“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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100000 page views

I missed marking my first year anniversary of this blog with an appropriate post and then not to be outdone by that, I also managed to miss the second year anniversary too. I guess I had other things on my mind at the time.

However this post marks another significant milestone in my blogging career, if I can call it that, because earlier today the fasab blog managed to push its way through the 100,000 page views threshold. Certainly a lot more than the humble beginnings when literally only a handful of people turned up!

I know it’s not a world shaking internet statistic, not even in the blogsphere either, but for me and this blog I think it is remarkable. Even more so since I have a tendency to sometimes write about people I know, so I can’t really publicize my blog via the usual “friends and family” route.  

Before I started my blog I’d obviously heard about them, but I’d never even read one. I had a bit of time on my hands and I thought I would give it a go. As I’ve probably said before, I wasn’t really into social networking sites like “Myface” or “Spacebook” or whatever, not that there’s anything wrong with them if you like that sort of thing and many people I know do.

But I thought blogging might be my thing.

So I read blogs and I read about blogging and I created my own little niche of “Fighting Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”, which I found I was doing every day anyway, and mixed it with a bit of humor, politics and so forth – and here we are 100,000 views later, and counting.

It has been an interesting time.

Apart from a handful of hopefuls who think they’ll make a fortune out of it, I think most people are like me, blogging for themselves. But it is also very nice and very rewarding when other people stop by to read the posts and even better when they acknowledge them with a “like”, a “follow”, or a “comment”.

I am delighted to take this opportunity to thank everyone who has visited the fasab blog and particularly those who have decided to follow whether on WordPress, Tumblr, Pinterest, Twitter, or whatever. Some bloggers and readers, who I like to call my “blog-friends” have become regulars here. I very much appreciate your support. I have tried to reciprocate by visiting your blogs too when time permits.

One or two others  –  who I have no doubt are thoroughly ashamed of themselves :)  -  have fallen by the wayside, but most visitors I do not even know. Which brings me to another thing that I wasn’t expecting, and that was the variety of countries visitors come from. The bulk are from the United States, United Kingdom, Canada, Australia and India – which is more or less what you could expect for an English language blog. But interestingly there have also been visitors from many other parts of Europe, South and Central America, Asia, the Middle East and Africa too. And all are very welcome.

So what does the future hold for the fasab blog?

I don’t exactly know the answer to that. Probably more puns, and factoids. Maybe a few more quizzes. Definitely the odd rant about things that annoy me (that’s a lot of things, the list grows every day!). But hopefully a lot of humor too.

A smile never does any harm  -  unless some big stupid bloke thinks you’re laughing at him  -  so prepare yourself for more.

My sincere thanks to everyone who has visited and who reads this.

And don’t forget the “Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy!”

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“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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We’ve talked about stupid criminals on the fasab blog before and if there was a competition to find the stupidest I think it would be a pretty difficult task.

However, having said that, on the short list would have to be 55-year-old Tempe resident Harry Williams.

You see according to court documents (yes, obviously this master criminal was caught) Williams first tried to rob an Ace Hardware store that was within walking distance of his house.

Having entered the store he put his hand under his shirt, announced to the cashier that he had a gun, and demanded all the money in the cash register.

Williams’ “hand under his shirt thing” must have looked so much like a gun that the employee told him he did not have any money in the register and was not going to give him any money even if he did.

With that, Williams demanded that the cashier open the register to prove he didn’t have any money.

The cashier said “No,” and Williams left.

However still determined to steal something, Williams ran across the road, and into a Safeway store.

Again, he tried to convince a cashier that he was committing a robbery. But, again, nobody was buying his routine.

Williams was summarily escorted out of the building, empty handed again.

But he wasn’t finished yet. That’s how stupid he was.

He waited a few minutes and then sneaked back into the same Safeway store where everybody had already seen him, stuffed a lone sausage in his pants, and sneaked back out.

Police found Williams shortly afterwards and discovered that, as well as the stolen sausage,  he actually did have a 4- or 5-inch knife in his pocket, which he hadn’t thought of using, preferring his non-existent gun instead.

Although Williams was initially booked on charges of attempted armed robbery for using a simulated weapon, the charges were reduced to that of attempted robbery and shoplifting. 

