyers acting for the banks, and by government organizations that were supposedly investigating the fraud but which were in fact just trying to get it pushed under the carpet as soon and as quietly as possible.

Now Alayne Fleischmann is blowing the whistle, not just on the fraudulent activity of the banks but on the massive cover-up that followed it.

In doing so she is just confirming what anyone who has been paying attention already knew to be true, namely that the government has allowed the banks to buy their way out of criminal charges and jail time by paying multi-billion and multi-million dollar fines, fines that may sound large to you and I but which to them are a small fraction of the money they stole.

Financial Crisis Inquiry Commission report

The Department of Justice, Financial Crisis Inquiry Commission, SEC, and more have been pretending to investigate and bring the culprits to book. In effect they have done very little.

So I think a round of applause is in order for Ms Fleischmann. She won’t make much of a dent in the corrupt system, the corruption is so ingrained that I doubt if anyone could do that. But at least she came through with her honesty intact and that is a hell of a lot more than can be said of the banksters or the politicians and political appointees who were supposed to be going to make things right.

 

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“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Yes, everyone it’s Quiz Day again at the fasab blog.

You will find out about ‘Bruce’ when you do the quiz, which I hope you will.

And remember, as always, if you get stuck, you can find the answers waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay down below, but please NO cheating!

Enjoy and good luck.

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quiz01

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Q.  1:  In radio what does ‘FM’ stand for?

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Q.  2:  What breed of dog is the tallest in the world?

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Q.  3:  And what is the smallest breed of dog?

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Q.  4:  The marine mammal, the ‘dugong’, is the supposed original of what?

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Q.  5:  Chance to build up a good score here with a possible 7 points available. In the business world what do these well known acronyms stand for?  (A point for each correct answer and a bonus point if you get all 6 correct.)

           a) IBM          b) HP          c) CNN          d) DHL          e) HTC          f) CVS

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Q.  6:  What common chemical compound is represented by the formula ‘nh3′?

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Q.  7:  What is a ‘quadruped’?

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Q.  8:  What Italian physicist, mathematician, engineer, and philosopher who played a major role in the scientific revolution during the Renaissance, has been called the “father of modern observational astronomy”?

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Q.  9:  Still on the subject of space, what recently landed on an asteroid after a ten year journey, bounced twice, ended up in the wrong place and then shut down after its batteries were depleted?

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Q. 10:  What is the name of the little naked bow-carrying statue that historically represents ‘intimate love’, and ‘desire’? (You can also earn a bonus point if you can name his ‘brother’.)

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Q. 11:  Of what is Bamboo the tallest variety in the world?

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Q. 12:  Which bacteria is responsible for typhoid and food poisoning?

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Q. 13:  What is the name given to someone who studies plants?

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Q. 14:  What is the mixture of potassium nitrate, charcoal and sulphur better known as?

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Q. 15:  What is ‘-459.7ºf’ also know as?

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Q. 16:  What common medical procedure and what type of drink are included in the standard phonetic alphabet?

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Q. 17:  How many cubic inches are there in a cubic foot?

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Q. 18:  How many years is it since the start of the ‘Great War’?

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Q. 19:  The invention of what in 1867, made Alfred Nobel famous?

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Q. 20:  His nickname was ‘Bruce’ and he was the star of what became the highest-grossing film in history at the time of its release in 1975, and the most successful motion picture of all time until Star Wars. What was the name of the movie?

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ANSWERS

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Q.  1:  In radio what does ‘FM’ stand for?

A.  1:  Frequency Modulation.

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Q.  2:  What breed of dog is the tallest in the world?

A.  2:  No, not the Great Dane, the correct answer is Irish Wolfhound.

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Q.  3:  And what is the smallest breed of dog?

A.  3:  The Chihuahua. (In fact I think it is so small it doesn’t merit the extra ‘hua’.)

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Q.  4:  The marine mammal, the ‘dugong’, is the supposed original of what?

A.  4:  The Mermaid, the name ‘dugong’ means ‘lady of the sea’.

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Q.  5:  Chance to build up a good score here with a possible 7 points available. In the business world what do these well known acronyms stand for?  (A point for each correct answer and a bonus point if you get all 6 correct.)

           a) IBM          b) HP          c) CNN          d) DHL          e) HTC          f) CVS

A.  5:  a) IBM International Business Machines   b ) HP Hewlett Packard.

           c) CNN Cable Network News                            d) DHL Daisey Hillblom Lynn

           e) HTC High Tech Computer                             f) CVS Consumer Value Stores

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Q.  6:  What common chemical compound is represented by the formula ‘nh3′?

A.  6:  Ammonia.

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Q.  7:  What is a ‘quadruped’?