And he made our dumb criminals shortlist! Go Harry!!!

dumb criminal harry williams

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“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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If failure is path of least persistence, you can’t accuse me of failing to stick up for puns.

This series has already been going a lot longer than I ever imagined.

Will it ever end?

Eventually I suppose.

But not this week.

So enjoy or endure some more!

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rofl

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It’s your attitude and not your aptitude

that determines your altitude.

attitude and not your aptitude

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Last night I had a dream that a silicon chip and

a hard drive conditionally offered to bring my dinner over.

If memory serves me.

silicon chip

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It’s been decided that there will be a

new gay wing of the Government.

They’re starting with the Homo Office.

gay cartoon

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Who is the worst chicken killer in Shakespeare?

Macbeth. He did murder most foul.

Macbeth

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L’Oreal camouflage paint.

Because you’re war fit.

L'Oreal because you're worth it

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My wife gave me a leaflet about

anger management last week…

I lost it.

anger management leaflet

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People hang on my every word.

Probably why I lost my job at the Samaritans.

Samaritans_logo

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Two old ladies knocked on my door,

selling the bible and brown bread,

they were the Hovis witnesses!

Hovis witnesses

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I’ve got an idea for a new interactive reality TV show.

It’s called ‘Bone Idol’.

I can’t be bothered to send it in though.

Bone Idol

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At the recent winter Olympics, as the rest of the

bobsleigh team prepared for their first run,

the brake man suddenly fell to the floor clutching his leg.

“Go on without me,” he cried.

“I’ll only slow you down.”

Bobsleigh

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Drilling for oil is boring.

canada_oildrilling

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I used to run a dating agency for chickens.

But I was struggling to make hens meet.

chickenspeed

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Did you hear about the Frenchman

who could only count to seven?

He had a huit allergy.

cartoon frenchman

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Cool, although I just barley got it…a little corny….

I can’t help it, they just keep cropping up….

me_so_corny_corn_cob_sticker

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A bulb walks into an airport without any bags

wearing nothing but a shirt, sandals, and a hat.

The check in girl looks at him and says,

“Travelling light?”

The bulb says “Yes, I am.”

light bulb

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“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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In the town where I went to school the local photography shop was the place to go when you needed a photo for a passport or driving license or whatever. The guy who owned the store invariably came out with the following line when he got you positioned and was ready to take the shot…

“Would you like a good photograph

…..or one that looks like you?”

It’s easy to be cynical and complain about new technologies. Although on the whole I embrace new technology, I have at times been highly critical about some aspects (as with recent short series about the awful auto-correct cell phone feature - check out the “Bloopers” section if you want to see them).

But new technology has on most occasions made life easier or more convenient. And at times a lot less expensive.

Photography is one area where there can be no doubt that for most people the advances made with digital photography is a big plus.

Just as with musical recordings there are still purists out there who use reel-to-reel tape and prefer the crackly authenticity of vinyl LP records, with photography there are some who prefer to develop and print their own photographs.

For my part, however, the days of running down to the local pharmacy with my 35mm film and then repeating the process the next day to get the prints, many of which weren’t worth the expense and bother, are over. And thank goodness for that!

Nowadays you can snap 100 photos, pick out the best 20 or so, use your personal computer software (even free stuff like Google’s Picasa) to crop and improve them and then print off either professionally or on your own home printer only the ones you really like (the ‘keepers’ we call them).

Of course, there’s always a downside. And the BIG downside to all this is that there really is no excuse nowadays for taking a bad photo – and printing it!

Unfortunately that message hasn’t reached a lot of people yet, as the following examples illustrate.

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bad photo 011

 

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bad_photo_008

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bad photos 013

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bad_photo_007

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bad_photo_006

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bad_photo_005

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bad_photo_004

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bad photos 014

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bad_photo_001

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bad_photo_002

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bad_photo_003

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bad photos 008

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bad photos 009

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bad photo 012

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“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Yes it’s fact day at the fasab blog, and that means another totally random selection of facts that – not only you never knew – but facts that you never knew you never knew.

Here they are.

Enjoy

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did you know2

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Saturn’s rings are only between

30 and 300 feet thick.

saturn

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Napoleon was once attacked by rabbits.
(I bet they were English!)

napoleon

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The Constitution of the Confederate States

of America banned the slave trade.

constitution-confed

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When the American Civil War started,

Confederate Robert E. Lee owned no slaves,

but Union general U.S. Grant did.

Robert E. Lee

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The Siberian rift lake, Lake Baikal,

is not only the deepest lake on Earth

but it also has the largest volume containing

roughly 20% of the Earth’s surface fresh water.

Lake Baikal

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Officially, the longest war in history was between

the Netherlands and the Isles of Scilly.

It lasted from 1651 to 1986.

There were no casualties.

worlds+longest+war

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Neil Armstrong went through U.S. customs

in Honolulu, Hawaii,

on the way back from the moon.

neil armstrong customs

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The original Tron movie did not win an Academy Award

for best special effects because the judges said

they cheated by using computers.

Tron movie

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70% of murders in Detroit go unsolved.

crime scene

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Sorry guys, but Trojan Magnum condoms

are designed for most men to fit into

so that most purchases include an ego boost.

trojan-magnum-condoms

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Karl Marx was once a correspondent

for the New York Daily Tribune.

karl-marx

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The straw was probably invented by Egyptian brewers

to taste in-process beer without removing the fermenting ingredients

which floated on the top of the container.

Egyptian brewers

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The name for fungal remains found in coal is sclerotinite.

coal

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The forward pass was created by the football

team at Saint Louis University.

forward pass

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During his Presidency Bill Clinton sent a total of two emails.

(I guess he was busy doing other things!)

clinton-cartoon

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“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Middle of the month, start of the week – call it what you like….

It’s a quiz!

A few difficult ones this week and one of two easy as well.

And if you get stuck the answers can be found waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay down below, but please NO cheating!

Enjoy and good luck.

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quiz 09

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Q.  1:  What is the sum of the numbers on a roulette wheel? (And don’t forget the double zero!)

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Q.  2:  What is the only borough of New York City that is not an island (or part of an island)?

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Q.  3:  From famous movies like ‘Goldfinger’ it is well known that the United States government keeps its supply of gold at Fort Knox, but where does it keep its supply of silver?

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Q.  4:  What does the ‘D’ in ‘D-Day’ stand for?

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Q.  5:  Which state of the United States of America is bordered by more states than any other?

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Q.  6:  What is the white part of your fingernail is called?

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Q.  7:  What is the oldest still active Parliament in the world?

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Q.  8:  On a standard traffic light, what color is on the bottom?

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Q.  9:  In the epic movie ‘Gone With The Wind’, what is the name of the genteel family that owns the ‘Twelve Oaks’ plantation?

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Q. 10:  What is the name of the highest waterfall  in the world and in which country can it be found. (A point for each correct answer.)

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Q. 11:  In which hand is the Statue of Liberty’s torch?

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Q. 12:  What is the only European capital city not situated on a river?

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Q. 13:  Which Disney movie released in 1942 was about a little fawn?

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Q. 14:  With a recorded temperature of about 134 degrees Fahrenheit or nearly 57 degrees Celsius what part of the United States holds the title of ‘the hottest place on Earth’?  (A point for the name of the place and the state in which it is located.)

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Q. 15:  Without looking at your phone, what two numbers on the dial don’t have letters by them?

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Q. 16:  Which 2007 movie, the third in a series, was the most expensive Hollywood film ever made? (A bonus point if you know the approximate cost.)

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Q. 17:  Which country in the world generates the most electricity from hydroelectric power? (A point for the name of the country and a bonus point for the approximate percentage of electricity generated in this way.)

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Q. 18:  In what 1999 movie did Sean Connery star alongside Mrs Douglas?

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Q. 19:  How many holes does a Chinese checkerboard have?

            a)  64           b)  81            c)  121            d)  144

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Q. 20:  About whom did Roberta Flack write the well known song “Killing Me Softly”?

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ANSWERS

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Q.  1:  What is the sum of the numbers on a roulette wheel? (And don’t forget the double zero!)

A.  1:  The sum of the numbers on a roulette wheel is 666 and of course the double zero makes no difference at all to the total.

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Q.  2:  What is the only borough of New York City that is not an island (or part of an island)?

A.  2:  The only borough of New York City that isn’t an island (or part of an island) is the Bronx.

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Q.  3:  From famous movies like ‘Goldfinger’ it is well known that the United States government keeps its supply of gold at Fort Knox, but where does it keep its supply of silver?