A.  7:  Any four footed animal.

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Q.  8:  What Italian physicist, mathematician, engineer, and philosopher who played a major role in the scientific revolution during the Renaissance, has been called the “father of modern observational astronomy”?

A.  8:  His name is Galileo, or more properly Galileo Galilei.

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Q.  9:  Still on the subject of space, what recently landed on an asteroid after a ten year journey, bounced twice, ended up in the wrong place and then shut down after its batteries were depleted?

A.  9:  The European Space Agency (ESA) Rosetta Mission Philae comet lander. (You earn a point if you said either ‘Rosetta’ or ‘Philae’ in your answer.)

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Q. 10:  What is the name of the little naked bow-carrying statue that historically represents ‘intimate love’, and ‘desire’? (You can also earn a bonus point if you can name his ‘brother’.)

A. 10:  His name is ‘Eros’ and his brother’s name is ‘Anteros’ who supposedly represents reflective or returned mature love.

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Q. 11:  Of what is Bamboo the tallest variety in the world?

A. 11:  Grass.

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Q. 12:  Which bacteria is responsible for typhoid and food poisoning?

A. 12:  Salmonella.

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Q. 13:  What is the name given to someone who studies plants?

A. 13:  A Botanist.

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Q. 14:  What is the mixture of potassium nitrate, charcoal and sulphur better known as?

A. 14:  Gunpowder.

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Q. 15:  What is ‘-459.7ºf’ also know as?

A. 15:  Absolute Zero. (So now if anyone asks you what the government has achieved you can answer ‘-459.7ºf’.)

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Q. 16:  What common medical procedure and what type of drink are included in the standard phonetic alphabet?

A. 16:  X-ray  =  X  and Whiskey = W.

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Q. 17:  How many cubic inches are there in a cubic foot?

A. 17:  1728.  (12 x 12 x 12)

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Q. 18:  How many years is it since the start of the ‘Great War’?

A. 18:  100 years this year. The Great War is also now known as World War I.

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Q. 19:  The invention of what in 1867, made Alfred Nobel famous?

A. 19:  Dynamite.

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Q. 20:  His nickname was ‘Bruce’ and he was the star of what became became the highest-grossing film in history at the time of its release in 1975, and the most successful motion picture of all time until Star Wars. What was the name of the movie?

A. 20:  The movie was ‘Jaws’, and ‘Bruce’ was the nickname give to the ‘shark’ they used in it.

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“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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But of course sometimes life isn’t fair.

Sometimes it’s Pun Day.

Enjoy or endure!

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rofl

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Tink my postmn is a thif

My leters keep gong misin

Postman Donald

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I asked a French bloke

if he played video games.

He said Wii.

Postman Donald

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Chickens don’t have friends.

They only have pen pals.

chickens in pen

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I was sent on an anger management course.

Apparently it’s all the rage.

anger_management_training

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Chewbacca forgets to delete his history before

letting his girlfriend use his computer

….wookie error

Chewbacca

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My brother takes part in a weather

predicting contest every month.

He’s the raining champion.

raining

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I used to know a depressed cross eyed girl…

She never looked forward to anything.

cross eyed girl

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There was a knock at the front door.

My wife answered it and said to me

there’s a man at the door with a bald head’‘.

I said ‘‘tell him to get lost, I’ve already got one’

man at the door with a bald head

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I’m directing a cowboy movie called ‘The Sun’.

It’s set in the west.

sunset monument valley

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My wife just spent $100 getting a bikini wax.

What a flipping rip off.

cartoon bikini wax

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Is anyone here called Allen?

I think I found your keys

allen-keys

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I’m an alcoholic and have frittered the best 

years of my life away looking at the world

through the bottom of a glass.

All I ask for is another shot.

another shot

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There’s a certain stigma attached

to reproduction organs,

especially in flowers.

crocus_stigma

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Three Chinese brothers, Bu, Chu, and Fu,

wanted to illegally live in America.

The brothers decide to change

their names to seem more American.

Bu changed his name to Buck.

Chu changed his name to Chuck.

And Fu got sent back to China.

three Chinese brothers

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I went to a Motown reunion last night and

promised myself I wouldn’t suck up to any of the artists…

But The Temptations were there.

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Chain Stores, Axes And Earthquakes Are Just Some Of Today’s Facts.

Posted: November 11, 2014 in Factoids, Unusual
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Yes, chain stores, axes and earthquakes are just some of today’s random selection of fabulous facts here at the fasab blog.

Hope find a few things new and interesting.

Enjoy.

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did you know5

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NASA’s New Horizons mission will

be the first probe to study Pluto.

It was launched on January 2006,

and will be near Pluto on July 2015.

New Horizons mission

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The world’s largest Axe is located

in Nackawic, New Brunswick, Canada.

It stands 15 metres (49 ft) tall,

weighs over 55 tons and the

axe-head is 7 metres (23 ft) wide and

has a time capsule embedded within it.

It sits on a concrete stump 10 metres (33 ft) in diameter.

The axe was commissioned, designed and

built in 1991 by a company in Woodstock and it

symbolizes the importance of the forest industry in the region.

world's largest Axe Nackawic, New Brunswick, Canada

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There is a small town in Estonia (actual name ‘Tartu’)

that has been nicknamed of ‘Souptown’ because most

of its streets are named after various vegetables,

such as Kartuli (Potato), Herne (Pea), Oa (Bean),

Marja (Berry) and Meloni (Melon).

Souptown Estonia

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The town of ‘Superior’ in Wisconsin in the USA

is also known as ‘Soup Town’

but this is simply because the name was shortened

to ‘Soup’ and then ‘Town’ added later.

Superior Wisconsin

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The first recorded chain store was British-owned W H Smith,

founded in London in 1792 by Henry Walton Smith and his wife.

The store sells books, stationery, magazines, newspapers,

and entertainment products.

W H Smiths

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In the U.S., chain stores began with the founding of

The Great Atlantic & Pacific Tea Company (A&P) in 1859.

By the early 1920s, the U.S. boasted three national chains:

A&P, Woolworth’s, and United Cigar Stores.

The Great Atlantic & Pacific Tea Company

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Ants are known to be able to lift and carry

about 50 times their own bodyweight,

but a recent scientific research study by

Ohio State University suggests it can be up

to an incredible 5000 times their bodyweight.

cartoon ant carrying heavy load

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It was during the stupid ‘Prohibition’ period

in the Unites States (1920-1933),

when there was a nationwide Constitutional ban

on the sale, production, importation, and

transportation of alcoholic beverages,

that  ‘cocktails’ gained popularity.

They were offered to mask the flavor of poorly made

alcohol and popular versions included

‘Mary Pickford’, ‘French 75’, ‘Barbary Coast’,

‘Bee’s Knees’, and the ‘Sidecar’.

cocktails

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And, by the way,

it is still illegal in Ohio to get a fish drunk.

drunk-fish

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Barack Obama is the USA’s 44th President,

but there actually have only been 43 presidents:

Grover Cleveland was elected for two non-consecutive terms

and is counted twice, as the 22nd and 24th President.

President Grover Cleveland 22nd and 24th POTUS

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Although the Great Wall of China has

existed for more than two thousand years,

most of the rest of the world didn’t know

about it until after the first European,

a Portuguese explorer named Bento de Gois,

discovered it in 1605.

Great Wall of China

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Not quite as old as the Great Wall of China,

but nonetheless impressive, was Brazilian woman

Maria do Carmo Jeronimo who for a while

was the oldest living person on earth.

She was the last Brazilian slave,

and one of very few people in history who

managed to live during three different centuries;

she was born in Brazil in 1871 and

she died on June 14, 2000,

at the incredible age of 129 years and 102 days.

Unfortunately lack of a birth certificate,

which were not often issued in those days especially for slaves,

prevented her official recognition as the world’s oldest woman.

Maria do Carmo Jeronimo

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If you ever wondered what it would be like

trying to eat your dinner during an earthquake

then you should book a table at

Disaster Café, in Lloret de Mar, Spain.

At the “disastrous” dinners customers experience

an artificial 7.8 magnitude earthquake

so don’t wear your best gear as there are likely

to be spilled food and drinks during the meal.

Disaster-Cafe

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When James Wan agreed to direct the horror movie ‘Saw’

he also agreed not to receive an “up front” salary

but instead opted for a generous percentage

of the movie’s box office earnings.

‘Saw’ made over $100 million globally and it is

considered one of the most profitable horror movies of all time.

Wan’s risk also enabled him to become one of the youngest

and highest-earning directors in movie history.

James_Wan

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The world’s shortest commercial flight takes place

between the two Orkney Islands, Westray and

Papa Westray, north of Scotland.

Operated by Loganair,

the flight covers a distance of only 1.7 miles (2.7 km)

and if the weather conditions are favorable,

it can be completed in just 47 seconds.

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“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Yes folks, another Monday and another Quiz Day.

I hope you enjoy trying this challenging selection of questions.

And as usual if you get stuck, you can find the answers waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay down below, but please NO cheating!

Enjoy and good luck.

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quiz confused1

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Q.  1:  What demands an answer, but asks no questions?

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Q.  2:  What type of creature is a ‘Bonito’?

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Q.  3:  What part of the body has the greatest capacity to cool itself?

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Q.  4:  In what country was ‘Canadian Club’ whiskey first distilled?