A.  3:  The United States government keeps its supply of silver at the U.S. Military Academy at West Point, NY.

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Q.  4:  What does the ‘D’ in ‘D-Day’ stand for?

A.  4:  The ‘D’ in ‘D-Day’ stands for ‘Day’, in other words, “Day-Day”

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Q.  5:  Which state of the United States of America is bordered by more states than any other?

A.  5:  Tennessee is bordered by more states than any other, by eight states, which are Kentucky, Missouri, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, North Carolina and Virginia.

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Q.  6:  What is the white part of your fingernail is called?

A.  6:  The white part of your fingernail is called the ‘lunula’.

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Q.  7:  What is the oldest still active Parliament in the world?

A.  7:  The Parliament of Iceland is the oldest still active parliament in the world. It was established in 930.

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Q.  8:  On a standard traffic light, what color is on the bottom?

A.  8:  Green.

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Q.  9:  In the epic movie ‘Gone With The Wind’, what is the name of the genteel family that owns the ‘Twelve Oaks’ plantation?

A.  9:  They are the Wilkes family, Leslie Howard starring as ‘Ashley Wilkes’.

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Q. 10:  What is the name of the highest waterfall  in the world and in which country can it be found. (A point for each correct answer.)

A. 10:  The highest waterfall in the world is Angel Falls in Venezuela. It is so high that water will sometimes evaporate before hitting the ground.

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Q. 11:  In which hand is the Statue of Liberty’s torch?

A. 11:  In her right hand.

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Q. 12:  What is the only European capital city not situated on a river?

A. 12:  The Spanish capital Madrid is the only European capital city not situated on a river.

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Q. 13:  Which Disney movie released in 1942 was about a little fawn?

A. 13:  Bambi.

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Q. 14:  With a recorded temperature of about 134 degrees Fahrenheit or nearly 57 degrees Celsius what part of the United States holds the title of ‘the hottest place on Earth’?  (A point for the name of the place and the state in which it is located.)

A. 14:  Death Valley in California holds the title of ‘the hottest place on Earth’.

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Q. 15:  Without looking at your phone, what two numbers on the dial don’t have letters by them?

A. 15:  1 and 0. (Did you look?)

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Q. 16:  Which 2007 movie, the third in a series, was the most expensive Hollywood film ever made? (A bonus point if you know the approximate cost.)

A. 16:  Costing an estimated $300 million, it was ‘Pirates Of The Caribbean, At The World’s End’.

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Q. 17:  Which country in the world generates the most electricity from hydroelectric power? (A point for the name of the country and a bonus point for the approximate percentage of electricity generated in this way.)

A. 17:  Norway gets 98-99% of its electricity from hydroelectric power, more than any other country.

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Q. 18:  In what 1999 movie did Sean Connery star alongside Mrs Douglas?

A. 18:  The movie was ‘Entrapment’, Mrs Douglas is better known as Catherina Zeta-Jones.

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Q. 19:  How many holes does a Chinese checkerboard have?

            a)  64           b)  81            c)  121            d)  144

A. 19:  Answer c), a Chinese checkerboard has 121 holes.

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Q. 20:  About whom did Roberta Flack write the well known song “Killing Me Softly”?

A. 20:  Roberta Flack wrote “Killing Me Softly” about singer Don McLean.

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“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Evelyn Hamilton is 37 years old.

She is from Lufkin, Texas.

And she is a complete idiot.

She’s also in jail because she is a complete idiot.

Not that being a complete idiot is a crime – although it should be.

Instead Evelyn Hamilton is in jail because her feeble brain told her to call the East Texas police to complain about

-  wait fot it  - 

the quality of the marijuana she had purchased from a dealer!

Apparently the dealer had refused to return her money when she complained, so in her empty head, phoning the police about him would get him into trouble, but not her.

But when Sgt. David Casper went to her house after the call to the police, and asks her if she was still in possession of the drugs, he says she pulled the small amount of marijuana from her bra.

More of a smoke than a smoking gun, I grant you, but the Sergeant arrested her anyway on a charge of possession of drug paraphernalia.

Good one Evelyn!

 

Evelyn Hamilton

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