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Q.  5:  What name is given to a person that stuffs animals for display?

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Q.  6:  What is unusual about the ‘crab eating seal’?

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Q.  7:  For what process do plants need sunlight, CO2 and water?

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Q.  8:  What is the name for an animal that feeds on (a) plants and (b) meat? (You get a point for each correct answer.)

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Q.  9:  What is hydrophobia more commonly known as (clue: it’s not the fear of water)?

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Q. 10:  What is the smallest bird in the world?

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Q. 11:  What name is given to calcite deposits (a) suspended from cave roofs and (b) the formations that rise from the floor of a cave due to the accumulation of material deposited from ceiling drippings? (You get a point for each correct answer.)

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Q. 12:  In physics, what is defined as something that causes a change in the acceleration of an object?

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Q. 13:  Which element is used in the manufacture of computer microprocessors?

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Q. 14:  What is mixed with steel to make it stainless?

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Q. 15:  What is the collective name for a group of finches?

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Q. 16:  What is the angle between the hands of a clock at 1 o’clock?

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Q. 17:  How many men’s names are there in the standard phonetic alphabet and what are they? (Score one point for the correct total and a point for each name you answer correctly.)

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Q. 18:  With which branch of medicine is Mesmer associated?

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Q. 19:  Guglielmo Marconi pioneered the development of what?

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Q. 20:  What type of animal is a ‘silverback’?

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ANSWERS

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Q.  1:  What demands an answer, but asks no questions?

A.  1:  A telephone.

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Q.  2:  What type of creature is a ‘Bonito’?

A.  2:  A fish (between mackerel and tuna)

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Q.  3:  What part of the body has the greatest capacity to cool itself?

A.  3:  The hands.

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Q.  4:  In what country was ‘Canadian Club’ whiskey first distilled?

A.  4:  The USA (Detroit, in 1858 by American Hiram Walker using the brand Walker’s Club Whiskey – he subsequently moved the business to Ontario where it was renamed in 1889.)

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Q.  5:  What name is given to a person that stuffs animals for display?

A.  5:  A Taxidermist.

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Q.  6:  What is unusual about the ‘crab eating seal’?

A.  6:  It doesn’t eat crabs.

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Q.  7:  For what process do plants need sunlight, CO2 and water?

A.  7:  Photosynthesis.

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Q.  8:  What is the name for an animal that feeds on (a) plants and (b) meat? (You get a point for each correct answer.)

A.  8:  Answer (a) herbivore and (b) carnivore.

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Q.  9:  What is hydrophobia more commonly known as (clue: it’s not the fear of water)?

A.  9:  Rabies.

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Q. 10:  What is the smallest bird in the world?

A. 10:  The hummingbird.

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Q. 11:  What name is given to calcite deposits (a) suspended from cave roofs and (b) the formations that rise from the floor of a cave due to the accumulation of material deposited from ceiling drippings? (You get a point for each correct answer.)

A. 11:  Answer (a) Stalactites hang from the cave roof and (b) Stalagmites rise from the cave floor.

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Q. 12:  In physics, what is defined as something that causes a change in the acceleration of an object?

A. 12:  A Force.

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Q. 13:  Which element is used in the manufacture of computer microprocessors?

A. 13:  Silicon – hence Silicon Valley in California where most of the major internet companies are based.

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Q. 14:  What is mixed with steel to make it stainless?

A. 14:  Chromium.

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Q. 15:  What is the collective name for a group of finches?

A. 15:  A Charm.

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Q. 16:  What is the angle between the hands of a clock at 1 o’clock?

A. 16:  30 degrees  (360 / 12).  

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Q. 17:  How many men’s names are there in the standard phonetic alphabet and what are they? (Score one point for the correct total and a point for each name you answer correctly.)

A. 17:  There are 5 men’s names in the standard phonetic alphabet; they are Charlie, Mike, Oscar, Romeo, and Victor.

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Q. 18:  With which branch of medicine is Mesmer associated?

A. 18:  Hypnotism.

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Q. 19:  Guglielmo Marconi pioneered the development of what?

A. 19:  Radio.

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Q. 20:  What type of animal is a ‘silverback’?

A. 20:  An adult male gorilla is called a ‘silverback’ because of the distinctive silvery fur growing on their back and hips. Each gorilla family has a ‘silverback’ as leader who scares away other animals by standing on their back legs and beating their chest!

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“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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I thought about commenting on the recent US elections.

And then I decided I wouldn’t.

And then I thought I might.

But decided against it.

In the end I didn’t have to.

Because someone else said it all.

Maybe you’ve heard of him?

His name is Barrack Obama.

And he said,

well I’ll let him tell you himself…

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Obama -  I hear you text

 

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Obama - but I ain't listening text

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